I'm still enjoying this novel. You're doing a good job with your descriptions; this helps keep it interesting.
With a piece this large, you really need to double space between paragraphs. When you single space between paragraphs, it tends to make the eyes cross and it becomes hard to concentrate on what you're reading.
Sto. Rosario Church.Do mean Sto. Rosario or St. Rosario?
Why ask me for water sir, are so blind?Did you mean to say are you so blind? or are you blind?
This is a beautiful poem. I am familiar with the story of Jesus and the woman at the well. It's a beautiful story and has such a great lesson for all of us.
This is a most interesting chapter. I only found one error. I listed two passages below that seemed to be contradictory. Maybe an oversight, or maybe I misunderstood or just missed something.
I'm still enjoying your novel.. Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
but I guess his money as a physician makes up for the stark contrast in their appearance."
"Isn’t he an engineer?"
"He was an engineering student when we were going out. I don’t know what he’s been doing since we broke up."Aren't we speaking of the same person as the one in the above sentence? The first sentence makes it sound like he became a physician. Or did I completely misunderstand?
First of all, let me say that you are definitely a good writer. There was only one error that I saw in this piece. That makes it so much easier to read.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
Six hours What I normally consider an endless flight time now seems fleeting with William to talk to. I think this is a run on sentence. I'm not quite sure how it should be fixed. Maybe separate Six ours and the rest of the sentence with a comma or semicolon. This is one of those things where I know it's wrong, but don't know how to make it right.
This is so touching. When my first husband had a near death experience, he said his whole life passed by his eyes in a flash.
He prayed "Help me". The doctor working on him, asked what he said. Henry said, "I asked God to help me." At that point, my husband became what the doctors liked to call, their miracle patient.
Then I have known people (one, a very dear friend) who was clinically dead for a while, but came back. She said she didn't remember anything during that time.
The thing I think about most, I believe, is not wanting my children and grandchildren to feel the heavy feeling of my not being here anymore. That's a bad feeling. However, time takes care of that.
wow! That gave me goose bumps. I believe things like this really do happen. I think John's ghost was an angel. He entertained an angel unaware when he gave her the money he thought she needed to feed her baby.
I know this is fiction, but like I said, I still believe things like this really happen.
You have spoken so much truth in this piece. I looked for errors but if they're there, they slipped by me.
I self published a book and sold about 300 copies. Then one of our members on this site bought one. She found two errors in it. I had reprints with the corrections.
I think the only thing that bothers me is when someone reads one of my stories about the Bible Club kids and says something like, "these children are not realistic". Actually, I don't know what to do about that, because those particular stories (most of them) are nothing but accounts of what the kids actually said or did. As far as finding grammatical errors, those I appreciate. I also love when the reader makes suggestions of things I can do with the stories (other than change them).
I think what I'm saying here is, I agree with you. You've done a wonderful job.
This is a very helpful and informative piece. What we as writers need to always remember is that even the best authors have received rejection letters.
"This shows a lot of promise, and I think XYZ Editorial Service can really make it publishable. Here, it sounds like something the writer would have to pay for to get it publishable, then the writer would have to start all over and submit it to publishers. I would beware this type encouragement.
I would also beware of finding agents to help sell my book. I fell for that once. It gets mighty expensive and doesn't usually work out.
I'm assuming you wrote this article that was in the BC Eagle.
This is a very informative article. I'm not sure that increasing the age would make all that much difference. If the students take more Driver's Ed., that might help. But for the most part, I think the danger is in fact that once the teen gets that license, they are a bit too confident. A lot of them are ready to celebrate their new found freedom; the freedom to drive. I realize not all teens are like that.
I noticed a couple errors which I've listed below.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
Many changes are needed in order to make our roads safer
You've written this well. I found no typos or misspelled words. I love the style you've used with this. The color is beautiful. Sometimes using color font just about blinds the reader, but this is a soft, pleasant color.
Again, you've done an absolutely beautiful job. This poem is a witness for Jesus. You never know when someone who isn't saved will read it and it will touch their heart and help them to accept Jesus as their Savior.
This is another great tribute to our Heavenly Father.
I found no mistakes in this. You do a wonderful job. I almost envy those who are good at writing poetry.
This one deserves a 10, but we only go to 5. They say 5 is perfect and they also say there's always room for improvement. To me this is perfect. I don't know what you could do to make it any better.
This is so beautiful. So far, everything I've read in your port shows you either talking about God or to Him. That is a wonderful testimony in itself.
Keep up the good work and continue writing. You never know who you'll be a blessing to. Actually, I'd think anyone who visits your port will be blessed.
This is absolutely beautiful and so true.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. I can't think of a thing that I could suggest to correct or improve.
You seem to have it down-pat.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. It reads smoothly. Your lists of wants and don't wants is very interesting. I think that's what most of us would ask for.
I read another poem about bipolar. Is that the same thing as manic depressive? Or is it something different all together?
I know how much your Great-Grandmother and your Grandpa loved youDid you mean to say Great-Grandmother or Grandmother? Oh, I just saw this. You don't need to capitalize the words grandmother or grandpa when using your in front of them.
I found no typos or misspelled words in this piece. This tells me that you are a very careful writer. I've read a lot from your port and I don't think I've found errors in any, except for one story.
I'm afraid you've earned yourself another 5 from Grandma Penny. I found no errors. You use good strong sentence structure. There are no sentence fragments. You held my interest. As a matter of fact, your writing tends to make me feel that I'm right there in the middle of the story.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
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