~WhoMe???~'s (whome) Reviews

~WhoMe???~

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4,509 Public Reviews Given

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326

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#3659801

Review of How can this be?

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

oh my

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

{bitem1837051:}

I found this to be an interesting bit of writing. Written in a format of centering, these lines speak to me as a poem or of prose. They have a very poetic rhythm and rhyme for me when I read these.

Finding solace in the writing aspect of this piece, is something I could easily relate to. Writing is therapy for many.

Overall, I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. I felt that thought centered, this could also be broken into smaller verses and lines, enhancing certain aspects of the poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3658128

Review of Personal Quote

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with Showering Acts of Joy Group

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

♥♥♥♥♥ A Review For You in connection with "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

[E]♥♥♥♥♥

"Personal Quote"

Moody Blue: Needs an Upgrade

You have been selected for review by me, due to a package gifted you in "Showering Acts of Joy Garden"

. I have volunteered to help fulfill this reviewing package. I hope you find the review useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.
I consider it an honor to have found your port and this great piece of writing. Thank you for taking the time to submit writing into your port. It is a pleasure surfing through your port, trying to decide what to review.

In finding this item, I searched through many others, looking for one with few reviews. I wanted to expand on something that hadn't been written in a while, or something that hadn't perhaps had comment in a time or two.

I didn't look at the length of the piece before opening it up, but then again, how long can a quote be? We have all heard often that less is more and more is less, and such is the case with this short piece. This is a very thought provoking quote that had me sitting and contemplating the words for a spell.

Could I trust someone without loving? Yes, I think I could. I find this statement to be true. For I can trust a neighbor and friend, yet it does not mean I love the person. Then again, we could get into levels of trust but then we start splitting hairs.

Could I love someone without trusting them? Now the quote takes on a whole new meaning. Describe love, to what degree or level? Can you love a family member if you do not trust them? I say you get into murky waters when you mix emotions or try to have experience one without the other.

This has been a very thought provoking piece. For two small lines, it has taken up well over a half an hour of my time, and probably will continue to plague me for a few days or so. Thank you for grabbing my attention.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

328

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#3655813

Review of LOVE ENDURES!

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)

Jaiam

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors chosen by me, for participation in a Simply Positive Challenge. This means that I am reviewing you as part of a reviewing raid for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

LOVE ENDURES!

(E)
A Tribute to Lasting Love
#1534926 by Jaiam

A sad tale and loving tribute to star crossed lovers who are separated by the sea. In the poem, we can feel her passion for sailing. She yearns for him to join her, but he keeps putting it off.

When the sea takes her for his own, the man is lost without his love. He grieves and can not get over the fact that without her he isn't whole. The only place he can feel her is near the ocean. He finally decides that today is the day that he will join her, and heads out to sea.

This love story is well told in this poem. The rhythm and rhyme crash as the waves of the sea, fluid in rhyme, up and down in rhythm. A good metaphor delivered using those resources.

Overall, I enjoyed reading this poem, and I feel because I could see the ocean waves in the rhythm of the poem itself. It helped to cement the poem and give it life.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3655810

Review of dot. dot. dot.

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

A.M.~~~ back...

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors chosen by me, for participation in a Simply Positive Challenge. This means that I am reviewing you as part of a reviewing raid for "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. I hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing me to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

dot. dot. dot.

(E)
I had to write a sonnet, couldn't find anything to write...
#1709126 by A.M.~~~ back...

Often writer's block tends to catch us when we least expect it. Working through it by creating a poem about that exact thing, is often times therapeutic, at least is has proven so for me in the past.

I found this sonnet to be true of form and nature. I enjoyed the rhythm of the verse as we struggle with the writer to find that muse which helps to dictate our thoughts and dreams to paper.

Overall I enjoyed reading this poem. I could find no error or flaw withing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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330

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#3655805

Review of Raising children without losing yourself

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

artemis53

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Raising children without losing yourself

(E)
Raising children can be a daunting task at Best.
#1838412 by artemis53

This was a most enjoyable experience, reading about a woman who chose to teach, using great establishments that have been set up for enjoyment and learning. Her methods of sharing experiences with her children as they learned and grew together, not only as a family unit, but as individuals, reflect back in how the author has the courage and grace to write this for us all to share.

This well told story was a learning lesson for me as well. We as parents must teach our children. How we choose to teach them can vary in many amazing ways, and can be a growing experience for us as well.

