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Review Requests: OFF
3,537 Public Reviews Given
4,150 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I tend to review using a format that I can comment on plot, characters, setting, atmosphere and dialogue. I also try to point out typos/errors and that sort of thing. This style may change depending on the item!
I'm good at...
I'm better with fiction than anything else. I might be able to have a go at poetry but please don't expect too much!
Favorite Genres
Horror, dark, suspense, thriller, mystery. However, I'm open minded and will read most genres.
Favorite Item Types
Statics - fiction.
Public Reviews
Previous ... 13 14 15 16 -17- 18 19 20 21 22 ... Next
401
401
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return a review you did for me *Smile* I spotted this piece in your highlighted items and couldn't resist!


*Checkg*What I liked:

What a fun take on the song Hotel California *Smile* you captured it so well, the whole scene leading up to the bull meeting his cow was really well done. IT made me smile!

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
402
402
Review of Over Night Freeze  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I'm here to return the review you did for me *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: So Hades has frozen over! Interesting concept. The whole town is completely frozen and the mayor's car crashes because of it.

*People*Characters: There are a couple of characters in this, the mayor and the woman in the Bar & grill. This is a short piece so there isn't a lot of characterisation but I think you do fine.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Hades, Texas. You set the scene really well.


*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*after his chafer helped him out of the car.

I'm wondering if this should be 'chauffer'

*BulletB*“Are you all right, Mayor,”

I think this would be better as a question mark since she's asking a question.

*BulletB*“Are you all right, Mayor?”





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
403
403
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here to return the review you did for me! I chose to read this piece because I always think writing in just dialogue is tough so I wanted to come check it out *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: When I read this at first I thought they were inanimate objects talking but then I think I figured out it was a hand puppet with it's controller? Maybe? I hope I don't offend you, I guess that's just what I got from it.

*Home*Setting: This piece takes place back stage.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: There is a sense of anticipation in this.

*BurstR*Dialogue: This dialogu in this piece feels real and natural. It flows well too.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
404
404
Review of Berserk  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I wanted to come and return a review you did for me *Smile* I chose this piece because it's about a clown so it promises to be chilling!

*Pencil*Storyline: Hehe I love this! We see the sadness of the man behind the mask, tired from a long day. You had me feeling sorry for him (which is a great feat cos clowns are pretty creepy) and seeing him go all crazy made me think that he'd just been pushed too far. I didn't see that ending coming either, great job!

*People*Characters: The clown is the main character in this piece. You portray him so well and drw the reader into his plight, I can understand why he got angry. But I also like that he's not the normal creepy clown guy too *Smile*

*Home*Setting: This is set in an amusement park and you set the scene really well with lots of little details in your piece.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: At first I felt a little sadness for him, but I angered with him I think and could understand where he was coming from. I felt what he felt, that's great!



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
405
405
Review of My Guestbook  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I wanted to stop by and offer you a review since you did one for me, and what better way than to review your lovely guestbook *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I really love the idea of a guestbook, there's something a little more personal about it than the notebook. It means you can customise it and say what you want. I really like the way this piece looks, it's simple yet warm and inviting and I think that's because your personality is warm and inviting too *Smile*

I love that you say:

I love to meet new people and am of the belief that one can never have too many friends!

I agree with this! Having friends, whether online or offline is imprtant and fulfilling *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
406
406
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I hit the random review button looking for something to read so here I am with a review of your piece!

I was just wondering why the '255 words' part needs to be in the title? It might be better places in the description of the item.

*Pencil*Storyline: This piece is quite ironic because Bertha is mad that George rented Twilight for them to watch because she says it's about an abusive relationship. However, I would say how Bertha reacts with George is quite abusive too.

*People*Characters: As I mentioned I think Bertha and George are in a somewhat abusive relationship judging by the way she talks to him and tries to control him. It makes me not like her so much and like him a little more. Perhas that's a natural reaction.

*Home*Setting: I'm not really sure where this takes place. I assume it's in their home but I don't know where that is.

*BurstR*Dialogue: I noticed that with some of the dialogue Bertha is speaking but there is a line break which for me was a little confusing because a line break usually means a new person is speaking.



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
407
407
Review of Sin City  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I wanted to come and offer you a review in honour of your tenth Anniversary here on WdC *Smile* I chose this piece primarily because of the title, I loved the film Sin City so I had to come check it out.

