I know 5 is perfect and they say there's always room for improvement. But, for the life of me, I can't think of a thing you could do to make this any better.
You pulled the reader in and held my attention from the beginning to the end.
I feel as though I knew Jeffry when he was just a child. You've given such wonderful detail and description of him in everything I've read in your port.
This is such a beautiful story. I found no typos or misspelled words in it. You've used good strong sentence structure. I found no run-on sentences or sentence fragments in this.
You've given great detailed description and pulled the reader right into your living room with you.
Keep up the good work and continue writing.
Grandma Penny
Wow! What an interesting story. That son of your's is something else, huh?
That child-like faith gets the job done everytime.
I saw a couple errors you might want to correct. We don't want anything to take away from this heart-warming story.
I was determined not<--Did you mean for this word to be here? I would think you meant that you were determined to make up for that loss to make up for that loss this year.
I certainly know where you're coming from here. Do you think maybe we have a disease? If so, it must really be contagious; there's a lot of folks on the site with the same symptoms.
Right now, as I review your poem, my son is in the kitchen yelling, "Mama, come eat." So I better run. It's not often someone else cooks for me.
Hi Rusty,
This is written beautifully. I found no typos or misspelled words. My first thought is that you take pride in your work before submitting it. You've done a great job with this piece.
I don't usually do these things, but this one just looked so interesting and inviting I felt drawn to it. I tought I'd give it a try.
I know folks get a kick out of these activities and it does seem to help us get our minds in gear. I suppose it is a good writing and mind exercise to get our creative juices flowing.
I'll have to say this was more interesting than most madlibs. At least the part of the story you wrote seemed to be error free. Most folks think that because this is something just for fun, they don't need to take pride in it.
This was fun.
Keep up the good work.
Grandma Penny
This is an interesting story. However, I became distracted quite often due to errors. I'd suggest you do what I often have to do. Read it aloud. Check for run-on sentences, sentence fragments, and missplaced commas.
Like I said in the beginning, this is a good story. You just need to polish it up some. I listed a few errors, hoping to help a little.
Keep writing.
Grandma Penny
The only sound disturbing the silence, a creek not far off crashing over stones, running its course.<--I think this is a run-on sentence. You might want to say was a creek...
A wisp of smoke issued from the chimney, the remnants of a once thriving fire now breathing its last and dying out.You might want to check this out in case I'm wrong. But I think you need to separate this with a semicolon instead of a comma.Example:A wisp of smoke issued from the chimney; the remnants...
I just had to give this a 5 rating. I found no typos or misspelled words. Your sentence structure is strong. You held my interest from the beginning to the end. The content seems to have come straight from your heart to the reader's heart.
This was a fun word search puzzle. I found most of the words right away. However, I had just about decided the word chat wasn't there, but I was wrong.
All your words were spelled correctly, which is something I've found not to be true on some of the word searches.
You've done a good job, as usual. I really enjoyed reading this. I found no typos or misspelled words. You certainly held my interest from the beginning to the end.
I've never heard of this tradition. I remember on the first day of May Mama would let me go barefoot. But I don't even remember my first kiss, with or without the tradition.
This is absolutely beautiful. You've done a great job of summing up this story in poem form.
I found no typos or misspelled words in it.
It's still true today. People still cast stones. As I was reading this, I thought of my grandson who has been hurt by others casting stones. The only thing they could find to complain about was the way he dresses. I really wonder what Jesus would have said when the fingers started pointing. I think he would have done the same as he did with this woman you write about.
I just had to give this a 5 rating. I can't see anything that you could do to improve it. This is something you've written from your heart to your true love. I found no typos or misspelled words and it reads smoothly. This little poem is dripping with love.
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