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 |   Poetry and Prose about life, family, thoughts & Lesbian concerns of heart |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Come in for a visit. I write about my life as a daughter, mom, grandmother, friend and life partnership with my lesbian wife. You may smile, laugh or cry, either way you'll have learned about life in America since 1938. ANN And, my friend, I understand because all my silent years I was so deep into my church and Christian activities and feared 'sin' and felt shame when 'sex' was mentioned. Nobody spoke of the "horrible" sin they would not name (the rape of a child); At the same time, I watched ministers and deacons and Sunday School teachers sneaking around committing adultery, while I desired and lived 'without sin' as I knew sin to be as I was taught. I thought and studied the Bible and realized how today's preachers and teachers condemn only what they don't do or what a church leader has said to condemn; I've seen the woman run out of the church but not the man; I saw enough, and I knew the heart of love within me, from all through my life had its focus; it was never about 'having sex'. ...Heck, I didn't know about homosexuality until my college years; then I understood my heart and there was never a sexual thought associated with anyone before my marriage to the man who 'chased' me three years then almost murdered me 16 years later as my children heard the physical fight. After that I stayed single Mom, never dated, just had many friends and my children. Finally after raising my grandson, and knowing my own heart would never ever seek love from a man, I acknowledged that all my life, all of my relationship experiences and feelings clearly showed I had a heart that was drawn romantically with deep love that I could not ever express. Then I moved to Portland, came out and you know you can read the rest of the story. I know how God created my heart. If I don't believe God created me as I am, how could I live? It has nothing to do with 'doing' anything at all; it is 'being' as my Creator created me. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................ I retired in Idaho then moved to Oregon to show my pride as a member of the latest hated group across America: I am a lesbian and when I came "Out at Sixty", I came with pride and joy that I no longer had to hold the secret or carry the shame thrown at gay men and lesbians. With that same pride, I accept all persons and their right to be who they are and live with joy, peace, and the pursuit of happiness. I took a writing course at age 69 and began to write short stories, poems, essays, Op-ed comps and I found Writing.com where I am an Advocacy Writer, writing as an advocate for every person to have Civil and God-given rights each day as they pursue happiness for themselves and their families. Yes, most of my writing has been about gays and lesbians, however, I believe every person in the world shares the same heart and spirit to live peaceably with all peace loving people; while seeking to change the minds of those who live with anger, hatred, prejudice, racism and such. |
| DAY 415 January 7th, 2014 Writing Prompt Poet Carl Sandburg was born on this day in 1878 Prompt : Tell us what kind of poetry appeals to you? Why? Which poet is your favorite? If you do not enjoy reading poetry why? |
| DAY 414: Prompt Monday January 6, 2014 Prompt: The question: Is it harmful to see the good in everybody? Why? Why not? I cannot imagine living the darkness of never seeing the good in everybody. How dismal such a life would be. The only time it might be harmful 'to see the good in everybody' is when a child unwaringly sees the good in the monster set on abusing her/him, destroying the beauty of the child with his/usually male/ ugliness. The ugliness can't be see by the child because the monster may offer a flower, a smile, candy, a simple request like 'will you help me find my little dog?" so that's the first thing the child sees instead of the danger in that father, old uncle, neighbor, older school friend, or stranger. Hundreds of children are skirted away into darkness, not just once but often while the monster abuses them and terrifies them not to tell about him. Too often our judicial system sentences them for few years or, like the one who was sentenced to fifty years got out in 25 with praise from the parole board then he kidnapped, with his wife's help, an eleven year old girl who had never been told about sexual abuse, then kept her in a soundproof building for more than a decade before her rescue to rape and cause her to bear TWO BABIES, "to help him with his sexual problem"... she was just eleven the first time; horrible. That was AFTER his parole and WHILE his parole officer was awarding him for being so good. (Today's 20/20 on ID, 2 parts,1.5.2014,) Her own book: A Stolen Life by Jay Cee Dugard is her personally written book for all families to read so they appropriately inform their children. Living each day to be happy and build our own goodness, we must seek to know our fellow humans at their best while also teaching children to be wary of the monsters. We do not want our children to fear all people. We want them to see the best in other children, to overlook disabilities, disfigurements and choose their friends without fear. As adults, we have better lives, happier lives, more rewarding life when we look for the best in other people. We are fortunate when the best of ourselves is seen, nurtured and praised by others so we want to share that joy by treating others the same. I'm sorry, but after watching that documentary, I can't write about 'good' any more today. Her story resounds to my heart. (If you wonder whether that child you hear crying next door is being abuse, don't do like they did when her life was stolen: Call: 1-800-THE LOST: 843-5678 and call the police. Let them decide and, per her story, if they don't take it seriously and it continues, keep calling the police for the child's sake. If you read A Stolen Life, you'll understand why. The parole officer and policeMEN visited there often until a policeWOMAN checked the old shabby buildings in the back yard...she knew what she would find.} |