*Pencil*Storyline: This follows the story of a man (who remains nameless) who is cruising down the boulevard of Las Vegas. We think he's out for a cruise until his lust begins to take precedence and it's then that we realise that not all is as it seems.

*People*Characters: The main character at first comes across as a normal man, someone who hates the city and is trying to get somewhere. Slowly but surely, his inner desires come to light and we realise that the man we thought could have been normal is in fact deranged and dangerous. I think is done really well and draws the reader in before allowing them to realise that he's an animal.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in Las Vegas. The scene is set really well with a lot of description to draw the reader in to the scene and see it as he does. Seeing it from his perspective means we see the fake side of Las Vegas, the garishness of it all.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: This is definitely a dark piece. His inner thoughts are revealed throughout the narrative and take the reader down a dark and twisted journey to his gratification. I love how it explores the inner workers of the human mind.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
408
408
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

I wanted to stop by and tell you that I think you do such a great job with the Vigilante Rangers here *Smile* You spread cheer and community throughout Writing.com and make the place happy! I love the layout of this place and particularly like that I was able to find out what the bat cave looked like *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
409
409
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Rising Star Member to Member Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I spotted this piece and was immediately drawn to it, so here I am!

*Pencil*Storyline: This story follows Sparrow who finds himself up for parole and the chance of freedom. He mulls it over and at first thinks it's brilliant and begins planning his celebrations, but soon the reality kicks in and he becomes very aware that if he leaves he won't last very long in the free world.

*People*Characters: Sparrow is the main character. We realise he's been to jail for robbery however, he still comes across as a likeable guy. Perhaps it's his ability to reflect and his absolute honesty that drew me into his character.

*Home*Setting: The setting of this piece is the prison. It's more character driven than anything so we don't get a lot of description, I think that's fine though.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Rising Stars:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
410
410
Review of Madness  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Hey!

This is a Rising Star Member to Member Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I was browsing through your portfolio looking for something to read when I spotted this piece. I don't often read poery but when I saw the title and description of this piece, I was drawn right in.


*Checkg*What I liked:

I like the dark nature of this piece, the idea of thought of letting go completely not only to experience it but to let the demons free and experience that independence in a safe place. I really enjoyed reading this. The flow of the piece worked well and added to the nature of it. Thank you for sharing *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Rising Stars:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
411
411
Review of Paula  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I was looking for something to read and hit the random reivew button and this popped up, so here I am with a review!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry so you'll have to bear with me. This piece instantly appealed to me because of the title (I have a friend named Paula). I really like the way you wrote this piece. You take the reader on a personality tour of this woman and describe her in minute details. It really drew me in with the style it was written in, it had a good, fast pace and the rhymes felt natural. I'm not sure if there was a rhyme pattern but whatever it was it worked! Thanks for sharing *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
412
412
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I was looking for something to read and hit the random review button and this came up *Smile* So here I am with a review! I've never heard the word storoem used before but I'm guessing it's like a story in the form of a poem. I like it. I tend to call these ballad-style poems but what do I know?!

*Checkg*What I liked:

I really enjoyed reading this piece. I'm not sure enjoyed is the right word because it's such a sad piece about a man and wife being parted by death and the dreaded cancer. But when death draws near for him he greets it like an old friend because he wishes to be with his wife again. It's so sad but so sweet at the same time and it emanates with the love they have for each other.

The poem itself flows well and the rhymes feel natural. Thank you for sharing this *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
413
413
Review of Nine  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I hit the random review button and this popped up, so here I am with a review!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I don't often read poetry but this piece presented the story of nine to me in a poetry format. I find those sort of ballad style poems easier to follow and this was no exception. I like the description you used in this piece, it really helped me get involved in the scene and see the characters and begin to understand how they felt. I do have to say though I'm not sure which sport it revolves around though I have an inkling it's baseball (which we don't really play in the UK).

Anyway, thanks for sharing!


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
414
414
Review of This damn war  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey Elena, I stopped by to read and review this piece because you asked me to *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This is a good piece based on a moment in history, the Civil War. We realise that Tommy, although only 14, has run off to join the fight and is taken on. He is wounded in battle and taken to the hospital where he is tended to be his older sister. Only later, he finds out that the war has affected her too.

This story really shows how war affects everybody, to those fighting, to those in the hospitals and those waiting at home. The repetition of the words 'This damn war' at the beginning and end of the piece is really effective and for me it really brought it home.