I didn't notice any grammar, spelling or punctuation errors. This is well written, and a story I enjoyed sharing. Thank you.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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331

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#3655790

Review of Christmas Eve

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Brenpoet

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Christmas Eve

(13+)
We pause in silent worship on Christmas Eve....
#1836232 by Brenpoet

A beautiful religious poem of love and spirit which helps to illustrate the true meaning of Christmas through examples of the past, and what the day truly means. This is written with a rhyming pattern that is executed very well throughout. The poem flows smooth and obstacle free throughout the whole.

~I am not 100% positive on this note, however, with the apostrophe in, "winter's", showing ownership, would the word also be capitalized?

Overall, I truly enjoyed this piece and feel it should be showcased somewhere. It was wonderful. The image selected to accompany the poem was well chosen, and compliments it quite well. Thank you for sharing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3655788

Review of In Elysian Fields

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

kim

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

In Elysian Fields

(E)
The horse race of the millenium.-Poetry
#1715036 by kim

This was a poem of rhyme which was read with ease. A nice tale of fabled lore with Pegasus and Shadowfax both in play. This poem shows an alternative to disputes. It shows reasoning and thought put before brute force and competition.

They rhyme of this poem is true and easy to follow. The story within the poem was a lesson for many and very positive. I enjoyed reading this poem due to those two items alone. Well told !

I really enjoyed reading this poem. It had a story to tell that was easy to follow and improved upon with the rhyme. I found the rhyming to be spot on and nothing seemed forced or put there simply to rhyme.

I think the last verse is my favorite. The two adversaries pull together in the end to work as one.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3652076

Review of Lurking Raven

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Dave

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Lurking Raven

(13+)
Death's messenger lurks in this Sonnet for every actor in life's dramatic play.
#1149937 by Dave

Not many authors, or readers, give much thought to placement or alignment, when it comes to poetry. It is my thought that something as simple as where or how you place a poem on the page, can add to its imagery. Poetry is up to the interpretation of the reader. What a poet writes, and the message a reader gets isn't always the same, especially when using metaphors. That being said, aligning a poem to the left of a page may imply unification; all is right in the world. Centering an item so that all the lines are askew, based upon the character count, can have the meaning of chaos and turmoil in life or emotion. Though keep in mind, this is just my personal feelings on the subject, and not all will agree with this. Though, it does give one something to consider.

I really enjoyed the vivid picture that was drawn, due to the imagery created in this tapestry of gloom. I felt the darkness closing in to enshroud.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3650956

Review of Lovesong

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Dear David Cooke

,
I will be reviewing "Lovesong"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Invalid Item"

. Thanks for entering!
This review is done in order to recognize your participation in the contest. We thank you for your continued support.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

With the name being what it is, I new love was in the air, and nothing else permeated my senses. I knew a song about love would be the gift I could read.

How do I feel about the pace and flow?

The pace and the flow was a bit awkward for me. The sporadic punctuation made it difficult for me to find the rhythm. With music this would tell its tale better, though without it, consistent punctuation serves the place of the tunes.

Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this song would benefit from consistent punctuation, as it would serve as a replacement for the actual music.

Overall, this is a beautiful song that I would love to hear the music that accompanies it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

335

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#3650899

Review of In Elysian Fields

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

kim

I will be reviewing "In Elysian Fields"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

This was a poem of rhyme which was read with ease. A nice tale of fabled lore with Pegasus and Shadowfax both in play. This poem shows an alternative to disputes. It shows reasoning and thought put before brute force and competition.

They rhyme of this poem is true and easy to follow. The story within the poem was a lesson for many and very positive. I enjoyed reading this poem due to those two items alone. Well told !

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Simply Positive Review Forum "

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#3646632

Review of Getting around WDC

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Iva Lilly Durham

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

Getting around WDC

(E)
A short piece on getting around WDC
#1676927 by Iva Lilly Durham

This is a very helpful short piece. It shares the experience of a veteran to the site with those who may not know their way around yet it maintains a very personal touch with great inflection of friendliness. It reads as if a conversation between friends.

Reading this, I get the sense of home and family. I find that this is a warming feeling and I am encouraged to follow th direction within.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3644373

Review of The Ugly, Little Tree

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

Dear Harry

,
I will be reviewing "The Ugly, Little Tree"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I find this wonderful poem about love and the spirit of the Christmas holiday, I will tell you, it was pretty easy. I simply clicked on the random review icon. I was wanting to do reviews, but didn't know who or what I was looking for. I was glad to find a friend online, and have the opportunity to review something of yours I had not come across before.

This is quite different from your stories, well in the way that this is poetry. I do find though, that this is more like your storoems, than it is typical rhyming poetry. I really enjoyed it.