| January 4th is National Trivia Day Prompt: All of us have different interests, share some interesting trivia details about your passion. Sporting, Cooking, Gardening, Writing, etc. fans here is your chance to show us what you know about your interests! Have fun, with this. In 1969 I took the position of Volunteer Director at the Idaho State School and Hospital, the institution where babies to elderly persons who had been found to be born with a brain disability or cerebral palsey lived out their lives. The institution had moved 200 of them into community boarding homes around the state but 869 precious souls still lived there. That part of America's history is dreadful; as the Kennedy family knew for their sister was institutionalized and her brain was further damaged by the God-awful brain surgery used in those years did not help but kill part of the brain of the disabled child. Horror! At least Idaho under the direction of the wonderful, late Dr. John R. Marks, was moving them to community facilities, small and more personal, but other states and nations except Denmark were far behind. I loved recruiting teenagers and adults to visit individuals at the institution, chat with them, walk with them, read to them, rock a baby with love, and other ways of interacting with some lonely people. I help change the way the residents, not patients, there were viewed by the general public whom I helped teach to say not:imbecile, idiot or moron..such awful words, but "mentally retarded citizens" which now is considered bad but it was the best words then. I taught the general public to send NEW gifts at Christmas, not just for 'children' but for old men, young teenagers, women, and send something more than toys since most of the residents were adults. I taught them never send used old ragged things at Christmas or anytime. I encouraged volunteers to come and have birthday parties for small groups, have recreational activities, and spend time in the sewing room helping mend and provide clothing. The first federal grant available for our residents was the Foster Grandparent Program and I helped on the committee that wrote the very long heavy federal grant proposal. My first grant writing activity. From my work there, I helped other human services and organizations raise money through grant proposals to state, federal and county governments and to Foundations and Corporations. I can document having raised over SIX million dollars for the various nonprofit organization. I was to be called "Idaho's Dean of Grant-writing" by my fundraising peers because of my good fortune in knowing how to quickly and easily write a grant proposal; something all fundraisers feared beyond imagination. I used my expertise to be an Independent Grant Writing Consultant and Workshop Instructor during my final years before retirement. I take a great amount of pride in my grantwriting success for many reasons. The greatest reason is that I was able to help more people than I can name get some kind of personal help to have better lives. Writing all those proposals and letters to raise money for worthwhile purposes, gave me a certain writing skill. Is there any surprise that when I retired, I took a writing course at age 69 and joined Writing.com and have written over a thousand items here at WDC? Writing is both a gift and a skill. Skills can be learned and adapted from one purpose to another. I'm glad I have found a way to use the craft of writing as a way of healing from life's emotional pain, creating entertainment, informing and supporting readers about social issues such as alcoholism in families or pedophilias in families, clinical depression, and far more. Of all my work in my 76 years, the accomplishments I was able to help make for those 869 people at that institution is the most rewarding in every way for I know I made a difference in many lives of others along my life's pathway. |
| DAY 411: JANUARY 3RD PROMPT Prompt: How good are you at letting things go? Letting things go by when noone has been hurt, is easy for me. Let me or another person be hurt, emotionally in a deep way, and I'll respond without mercy if someone was hurt for no real reason. I don't remembering it happen often, but I do recall when the hurt was deep and lasting. It was the hour I learned a minister's gossiping wife who worked in the office next to mine, decided to tell the wildest tale that could be told about an employee at a Catholic facility. It happened in those mid-years of my life when I was totally in the closet, not wanting anyone to know my heart was drawn to women. I was a single mom raising my three children without any help from their father. That bitch began telling everyone "Ann is a lesbian" and friends began to withdraw from me. I didn't understand why until one friend told me, "Ann, I don't mind if you're a lesbian; Tom and I have several friends who are gay." I was stunned. (By the way, please, never say that to any gay or lesbian; it's unacceptable even if true") She told me Carel had been telling everyone her lie. I went straight to Carel's desk, yelled at her as a 'damn gossip' then went into my office and slammed the door. Someone immediately reported my actions to the CEO who called me in and gave me a lecture before I could explain why I, the quiet friendly Ann, was so angry. He called Carel in, put her on administrative leave three days then fired her for cause. Gossip on the job was a termination offense.' Being lesbian in a Catholic medical center wasn't a termination offense, but the environment changed for me. I learned then what has been proven by research, "When a person hears something bad about a person, they always remember and respond accordingly to the person." I left for a different job right away. Most of the time, I just shrug my shoulders or 'hope for the best' when something happens. Letting go of anger leaves no imprint unless you carry the anger too long. Letting go of emotional pain can sometimes take years, even a whole life. I knew that kind of thing in my childhood and it took two years of counseling in my fifties before I could let it go and live more happily. for showing yourself,not being afraid to do it:You are inspirational.A.J. Lyle:Ann:honoring "OUT IN LOVE". You're helping to open the minds against gay's relationships,and > supporting those struggling with their sexuality everyday.Keep up the amazing > work!"Joy |