*People*Characters: Tommy is the main character in this. He's 14 and goes to war to help fight. We don't learn a lot about him or the other characters but we see how the war affects them. I like how it's all based in one family, it helps the reader see the impact of the war.

*Home*Setting: Ths takes place during the Civil War and the scene is set well with each change.



*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“I’ll make you some tea..

Here there's just an extra full stop.

*BulletG*“I’ll make you some tea.

*BulletB*He beat out the battle positions as Lieutenant Thompson called them out ; each one was a code.

Here's there's just an extra space before the semi colon.

*BulletB*He beat out the battle positions as Lieutenant Thompson called them out; each one was a code.


*BulletR*He wanted to run back to the camp, to safety but there were bodies and gunfire and deafening cannons everywhere.

Here I would change the position of the comma:

*BulletR*He wanted to run back to the camp to safety, but there were bodies and gunfire and deafening cannons everywhere.

*BulletV*While he was looking around franticly
*BulletV*While he was looking around frantically

*Bullet*He had been shot more then once.
*Bullet*He had been shot more than once.

*BulletG*said Jenny when she returned with Alex, what have they done to you!

Here you're just missing the opening quotation mark.

*BulletG*said Jenny when she returned with Alex, "What have they done to you!

*BulletB*She wanted help those poor men like the angel she was..
*BulletB*She wanted help those poor men like the angel she was.

*BulletR*“this damn war.”

This just needs a capital.

*BulletR*“This damn war.”





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
415
415
Review of Bury Me Now  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: I'm back with a third review. I chose to stay in the heart break folder


*Checkg*What I liked:

Again, this is another really emotional piece. This one is not about being betrayed or hurt, but being hurt because of the love that you want and don't have. The emotions in this piece come across really well and I could feel the sadness, the hurt, the loneliness of the situation you found yourself in. It had a very melancholy feel to it. The repetition of those words:

'Bury me now
so that I can be free'

worked really well and brought home the theme of the poem.

I really hope that things are better for you now *Heart*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
416
416
Review of Giving Up  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm back with another review. When I spotted the folder dedicated to the heart ache you're going through, or have been through, I wanted to come by.


*Checkg*What I liked:

This is truly a sad piece about the pain of being heartbroken. Heart ache is one of those things that is almost indescribable but you've done a brilliant job here of helping the reader understand just how you feel and what it means to you. I think you did a really good job of explaining the repetitive nature of it too. So often we go back to those people we love no matter how they hurt us and it's because we love them, but it can often be taken advantage of. I hope that you're in a better place now *Smile*

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!

Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
417
417
Review of A WIFE'S DREAM  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This was a really neat 55 word tale! You manage to get across the natural dialogue, the beginnings of character development and the emotions felt by both within just a little space. I think that's a major feat (I find it so hard to write these!)

Hope you're doing okay *Heart*

*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
418
418
Review of So Far Gone  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon! *Smile*


*Checkg*What I liked:

This piece shares a personal piece of your life. It lets the reader learn about the health problems you have had as well as how you've felt about it all. You sound like you were really determined to help yourself and regain a health you wanted to, that's great! I hope that things are still going well for you *Smile*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
419
419
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Writers Garden Jail a Thon!


*Checkg*What I liked:

Hey Elena, I feel like it's been a while since I stopped by to chat and ask how you are. How are you?

I don't often read poetry but this piece was a really good insight into you, your personality and a part of you you chose to share with the community. First, let me tell you that I am sorry that it seems you've had a tough time. It's never easy moving through life but you seem to have extra difficulties. Your poem comes from the heart and lays it all out for the reader. I particularly liked the line:

'I wish I could pour a bucket of black paint'

I think it's really emotive.

Thank you for sharing this *Heart*


*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
420
420
Review of Just Desserts  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a WDC Power Reviewers Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I hit the random review button and this came up, so here I am with a review!

*Pencil*Storyline: This is an interesting piece in which we see the Master with his folowers close behind, summons a demon in order to gain a power. Only, he doesn't specify what power he wants and his life is transformed forever.

*People*Characters: The Master and Elyria are the main characters here. The Master remains nameless and I think that kind of adds to the tone of hte piece and works well. He is clearly power hungry and will do whatever he can to get it. Elyria is portrayed as a young woman who will do his bidding no matter what, but when the tables are turned at the end of hte piece she shows a different side of herself that is cold and cruel. I like it!