ASIN: 1411600649

Poetry For The Common Man

Product Type: Book

Amazon's Price: Price N/A

Buy Now!

How is this different you may ask? Well, to me, each time I read it, the poem was more about the story, and less about the rhyme, and yet each read, the rhythm stayed true and focused. Not so much like a ballad with a set line syllable count, but more as if the story was setting the pace, than the syllables were. The story stands out from the poem, and compliments it, much like a great dish of chef prepared food. Each flavor sings, yet compliments the other.

Overall, I am very pleased to stumble upon this great work today. Thank you for sharing. The Christmas memory and the love and devotion behind the words ring true for the holiday spirit. The love of family and the small things that tend to be remembered forever in the heart are what stand out.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

338

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#3644100

Review of My Angel

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Dear rl

,
I will be reviewing "My Angel"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Invalid Item"

. Thanks for entering!

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

I wasn't quite sure what to expect. I figured there would be some sort of love poetry involved.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

There were a few spots where the punctuation appeared to be in the wrong spot, putting the emphasis on the wrong part of the poem. For instance, I STAND CORRECTED...upon the third read, I finally found the true voice of the poem and it read smooth and true from start to finish.

My overall thoughts:

Sometimes the poems written in love and haste, make the best poetry of all, especially since they contain sentimental attachments.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

339

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#3644087

Review of Heartbeat

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Dear Jimbo

,
I will be reviewing "Heartbeat"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Invalid Item"

. Thanks for entering!

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

Reading the title, brought forth an image of love and anticipation of a poem to resemble it.

How do I feel about the main protagonist?

The metaphor of love to a city was a grand experience. It gave a whole new tapestry to view. I was quite impressed.

Outstanding questions or issues:

Instead of the word wanderas to roam about, it is also possible to substitute the word wonder since you would be wondering of the frontier as well. I found this also interesting and an added bonus.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

The grammar, spelling and punctuation, all appeared to be intact and well in hand.

My overall thoughts:

This poem sang to me. It drew me illustrations and tapestries as I read each line. I could picture a sunset and a grassland leading up to a city of beauty. I enjoyed reading this poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

340

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#3643941

Review of Immortal utopia love

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

Dear Periman

,
I will be reviewing "Immortal utopia love"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this poem. Remember, I am but the reader, the poem is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I am reading.

How did I come across your piece?

I am reviewing your story as a judge for "Invalid Item"

. Thanks for entering!

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

Upon reading this poem, I knew I was in for a treat. Describing love, mich like the scent of a rose, is unique to each and every one. I was eager to see what would be entailed in this masterpiece.

Thoughts on emotion and imagery:

One image that comes through quite clear is that i is not as important as the love that is represented in the poem. Sometimes people will purposely not capitalize I in order to reflect a specific image. Some will do this to represent a low self respect, or lack of respect. Others will do so to throw emphasis on something else in the poem, much as in this case.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

~Some will tell you that punctuation is needed in poetry. Others will argue that it is not needed and makes no difference. Still, there will be those who say it is up to the particular poet and the poem itself. Personally, I feel that the way the verses flow down the page, that punctuation is necessary for this piece. Though without it, the message is still there, it just isn't as strong.

For me, I use to write poetry without any punctuation. Somewhere down the line someone gave me sound advice, and it made sense to me. The punctuation, or lack thereof in a poem, is the direction of the writer, guiding the reader. The punctuation is where the author wishes the reader to take a breath; to contemplate; to pause for dramatic effect. The lack of punctuation says the same thing, "Read in one breath, whether slow, or fast, down the page". To me, punctuation is the direction from the author to the reader. Use it, or don't, to your heart's desire and don't let anyone persuade you otherwise. However, if using it, be consistent throughout the piece. My personal opinion, this poem would benefit from punctuation.

My overall thoughts:

Overall, I felt that consistent punctuation would improve the poem, if only to add some guidance from the author of the poem as far as pace and flow.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3643903

Review of Christmas Eve

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Brenpoet

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

Christmas Eve

(13+)
We pause in silent worship on Christmas Eve....
#1836232 by Brenpoet

A beautiful religious poem of love and spirit which helps to illustrate the true meaning of Christmas through examples of the past, and what the day truly means. This is written with a rhyming pattern that is executed very well throughout. The poem flows smooth and obstacle free throughout the whole.

I am not 100% positive on this note, however, with the apostrophe in, "winter's", showing ownership, would the word also be capitalized?