| DAY 410; JANUARY 2ND PROMPT Prompt: Give us your personal highlight and lowlight of 2013. I wonder where I posted yesterday's prompt response... I'm so sure I wrote it; must have not hit 'save entry'... confusion for 2014 and the year's hardly started. My dear friends, all of you know the highlight of my year, my life as a writer. From my college days, I have said "I'm going to write a book about..." and Now I have nine books published and on sale worldwide at Amazon and Kindle; have even sold in the UK... The low time of 2013, I cannot remember the lows. At my age and with the healing of my emotional life through counseling, journaling and other writing, has taken place so well, I can't remember the lows. One of my lows was the day I wrote a blog about a friend, best and dearest friend of thirty years, no longer was in touch with me and how I grieved the loss which I felt. After I wrote that blog, to change the font, I ended up totally deleting the whole blog. When such accidental deleting ocurrs, I ask myself, and God, WHY? Usually I do not rewrite the blog because there's something more due to happen or someone may be hurt or some other reason God may not have wanted the blog; consequently, I do not rewrite it. Well, my friends, two days later I felt the love of that friendship and decided to locate the friend who had not responded to my calls for a long time. Then I held my breath and dialed the phone number. The sound of her voice after she heard mine, was welcoming, happy and wonderful. We had a great conversation and she is happy I wanted to send her one of my books. Of course I know not to send her one of my lesbian romance books, but the one of my Oklahoma growing up, the same area of the country where her mother grew up in the late thirties. She has a terrible, deep seated fear of someone even thinking she is a lesbian just because she and I were great best friends for so long. She was terribly upset when I came out and proud to feel free to say I was a lesbian. But this week, she was happy to hear from me. Had my blog not gotten accidentally deleted, I would have missed out on a blessing. I think I will continue to as God "Why" before replacing such a blog; maybe there's something to learn or to experience. Happy 2014. may you find many blessings these 363 days. ANN |
| Day 408 December 31st, 2013 Writing Prompt Prompt: It is New Year's Eve. Most of make resolutions every year. Are we ever successful? Do we make the same one each year? Share some of your resolutions that you have made when you were 16, 25, 35, 45. 55. 65. 75... What's different from then to now? Oh me, Oh my, New Year's Resolution? I've never made any. I've lived my life according to the required title of a speech contest when I was sixteen years of age: "Less than my Best Won't Do? With those few words leading me, annual resolutions had no meaning for nothing could 'top that', nothing at all. At sixteen, I wasn't interested in dating and chasing boys like my sister did. I had my sights on a college degree. It was that year when I heard my father say "moving here to Modesto will be good for the kids. Now, they can go to college if they want to" and I was in the next room making my new, exciting goal: I will go to college. Hip Hip Hooray!. The next year I turned down a date with a good boy because he had not finished tenth grade and I WAS going to college. The years passed and I did go to Modesto Junior College then graduated from Fresno State College, now Fresno State University. After college, I settled into doing what my sister did: I married a man, the one man who pursued me for four years; he had not returned to Kansas after the USNavy but stayed at my hometown church, waiting, hoping, wishing his wish would come true. Chruch people were asking me When are you going to get Married? Ken has been waiting for you, are you going to marry him? WHEN? So I did marry him to make him, my church, my mother and even my father who knew I was a lesbian in 1959, to make all of them HAPPY; I marred the man in June 1960. What more did society and church and mother wish for? Oh, it was "When are you having a baby?" After a while, I gave in, got pregnant and had two babies in two years. Then I wanted to leave them behind, the church, the father and his drinking too much, the mother who cried on my shoulder a thousand times but never followed my advice, so I moved my little family to a new state, the great backward state of Idaho where I taught school and hoped I'd find happiness because I had not found it in my husband, my church or my family. Deep inside me there was a secret in a strongbox daring to break the lock. Then the seventies came and I was trying to live "Less than my Best Won't Do" while being depressed and unhappy in the marriage. I did have much joy in a friend, she was the spouse of my husband's best friend. She didn't know it but I fell in love with her and loved all the days, every day, when she and her family and ours were together having fun, sharing our lives as our children grew up. I still love her though she is still in Idaho, a widow whose dearest daughter has died. Then the husband wasn't living right so I put him through college along with some help from his GI Bill but he wasn't happy with me because I had another best friend who was a dear Christian woman whom he at first called his friend and invited her to always feel welcome in our home; I was glad he said that because my heart loved her while I tried to continue to be a good wife to him and a good mother to my children. I even bore another baby, the one who has stayed near and dear to me, understanding without asking me why I divorced her father when she was four, the one who accepted me fully when I told her my heart was that of a lesbian. In the seventies he became less and less satisfied with his life and our marriage and I was ready to make a New Year's resolution to divorce him but he made it easy the three evenings he returned from personality counseling with our pastor and when he got home he began an argument that turned into a physical fight with me ending up pinned to the floor under his body and knees while he attempted to murder me on the living room floor with my children asleep, maybe, in their rooms. The third night he strangled my breath, almost my lfe, from me, I left him then and forever. And I have been happier every year since then and am happier today having reached a life long goal: to write and see my name on a book I wrote. My goals in life have changed as I grew older, but my RESOLUTIONS have been the same: "Less than my BEST won't do". I just made that resolution again for the sixtieth time. Happy New Year to my readers and friends. Ann |