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the Texas Lone Star Restaurant and I think you set the tone well.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the WDC Power Reviewers:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
421
421
Review of The Drift  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Horror, Inc.  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Horror Inc Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I've had this piece saved in my list of things to read until I had time to stop by and finally, here I am!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of a man who is in a wooden cabin during a snow storm.

*People*Characters: There is one main character in this piece and while we don't find out his name I don't think that matters too much. At first I considered whether he was getting a little bit of cabin fever and actually, that may have been the case, but he was certainly in a dangerous position.

*Home*Setting: This took place in a cabin surrounded by snow.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: Creepy and unsettling *Smile*



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Horror Inc:


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
422
422
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Let's help each other grow...  
Rated: 13+ | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Let's Help Each Other Grow Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return the review you did for me *Smile* When I spotted this piece I wanted to read this one because I'm in the mood for a crush!

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the stry of Kelly who has a crush on Oliver. She spends little time with him but goes back and reports to her bet friend Stacey, right up ntil the end when she realises that it's not her he's after...

*People*Characters: Aw poor Kelly! I have to say I really felt for her. It's hard being that age and havng a crush and even more so when it's not reciprocated. I think you capture her voice well.

*Home*Setting: This takes place at school.




*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

Original quotes will be in black, any changes or suggestions I'll make in blue to make it clear *Smile*

*BulletG*“No, there are better ways to kill yourself”

This just needs a full stop to end the speech.

*BulletG*“No, there are better ways to kill yourself.”


*BulletB*“Hey just get a life okay, “he said breaking the silence.”Loosen up a little.

The spaces are just a little off here:

*BulletB*“Hey just get a life okay," he said breaking the silence. ”Loosen up a little.

*BulletR*“Oh, so you already know how to laugh at stupid people”, he said lightly.

The comma here should go inside the speech marks.

*BulletR*“Oh, so you already know how to laugh at stupid people,” he said lightly.

*BulletV*However; I enjoyed the limited we spent together.

I think there's a word missing here.

*BulletV*However; I enjoyed the limited time we spent together.





Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Let's Help Each Other Grow Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
423
423
Review of No Kidding  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey! I was looking for something to read and this popped up on the random review button, so here I am *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story about a man who is confronted by himself from another dimension and soon begins to question his life and whether the choices he made were right.

*People*Characters: Wow I have to say I feel for the narrator a bit, that many kids and not a moments time to himself. No wonder he begins to consider life in an alternate universe. Hehe. I felt a little sorry for him but then, on thinking about it, that's his choices.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in his bathroom.

*Ghost*Atmosphere/tone: eerie and unexpected but cool!



*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!



Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
424
424
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey!

This is a Writers Garden Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!

*Reading*Initial hook: I'm here with a review since you were locked up in the Jail a Thon!


*Checkg*What I liked:

I like reading new years resolutions and finding out whether people have achieved their goals. This one may have been for 2011 but I still want to read it! *Smile*

You have a lot of really good and ambitious goals down here! I'm really impressed by them and wonder how far you got with these? Perhaps an update would be good *Smile*

*Cut**Paste*A few suggestions I had:

I would maybe suggest writing a new one of these for this year, compare the goals and look to achieve ones you didn't in the past couple of years!


Hope this helped!



But well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of the Writers Garden:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
425
425
Review of Flash Entries  
Review by blue jellybaby
In affiliation with Sisco's Good Deed Group  
Rated: ASR | N/A (Review only item.)
Hey!

This is a Sisco's Good Deed Group Review! *Smile*

Please remember that these are just my thoughts and somebody else might see it differently!


*Reading*Initial hook: Hey I wanted to come and return the review you did for me, so here I am! *Smile*

*Pencil*Storyline: This tells the story of Grandma Suzie and her descent into Alzheimer and the impact it has on the family until finally, Suzie snaps and murders her son and his wife, wanting to be with the TV on her own once more.

For me, this piece felt a little more tell than show. You take the reader through what happens and why but don't let them get into the minds of the characters. Perhaps this would have benefited the story a little more.

*People*Characters: Grandma Suzie is the main character in this. We see her as she loses her memory and focuses solely on one thing. She evoked some sympathy from me.

*Home*Setting: This takes place in the family home where I presume the three of them live.




*Cut**Paste*I have no suggestions to make!


Hope this helped!


Well done on a good write!!*Pencil*

Reviewed on behalf of Sisco's Good Deed Group:

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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