Ask Catty

catty says "Sure. The camera is your friend. (Along with all the cell phone vids posted on You Tube just for that purpose, to prove your innocence) "

Dad says "Dear catty - I thought all the red-light cameras were good for was the videos on the 11:00 news of people running red lights and getting T-boned. Have you ever been T-boned?"

catty says "Actually yes. I was in a school zone and a brand new Mercedes ran a stop sign and T-Boned me. Had to have physical therapy, had to replace my car. Thank God my 4 mo old son wasn't in car at the time. I had just dropped him off at my mom's for babysitting."

Dad says "I was drving on an icy street, going only 25, when an on-coming car lost control and wended up side-ways in my lane. I T-Boned him. I was in my Mustang. This was just after Christmas, 1984 when I lived in PA, before I met Mom, before Son was born."

Dad says "When Son was about 10, he saw a picture of my Mustang (I named it Mustang, of course) "You wrecked a Mustang, Dad? How could you?" he cried. Said I, "I didn't plan on it!""

catty says "The little Dickens!"

Dad says "No, he's not a Dickens. He can't write worth a damn."

Alala says "Ummm on you....I'm telling MoM that you got a thang goin on....."

Dad says "Um, ..... Huh?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I don't know. Something about a thong."

Dad says "*stare blankly, waiting for Alala to explain herself*"

Dad says "Dear catty , why doesn't anybody have any questions for you? Oh, I think I've asked this before. If I have, never mind, Love, Dad"

catty says "Dear Dad, I have taught you well."

Dad says "I am, after all, your bestest and favoritestest student."

catty says "I think you are maybe my only student... "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Depends on what you are teaching tonight..."

Dad says "Dear catty, Have you heard the news? I'm gonna be DAD THE SUPER COOL GRANDPA in April. "

BlueMoon says " Dear Catty, I'm pondering where to go with my life. Fall classes are a go in August and I feel like life's out to get me. I'm all confused in my head and still trying to find my way. Help?! Jitters."

Dad says "Don't hold your breath waiting for catty to answer your question, BlueMoon. But your optimism that she might is refreshing, even in its naivete. "

Dad says "Dear catty, A friend told me that his wife of 25 years has started reading "Bridal Guide" magazine. He wants to know if he should be worried. What should I tell him. Love, Dad"

Singular Scribbler says "Dear Catty, why are most of the nice guys Canadian? "

Dad says "Dear SS, What makes you think all of us are Canadian, eh? What aboot those of us who live in Florida?"

catty says "Dear Blue Moon, go where your feet take you, where your heart leads to and above all, where your wallet wants you to be !!!"

catty says "Dear Dad, better start planning a second honeymoon."

catty says "Dear Singular, because they like bacon?"

Dad says "Dear catty, Did you read my letter? I said it was a friend whose wife had started reading Bridal Guide. Not Mom. And besides, I said they were married 25 years. Mom & I have been married 30. On the other hand, I'll tell Friend # 2 your advice."

catty says "Dear Dad, every couple deserves a 2nd honeymoon, because the first one isn't really appreciated (because it's all about the sex) while the 2nd one is all about the sex but much more appreciated because of the years in between. Understand?"

Dad says "Perfectly clear. Good save! "

catty says "Really? All right!"

Dad says "Of course! My plasure"

catty says "Yes, yes it is! And hopefully Mom's too!"

Dad says " Not tellin' "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Dear Catty. How do you explain your latest incarceration vacation?"

Dad says "Dear Steev. The guy said he was 19. Honest! She thought he looked a little young, but after all, he said he was 19. And she isn't a teacher, either! Your friend (and catty's), Dad"

catty says "Dear Steve,(or Steev), I never explain. ...catty"

Dad says "Catty? Is that your picture? You look amazingly like one of my nieces-who-isn't-actually-my-niece-and-therefore-doesn't-get-a-number."

catty says "Um, yes that's me! I wouldn't feel comfortable putting someone else's picture on my silliness. LOL"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "You don't look like any of my nieces. You look a little bit like the actress who played Roseanne's friend Jackie, I think, but that might be my imagination at work."