| DAY 407: Prompt Monday December 30, 2013 Prompt: If you were given three wishes for the New Year one for someone you love, one for humanity, and one for yourself. What would they be? We dream our wishes could come true. From our childhood days when we read fairy tales of love, family, gremlins and all kinds of characters and creatures, we've wished our dreams could come true. To be offered by a fairy or gypsy or wailing dwarf, we've wished we could hear, "You'll have three wishes today and whatever your first three wishes are, they will come true." Who hasn't day dreamed of such a moment in life. If I could have one wish for humanity, I would wish for peace among religions, nations and within nations. The peace I would wish for would not be for drastic changes in who rules but how rulers rule. The peace would mean that no person would be purposely hurt by laws, enforcers, guns, and hatred. It would mean that individuals, governors, national leaders and family members would take time to talk together with the goal of compromise and sharing in the final decision which would not bring harm to anyone. People would still be different, look different, dress differently, love differently, but would accept the differences among them. If my genie or fairy or whoever would grant my wish for someone I love, I would make a wish for my beloved partner/wife Molly. My wish for her would be that in an instant her body would be fully healthy with no damage from her years of alcoholic illness nor from the 'brittle diabetes' which incapacitates her every day, many times each day when her blood sugar drops to the emergency low of 25 or the emergency high above 300 but would stay at the normal 105 regardless of what she eats or what she does each day. With the alcoholism behind her now, the dreadful 'brittle diabetes' is killing her because her pancreas no longer produces any insulin, something we 'normally healthy' people never have to think about because our pancreas produces the correct amount of insulin each day. For her, it now changes every hour. I would wish for her good health so she will live much longer, maybe as long as I believe I will. To me, the best death for two people who love each other as we do, would be to pass in death at the same hour in each other's arms. That would be an extra gift if my wish would/could come true. If my genie, wailing dwarf or other genie, would grant one wish for me, for myself, I wonder what I would wish. Would I wish for perfect health for me and all whom I love, but how long would it last? would one die first or would all die together? I can't imagine how such a gift would come to pass then to an end. I don't think I would want to live past a hundred if it meant being old, unable to enjoy what I enjoyed at the height of my life, with painful joints, wrinkled thin easily hurt skin, the absence of sensual feelings in romance and physical loving, something all of us think about but none of us talk about. Who wants to tell anyone when that sexual libido, the physical response of the body to sexual stimuli, loving touching and kissing. Now that I think about it, maybe my wish for me would be that I not lose that beautiful libido. If I were to say that here, how would my readers respond? Would they think it silly for a seventy-five year old woman to be speaking of losing libido and wishing for it to continue indefinitely? I wonder. Therefore, I am saying here in answer to the prompt: my wish for myself would be to retain my beautiful libido and all the feelings aroused in my body when sharing in love with the lover of my life. At the same time, I would need to ask a wish for my lover to also remain at full throttle of libido so a lifetime of sensual pleasures would always be possible. I just wrote what I did as it came to my mind and I will not erase or delete my three wishes. Ann please be honest in your response, my reading friends. ann |
| Day 405 December 28th, 2013 Writing Prompt Prompt: As this year closes pick one and tell us about it: Most exciting event, saddest event, happiest event, most surprising event, event that you wish you could change, and finally an event that you hope will happen but hasn't. As a writer, this was my most exciting year. The day I held in my hands the printed book of 302 pages, all of which had been written by me, my first novel, was so exciting. I was home alone but all my pets knew something great and wonderful hand happened as I shouted and jumped around, not at all like the serene, serious, seventy-five year old great grandmother that I am. It was a wonderful hour. After that one, A Life Renewed by Ann Patterson, I published a second 300 page novel, Out In Love by Ann Patterson and celebrated. Then I took hundreds of my lesbian romance stories, one a 40,000 word novelella, and published them as seven volumes of Lesbians Rock, Volume 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. So 2013 was the year I met my New Years Goal: to have EBooks published and for sale on Kindle and Amazon Worldwide. No I will embark on marketing it in Oregon and as far as I can go. I have entered A Life Renewed in the Oklahoma Federation of Writers fictional novel contest because it is about life in rural America, Oklahoma specifically with a heartwarming story through which my childhood memories and way of life in rural America during World War II. My fingers may weld together as I'll have them crossed until the contest is over. Win or not, I hope to go some year to Oklahoma, visit family there and have some book signings and promotions of my book. I have mailed signed copies to my two aunts, the only family members still alive who were part of those years of my life. I am grateful for Writing.com for all the ways this wonderful place has helped me to become a many times better writer than when I first started writing at age seventy. Readers and reviewers and supportive WDC friends have helped me become a writer and now an Author, a title I'm enjoying very much. For 2014 my writing goals will continue to challenge me and I will again push forward to make them happen. My books are already selling in UK and USA and whatever I can do to sell more is what I intend to do in 2014. I hope by the end of the year to have sold 500 books, a lofty goal but worth wishing for. Even so, I will be doing many things locally to sell the books and share them whenever that's the better thing to do. |
