Hey there Angel Army Adoptee!  Hope your flight went well! I'm still hanging out in your port, like a pesty summer gnat. 
My first impressions of this story were good ones. You have an amazing amount of potential and this is a moving and emotional tale of family, forgiveness, and discovering one's salvation. It moved me to tears several times and made my heart swell with joy as we hit the final bittersweet note. Strange that I felt envy for our wayward Irishman in that moment, but I did.
You infuse your work with emotions that draw a reader in, making them invest themselves in your character. That is so important to do!  I love the messages I find concealed in all your writings and this one is no different. It's powerful and makes us sit back and think. Also, I think many readers would be able to relate to the conflict and doubt. We all have times in our lives...things that knock us down and make us not want to get back up. We all have our scars and moments of hard indifference.
Despite my personal praises, I do have a few suggestions. As your mentor and friend, I'm here to help you in any way I can, as well as encourage you.
 Notes & Suggestions
Formatting. It makes it alot easier to read stories on WDC if you place an extra line break between paragraphs. Its a lot easier on the eyes. I know a lot of readers who will click out of an item without reading it if it is not formatted that way. Just a small request, but it will help both you and your reviewers.
 The doors of the private cathedral opened with a crash, and a golden eyed man walked up the center Aisle. aisle. I don't think it needs capped.
He held something delicately between his Small note here. While adverbs don't bother me, a lot of edtors and people on the site will frown upon them. As your mentor, I feel I should point this tidbit out. A lot of times, you can come up with a stronger decriptive word instead. Try to avoid this short cut and relace those adverbs with more active, stronger decriptions.
Example: He cradled something between his hands
See how it gives a better visual picture and cuts out a few words in the process?
 Whoa! You grabbed my attention with the bird. Excellent hook!
Unfortunately she looked at him just as he reached down. comma after Unfortunately
Blushing brightly he itched I won't mention that brightly could be replaced with an actual hue.  However, there should be a comma after brightly.
Let's be us again He could feel God talking to him, A few things here. You're missing a period after the word 'again.' Secondly, it really helps avoid confusion in a reader if you set thoughts in italics. This also helps the text to stand out. It should also be on a line of its own each time God speaks to him. I know this means you will have to go all the way through your story again, but the effect will be well worth it.
To do this on WDC you place this before the text you want highlighted { i } and this after it { /i } BUT without the spaces in the brackets.  I hope that helps. You can find all the HTML tags for emoticons, colors, fonts, and more in the drop down menu on the upper left hand side of your screen. Click on Site Tools, and the WritingML Help in the box that drops down. These are beneficial tools for the site.
A ten year old boy came home from school, proudly showing his mom the diploma he had gotten for learning all of his scriptures in order. She smiled proudly You use eager here twice. Maybe try eager to show his mom?
There is a tense conflict when describing the dance. Make sure you put it into past tense like the rest of the story and his memories. The same with his memories when he is eighteen. These all need to be past tense.
When he turns onto his road, he sees around 20 emergency vehicles and his house is demolished. Suggestion: he saw emergency vehicles surrounding the demolished remains of his home. The number is not important and losing it will heighten the impact. This might also help give you an example of the tense to use.
Her hands were around where the cross Passive voice. A suggestion for tightening and impact: Her hands still clutched the cross
 Oh how sad! I can't imagine losing a parent, let alone in such a tragic manner. You made me cry here!
.' At this Something strange popped up there between your period and At.
God's soothing
words trying to sway him to no effect. Soothing snuck onto another line there for some reason.  Sneaky trick There is also something off about the wording here. Maybe try: God's attempt to sway him with soothing words had no effect.
Ok. The part where he took the assassin job also needs put into past tense. The shifts can be distracting and confusing. I would hate for someone to be detracted from the enthralling tale you are telling here! The part where he is thirty and laying in bed was done well! That is the tense you need.
Angrily he brushed them comma after Angrily.
The man's struggles ceased
entirely, and he whispered along with God: This is another place where your text jumped to a new line.
Finally he was at the point where the last place left was the cathedral. Passive and a little wordy. Suggestion: He reached the point where the cathedral was the only place left.
Growling the man lit a cigarette then made his way there Comma after growling Also, where is "there?" Made his way to the church?
A startled bird fluttered from the feet of the large Jesus statue and startled the man into dropping the cigarette and brought his eyes up the height of the statue. I would start a new sentence after cigarette. His gaze traveled up the height of the statue.
Turning swiftly he ran out, a smoldering cigarette butt lay forgotten on the floor. a little tightening will add impact. Suggestion: Turning heel, he ran out, his smoldering cigarette butt forgotten on the floor.
Note:  Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you and the work of art you created! 
In Closing: It may look like a lot of suggestions, but really its not! Don't let them daunt you. This was an amazing story and was extremely well written. The tale you tell is gripping and one with a profound message. I teared up several times through this man's emotional journey. I believe this is a piece many on WDC would enjoy reading.
Please feel free to let me know if you make any changes as I would love to come back and give this a higher rate!
Lastly, I really enjoy your work. I am so glad to have this opportunity to work with you and read your offerings. You are a writer with a tremendous amount of talent and potential Keep writing!
 ,
your mentor
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I turn my back for five minutes and you cook up something naughty and delicious! I absolutely ADORE your color scheme for this contest. Black and purple...sheer perfection. 