Dad says "Actually, Jackie was Roseann Connor's sister. You're right, Steeve, she looks a bit like her. Has anyone ever told you that before, catty? There are worse things on earth that looking like a famous person. Paying that famous person's bills for example."

catty says "No one has ever mistaken me for someone famous. Kind of funny, though I would let a famous person pay my bills. LOL"

Dad says "Like THAT'S ever gonna happen. And I should know. I've been sending bills to famous people for years. Some of the restraining orders are still in effect."

catty says "Now that would be fun serving. The restraining order that is. "

KatElulu says "LIME JELLO?! Why that's a total Utah Thing! You know, I'm all in favor of More Diversity in Hollywood, but Really? Shouldn't they just cancel the night altogether and donate all the money they'll save on Fashion, Food, Security, and Inflated Egos?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Without fashion and inflated egos there would be no Hollywood!"

catty says "Hollywood is code for self centered megalomaniac divas with weirdly named offspring and marriages that fail weekly."

Dad says "Weekly? Or Weakly? And you left out some adjectives. You should have included narcissistic, self-absorbed, vainglorious, and loudmouthed. Uh, we are talking about Steev, right?"

catty says "We're talking Hollywood BayyyBeee!"

Dad says "I'm no BayyyBeee! I'm DAD THE SUPER COOL GRANDPA "

catty says "aaaand CUT! The Relic has been Revived LOL!"

Dad says "I didn't realize I had passed out. Thank you for reviving me. I just wish you hadn't called me a relic. You sound like Son."

catty says "I hope I'm prettier than him."

catty says "That was supposed to say "witty-er"."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Ah, if we could always say what we were supposed to say then wouldn't we have said so many cool things? (Why do I always have to correct the spelling of "things" from "thongs" to "things"? Why do my fingers go there? )"

Dad says "You are prettier than Son. Although, son is quite handsome, and a good father to his own son, pretty is a word that he, like most guys, do not wish to have bestowed upon them. *Had to throw in a plug for Grandson. I have to keep up my insufferability*"

catty says "Well, you ARE Dad, so..."

Dad says "Naturally ."

catty says "and of course, UNnaturally."

Dad says "No, Grandson is naturally my grandson, although Mom had something to do with that, too. And did Son & Son's Girlfriend. And her parents, too, I guess."

catty says "The pridigy of the human race lol"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I had nothing to do with it!"

Dad says "There s a God!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

catty says "Ha! Steeve are you certain you aren't part of the human race?"

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Oh, I'm part of it all right. I just don't want to take credit for it. I don't want anybody to blame anything the human race does on me."

catty says "ah, well, assigning blame is humanity's greatest achievement. "

Dad says "I thought alcohol was "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "Assigning blame while you are drunk."

Dad says "A-ha! We have a winner!"

catty says "So, I am returned from a round trip drive through Texas hill country to Southern Cal and back again. Lots of rocks on that drive. And cactus. Lots of that too. (this is a duplicate post from a possibly duplicated catty) Only time will tell."

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "I've been down that road. In fact, I went specifically to see the rocks and cactus. (Grand Canyon was high point of trip -- WOW!)"

catty says "I didn't see the Grand Canyon, but I did see lots of Desert. And dead things. Whole lot of the dead things."

Dad says "Flew over the Desert Southwest 33 years ago on my way to Niece #1's baptism. Didn't see any dead things. 'Course, I was 35,000 feet in the air, give or take a few inches........"

catty says "Ah. Sorry I have been away, my Mother In Law passed and had to get some things in order..."

Grandma Penguin needs help says "People really need to stop dying, it's getting depressing. "

Steev the Friction Wizurd says "The cure is more babies being born."

catty says "Hm, well, she went peacefully in her sleep after several months at home on Hospice. Very difficult, but not unexpected. Still very emotional and hard on the hubby. Both his parents are gone now."

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