| 404: DECEMBER 27TH PROMPT Prompt: What is your favorite gift you recieved this year for Christmas? I am back after my Christmas trip to be with my daughter and granddaughter, and with my sweet life partner and her 90 yr old mother; I had a special niice and wonderful holiday with family. It was a joy being with my youngest daughter and her little girl, my seventh grandchild. And to be with Molly and her mother in her mother's home where I felt loved and appreciated also. Family is so important at Christmas and being with family and sharing the atmosphere of love and total acceptance is beautiful. My greatest gift was the love I received during my days with family. Yes, I missed the others whom I could not be with but the love I received was warm and deeply felt in my heart and life. Total acceptance as your are is the greatest gift one can receive. I received that at this Christmas. "to be alive in such a day and share that day with love is perfect.' On my way home, I gained perfect insight, an understanding of something that has interfered wit me every time I have ever visited my family, any family members where there were children, has always been a time when I became sad, depressed and cried, sobbed real tears. I have never understood it until I was almost home from my long four hour drive today. The insight was from God; it had to be. I have tried all the years of my adult life to understand why I get so sad when with family, and the children are happy and playful and wonderful. When I got home, I wrote the insight that came to me: Grieving for My Younger Self... Finally, I understand. Sixty-five years later, I finally understand. In a moment of time today, I have understood why I am sad and in tears everytime I am with my family, either my own children and their children and grandchildren, or my family of origin and their children and grandchildren. I finally understand. Every Christmas and other special days, when I am visiting with family, I become sad and depressed and I cry. Nobody understands why. And I have never understood why, until today. I've had to apologize to family members who see me cry deep tears, sobbing deeply, even when I did not understand why myself. In a moment of insight today, sixty-five years after a terrible childhood trauma, I have finally understood why the sadness, depression and deep tears with sobs. The reason: to be with family and around the children, my heart grieves for the child I once was, the child who was sexually abused over and over the year I was ten by the old, toothless uncle John; the man the family thought was perfectly safe around children; the man who was a pedophile who abused the quiet, gentle, precious little girl living in my skin that year and she suffered alone, fearful of telling anyone what was happening over and over by his ugliness. How man hundreds of other children did he harm in his eighty years? God, help them somehow. Anytime my heart is reminded deep inside about that little girl who was abused by a trusted family member, then my heart goes into the depth of sadness, depression, sobs and tears. I suppose my heart will always grieve the loss of that precious child whom I was that year. She lost far more than anyone of any age can ever understand the year she was ten; I could not save her that year for I was shy, quiet and trusting as that little girl. Now sixty-five years later, when my heart remembers even before my brain does, the sadness, the depression, the tears, the sobs return. She still wants to be protected, to be set free from that horrific year and all he did to her. I could not protect her then and I still cannot and she still reminds me of the loss she sufferred that year. So I cry for her. Family, that's why I cry, why I go into the depth of the sadness whenever I am around the children whom we all love. She comes alive in me as she remembers and she cries. Please remember that the next holiday or family visit when I go into the sadness, the tears, the sorrow for her and all that she lost that year of her life. I cannot prevent the grieving for the child whom I once was. Protect all the children around you so that nobody they think they can trust ever steals their innocence, their very soul, their spirit, their life. |
| December 21, 2013 at 6:45pm Its the first day of Winter . "On the December solstice, we celebrate the (unofficial) first day of winter in the Northern Hemisphere and first day of summer in the Southern Hemisphere. Unofficial? In my day nobody ever said 'winter soltice', just 'the shortest day of the year" and that was enough to make it special. As kids we could look forward to longer and longer days, no more walking to school in the dark as it is now in December in our part of the world. Today was a warm sunny day in Oregon, not warm enough to dry up all the sogginess of rain in Oregon though. Tomorrow I'll drive two hundred miles north and spend three days with my wonderful daughter and granddaughter who called me this morning. They are two of the brightest and most wonderful human beings God ever created. It's nice to be cherished and they do cherish me. I used to like winter, nothing about the cold every bothered me; but now I just want to be warm and that means high heating bills but I've got to have my warmth. I don't know if that comes with aging or if I'm cold-hearted, but I stay indoors as much as possible. Our three hens and pet turkey are lucky I'm willing to go outdoors and let them out each morning and do the opposite at dark. Oh My Gosh, it's dark outside and I haven't locked them in; hopefully the racoon, opossum and skunk hasn't gotten ther before now. Gotta go, and save the old hens!  |
| December 21st, 2013 Writing Prompt Its the first day of Winter . Prompt:What is your favorite winter activity that involves snow ? Why? If you don't live in a snow area, what snow activity would you like to try the most? Why I was a teenager in central California when the high school Ski Club would take a bus to the mountain's ski areas for the day. I was active in all women's athletics and so wished I could go skiing. I may have had the time and Ski Club available but finances in our family of six were extremely limited so I could never afford it. Skiing is the one thing I've never done that I wish I could have done. I grew up in snow country, Oklahoma, and nobody ever spoke of skiing. I still like to think I'd have been a good skier, maybe not for US Olympics but I could/would have enjoyed it very much. ann |
| DAY 397: DECEMBER 20TH PROMPT Prompt: Who are your "top ten people" of 2013 like that one show that went on Wednesday night that I saw commercials for and was mildly interested in but don't remember what it's called? The top ten people I choose for 2013 1. My precious daughter who has spend this year with a grueling divorce from a man who assaulted her, whose family has money to help him create hurdle after hurdle in a pesky divorce as he fights her on every possible item in relation to the divorce. He was lucky to have her and his parents always got the two weeks at Christmas and at Thanksgiving to spend at their home so I couldn't be there those days all twenty-four years. Now they've been so angry that my daughter would dare divorce their huge bulky baby. Their daughter is ten and is being pulled apart emotionally by his shenanigans and his live-in woman and her three daughters...he lives in her house; men never pay a price for their adultery.. 1 Also top ten is my sweet wonderful Molly, my wife/partner of fifteen years since I decided to come out as lesbian at age sixty, move to Oregon and live my new life in love, peace, happiness and joy. 3. Writing.com com with the StoryMaster and StoryMistress is on my Top Ten list because they have given me a home and playground with so many WDC friends who have encouraged me to keep writing until this past month when i dared to self-publish and have nine beautiful books for sale in Amazon and Kindle worldwide. Without WDC, I might never have believed enough in my writing to do anything seriously these seven years. Today is my 7th birthday here. 4. The world's Top of the Top of all lists was buried this last week after he taught the world what perseverance and determination can do. He changed the world and his country of So. Africa in a way that is beyond belief and words because he kept his heart open as he sought justice then 'found forgiveness' for every white/paleface/Caucasian who was willing to change their racism and accept their world in all its differences. God bless Nelson Mandela. 5. I'll name Senator Harry Reid for the Top Ten because he finally did what he should have done the first day of the dying 2013 Congress; he changed the rule so the Republicans could not stop all the Appointments to public office required by the President; If there were a "Lower than Low" list I would put the cowardly Republicans who have let the ultra-nasty Tea Partiers take them down the destructive road so that no real government was made this whole year by the highly paid Republicans who don't want hungry children or their jobless parents to have a dollar for food. 6. I'll name Hillary Clinton, the next President of the United States, for her laying the groundwork, the foundation for her campaign to win the office in 2014 7. I'll name Lawrence at "The Last Word" on MSNBC for raising money to send school desks for children in Africa and tuition money for girls who may not get an education if their parents only have enough money for their son; and now he has announced that the one thing girls in schools wish for is a bar of soap; imagine having that as their single wish each day. 8. I'll name PBS Public Broadcasting Network for the myriad of movies, mysteries, special music, in depth news, and all they provide to educate children and adults without them ever using an ugly 'cuss' word or the f word and such. 9. I would add President Barak Obama for his constant desire to make life better for all Americans, not just the upper classes with all their wealth but for the child who is hungry, the father or mother seeking work/employment, for the elderly for the sick and disabled, and I pray for him that in the coming year he can find ways to help all those who weigh on his heart. 10. I will name one of the most faithful, kind, friendly, supportive, friends here at Writing.com. Lyn is a wonderful writer and a marvelous cheerleader. |
| 19th Day 396 Writing Prompt Prompt: If you could have anything for Christmas this year by making a wish would you take the gift for yourself or would you make the wish for someone in need to have something they need? Is it better to receive or give? I guess I've demonstrated that by sending my daughter something she's been wanting for months and I could finally afford it. At my age and so far from family, Christmas is just another winter day on the calendar. Nobody mails Christmas cards anymore so nothing comes from the outside to remind me it's supposed to be a special day or season. This year I'll be at home with the puppies, rabbit, hens and pet turkey hoping to stay warm and enjoying the heartwarming Christmas movies. I gave up church back with the divorce in 1976 so have nothing that makes one day of the week significant so for me, every day is Saturday since I retired. My sweet Molly, wife/partner, is having Christmas with her ninety year old widowed mother and that's my gift to both of them. There was a time I always put dollars in the salvation army buckets' until I found out the Salvation Army Foundation is the largest in the country other than Billy Graham Foundation and University Foundations. "Foundations" are the investment money charities set aside and only spend the interest and similar earnings so they don't need all the money they beg you for at Christmas and other times of the year. Those national or statewide Foundations don't let the local office have very much money so they will try harder to bring in more donations in cash at Christmas and through the year. I know about this because I raised money for hospitals that had a large cesspool Foundation that will last them hundreds of years into the future. I guess I'm the Grinch. ANN |
| Prompt: Have you ever created a special holiday drink of any kind? If so, what did it contain? How did other people like it? First: I received this at 6:40 pm but can't post until tomorrow morning or day; and my memory is so bad, I keep forgetting to post it so long after writing it. So, I'm going to post it when it is finished. I do not write in the Circle to be awarded anything, just participation. When I forget, certain members who like to read what I write, get worried that I may be ill or worse so contact me to ask if I'm ok. I deeply appreciate that so my entries may be sent too early, it's ok that they don't count in the contests; I leave it up to you to decide whether to allow that or delete my post; it's up to you. I get depressed when my memory fails me over and over; doing this my way at least lets me feel a part of the group, not apart from the Circle. Happy Holidays to all. ANN Prompt: The holiday drink I have is Cherry Coke. I never mixed anything as a drink except koolaide with fruit juices to make nonalcoholic punch. I abhor anyone who puts alcohol into 'nonalcoholic' drinks because of my own experience when that had happened and it was so cold I drank it as refreshing and my friends in the room knew I never touched alcohol, but never told me. My head hurt for three days and so did mystomach.. I forgave those who knew but didn't tell me it was alcoholic...I might have had one small glass but none to quench my thirst. Alcoholism killed my father, my brother, my niece and contributed I'm sure to my sister's early death. So why should I follow such? ann |
| Prompt: What is your favorite spiritual/motivational quote? Why? When I was sixteen, mature in nature and relationships, I was also a student of the Bible. One verse became my motivation: "Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me" which I used in a speech contest that year as "Less than my best won't do." Together these quotations have been my mantra in all phases of my life. These were my guides and motivation whether I was cooking my family's evening meal as I did for my family of six from age thirteen to age twenty (from Junior High School through Junior College), or whether I was picking peaches using a twelve foot ladder each day 6:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. six days a week, or whether I was studying or whatever I needed to do for the past sixty years. My faith in God and my faith in myself increased all my years because I had chosen these quotations as if they were written on my forehead. Living by them allowed me to succeed in school and every job and activity I chose to do. My goals for every project, every job, every task was to do my very best knowing "I can do all things." That is why I have no regrets regarding my career, activities, family, all of my life. I am deeply proud of my children whom I raised and fully supported as a single Mom from their ages of 4, 11, 12, and I have their love and respect for the kind of mother I was and am. While my marriage ended in divorce, even that decision was made as the best I could do when I needed to do it. After his physical abuse, strangling me the third time in two weeks until I feared for my life, I did not stay in an abusive marriage, I knew I could do what was needed as a single Mom and it was best for my children and me. I have no regrets; neither do my children, now over age forty. During my career, I was driven by the Quotations to exceed every goal set my my supervisors, Board of Directors and myself; and I exceeded those goals continuously. When I decided to come out as the lesbian my heart had known I was from high school, I was not secretive but without fear and with the sense that it was the best thing I could do for me, I came out in a public way in the community in Idaho where I had worked for thirty years; an 8 x 11 Op-ed newspaper column was my declaration to all who had known me that they actually knew a lesbian, a gay person, one of "those people" with "those tendencies" which were their negatives about gay men and lesbian. And, it was the best thing for me to do as I was amazed at acceptance by even the most negative persons outside the church, a place lesbians are never accepted. When I decided to write, I wanted to follow my life's mantras, and I have. I took a writing course at age sixty-nine to learn how to write a story then began writing at seventy. You, my readers have read my writing and I believe you can tell I have continued to "make the best better", as was the motto of my 4-H Club in Elementary School, and my writing shows that. I just self-published two novels and nine collections of my short stories and I am confident my realistic goals will be met. I may be sounding like I'm just an egotistical woman, but I am not; in all humility, I am thankful for the two quotations that led me to be the woman I was and am. Yes, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" and "Less than my best won't do." Ann Patterson, Author Vote Yes if you think I have. ........... Vote No if you think I have not ........ *************************************************************************************************************************************************************** Prompt: Should people know the worst of their ancestors? I think everyone needs to understand the 'worst' so they can understand the person's following generations and problems they have/had. Do you know the worst in your generations of family? If you do, then you can understand your generation and others. To understand is a gift. ANN My mean grandfather's wife lived to 99 with Alziemiers at 92; his sons were 3 major alcoholics from WWII to their deaths, one son workaholic, one was alcoholic turned religious addiction; daughters all depressed with one severe manic depressed (was used sexually by the mean father), one spent 15 years in depressive grief after son's death, one in and out of hospital for depression, one depressed and many kinds and years of cancer. Then the next generation (mine) loaded with alcoholism and clinical depression (one or the other) yet it's depression that leads to alcoholism; Oh, and my mean grandfather's father died early and his mother was mean and he ran away from home at fifteen. See from the mean mother to her mean son my grandfather came two generations, actually three because my alcoholic brother's kids were/are all alcohol or drug adictions with one staying sober after age thirty. The children of those three of us not alcoholic are not alcoholic. Like me, my two children have been depressed and I wonder how their years of my marriage caused that. By knowing the 'worst' we can understand our own generation and maybe see what's happening in the next; all because of the first: my grandfather's mother. Re alcoholism, medical science knows it can be DNA transferred so we can understand than in the generations of my paternal family. On my maternal side; no 'worsts' except the great grandfather and his youngest son who abused me and middle son who abused my aunt; but my grandfather was good as gold in every way a man could ever be....the one who abused me stayed single, the other one married twice had one son who died early in twenties. Thank God the 'worst' did not have kids or there would been others abused not just me. This is the first time I've wrote about this stuff this way, and it helps me SEE some important things. in all honesty, ANN |
| DAY 391: DECEMBER 14TH PROMPT Prompt: What is your favorite genre to read? To write? To watch on TV/movies? Well, let's see, anyone who checks my more than a thousand entries at my portfolio, knows my favorite genre to write: fiction Lesbian Romance. Until May 2012, I wrote numerous styles and genres of stories. Then I found my genre to write and now have on Kindle and Amazon SEVEN volumes of Lesbians Rock, Stories of Women Loving Women. I love to read heartwarming stories about people and I wrote on of them which I have also published: A Life Renewed about a rural retired schoolteacher and her teenage neighbor as they lived ordinary lives during World War II in America's rural small town. I lived that life so the story is all about me as told through the lives of the two main characters. I love to read the classics, still reading Anna Karenina by Tolstoy; And I love Hallmark television movies for the heartwarming stories told. My earliest reading life was when I was in fourth grade in a small town school which had a library for elementary students, Paoli Oklahoma, and I read all the Bobbsey Twins, Old Mother West Wind, WWII books like "Bombs over Tokoyo" and all of the series. I read every magazine, newspaper and book I could get my hands on those years to learn about the world I didn't know if I would ever experience. No wonder I'm a writer now in my final years of life. ANN |
| Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 390: DECEMBER 13TH PROMPT Prompt: Do you work well in groups? I love to work in groups. During my career working with Idaho's department of welfare and numerous nonprofit groups in program development, administration, fundraising, grant writing, and so many topics, at conferences and workshops, we worked in groups. For some reason I was usually asked to be the group leader. I guess I was talkative and showed organization and originality in what I said as a group member,so they asked me to lead the group and report our activity to the larger group at the event. In groups, the discussion brings up ideas no single person could have come up with so that made group work was more productive regardless of the question or subject. A good group leader can get even the most shy person to make a contribution and can ensure respect for all members and ideas. That made group work wonderful for all concerned. Now, retired and sitting at home writing on my computer, my group is a worldwide wonderful group of fellow writers who help each other and honor our differences. I'm truly grateful for Writing.com. ann |
| Prompt: Do you often include symbolism in your writing? Is it interpreted correctly? Have you ever had someone find a symbol in your writing that you never intended for there to be? I don't purposefully include symbolism in most of my poems never in stories. I am always delighted when a reader does find symbolism and as I analyze what they say, I can 'see' the symbolism. I love it when that happens. I am a reader who seeks and enjoys symbolism in what I read or movies. A most interesting event about this is with "The Life of PI" in which I only saw and thought about the symbolism, then one of my reviewers who took the final conversation of the movie/and she had read the book, and she saw no symbolism but the cold, harsh truth. The Pi young man told two stories about his surviving a shipwreck; one was cartoonish but spiritual' in concept and the other was about mean people. I preferred to enjoy the symbolism of the story as shown on the screen, miracles in his relationships with the animals and places along his drifting about the ocean; but the other person focused on the mean people and how they related angrily and fitfully. I like my thoughts best. Symbolism comes from inside each of us.Some can write it and give great meaning to their words; some of us know it but don't write it. I'd rather be able to purposefully write it. Hmmm, now that I've said that, I'll do it. I'll work on doing it. Anytime I learn something new, I challenge myself to do it, so I'll write with some symbolism this New Year. I wonder if my readers will notice it when I do. Forgotten Fear As a woman of eighty-three Madeline still had great fear Anytime a snake she would see Even those in the zoo all year Why would she have such dread Of colorful snakes trapped in the zoo Unable to hurt or kill her dead When she could smile and say "f..you" Perhaps because she wanted to say The f-word to a man she knew At ten who had his own way With her body, heart and soul, too. That's what psychiatrist think If a child was hurt one day At a long forgotten skating rink Her body, her soul taken away. |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 388: Prompt Wednesday December 11, 2013 Prompt: Write a story or a poem about your favorite holiday? My Birthday My Favorite Holiday If there's an important holiday, it's the celebration of my birth. For most, it's just another way to live August fifth on this earth; With hope for good and true love I've given myself to serve God above. Not just another day to me, For it meant I would have a life; For most the day has no key But it's my day to to take a knife, Cut a cake and share a smile; Glad I can walk another mile. |
| Prompt: December 10th is Human Rights Day. What do you consider to be the rights of every human being in the world, not just here in the U.S. What do you feel should be the most important right of all guaranteed to every human. Explain why..... In America, we say "the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" As I write this, South Africa is preparing to honor the single man who showed the importance of "the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" after he was freed from the prison in which he lived simply because he had sought "the right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" for people like himself who were treated worse than animals by the white-faced English who had trampled over the rights of people for centuries seeking only their gain at the expense of anyone different. You know, I've never heard the leaders, the royalty of Great Britain apologize to any people of the world for the ugly way they as a nation treated the rest of the world as they conquered nations of all continents with military might then stomped them into the depths of prejudice while white English rich people had their way over the conquered bodies, hearts and souls for centuries. The very opposite of the way the English of past centuries treated other people is the most important right for all humans: life. Conquerers of a people use brute strength and weapons to take away the right to life, to live, to breathe, to survive, of anyone conquered anytime they chose. Today in America, those of us whose romantic hearts are gay are beginning to have the right to pursue personal happiness as the right to marry the person of our choice is being granted. We are thankful. Even more, we are thankful we have had the right to life, most of us have, but some like Matthew Shepherd and others had their lives taken maliciously. We have had the right to liberty, the freedom to have friends and lovers most of the time, however, many have been imprisoned, jailed, hurt in some way as their liberty was taken from them. God gave life and no man or king or nation has the right to take the life of any other human being. The right to life is still the most important right for all human beings. While we still have our breath and a heart pumping life through us, we can still have hope for each of the other freedoms that can make our life better one more day. When we are fortunate, we are then allowed to pursue joy, love, happiness and enjoy life worth living day after day. But it you take my life, I have no chance to exercise any other freedom, never. |
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