Overall, I truly enjoyed this piece and feel it should be showcased somewhere. It was wonderful. Thank you for sharing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Simply Positive Review Forum "

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#3642743

Review of A Christmas Without Food

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 13+

| (5.0)

Oldwarrior

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

STATIC

A Christmas Without Food

(13+)
A true story of part of my childhood-gender changed.
#1607486 by Oldwarrior

A wonderful poem consisting of rhyming couplets, which tells a tale of misery and pain. Emotional and physical pain are endured by the lack of caring of others. This is a poem depicting the pain in such a way most will see the lessons withing the lines.

verse 12 of this couplet has one small problem, the improper use of to, it should be too

Overall a great poem and social lesson for all to learn from. This holds many truths and leaves room for learning by many.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

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#3642726

Review of The longing of my soul...

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: ASR

| (5.0)

HAPPY NEW YEAR

mars

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

The longing of my soul...

(ASR)
Quatern written for the "A Poem A Day Contest"
#1830357 by mars

A wonderful poem that gives great contemplation and reflection. I really had to stop and analyze each verse bit by bit to finally see the full meaning. It gave great depth and meaning to the poem as a whole.

In verse two, some may comment that my self should be combined as one word. I disagree with this and see the importance of talking of one's self as if a separate part of the whole.

Overall, this is a wonderful poem that I enjoyed reading. I wouldn't change a thing.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Simply Positive Review Forum "

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#3640948

Review of Like Water on Fire

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: 18+

| (4.5)

Dear ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams

~towards~ represents directional movement or action of time. In speech many people like to take the action words and give them an added syllable "s" to help propel them forward. Already being a word of action, this effort is unnecessary and leads to creating a slang term. This terminology then transfers into our writing. Now, if the piece of writing already contains slang terminology throughout the piece, then this would be acceptable, if not, then I would alter the word to the proper form, as I suggest with this instance. This also happens with forward, afterward, inward, downward, backward, outward, and beside, to name a few. The exception to this is that the British do add the "s" and in so doing are correct for their proper language. So if this is a British writing, then please disregard the comments as coming from this ignorant American

~expected her in the restaurant in Augusta Street...the restaurant would not be in Augusta street, it would be on Augusta street...

~If the attacker is behind her, and she is against the sink, how can she push the attacker against the sink? This part confused me...Using all the force she had inside of her hurt body, she pushed her attacker violently against the sink. I would suggest revisiting this action and changing it. Perhaps if Angela spun around, thus, pinning the attacker against the sink and between her, then the attack would be choreographed correctly.

~This was an interesting tale. It isn't every day that one finds their guardian angel with such fierceness. This is a tale of finding the strength and conviction to protect one's self. A great metaphoric tale.

a ray of sunshine

345

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14 days may be credited.

#3640919

Review of Vlad's Wife

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Dear April Desiree

*Burstp*
The tale of a queen and her despair as she laments on what is to come in this dreadful hour, we find this short story a look into what happen to the king's wife.

*Burstg*
Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

*Burstb*
Overall, a well written piece. I could find no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors that stood out.

a ray of sunshine

346

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14 days may be credited.

#3640917

Review of Vlad's Wife

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Dear April Desiree-I'm back!

The tale of a queen and her despair as she laments on what is to come in this dreadful hour, we find this short story a look into what happen to the king's wife.

Starting a sentence with a conjunction, but, or, and , creates an incomplete sentence for the reader. These three words are coordinate conjunctions used to join sentences or part of sentences that have the same grammatical status. Though the use of conjunctions to start sentences is becoming more of a norm in today's writings, it is still frowned upon in many writing circles. When used with slang terminology, the use of conjunctions to start sentences is a commonality. I have now come across two main circumstances where this happens repeatedly. The first is when the writer is putting to print exactly as they speak, and the other is with addressing or speaking to or for a younger audience.

Overall, a well written piece. I could find no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors that stood out.

347

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#3636675

Review of A Time with a Child

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (4.5)

ladygrace

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

A Time with a Child

(E)
This poem shows how it feels to spend time with a child and give time to be with a child.
#1808258 by ladygrace

A free style poem with a nice format that is attracting to the eye, and complimentary to the poem. Indenting each second line draws attention to the image being created. It focuses the attention of the reader onto the action of the child.

There is a rhyming pattern with this poem, however it falters and is very weak toward the end of the poem.
20 lines:
a,b,c,b
d,e,f,e
g,h,i,j
k,l,m,l
n,o,p,q

the rhyming line in red is indication of a break from the rest of the sequencing. Though this isn't classified as following a certain format, the appearance of doing so, leads others to see it as so.

Overall this is a beautiful piece. I think, if it were me, I would look for some rhyming substitutions to keep with the idea of the poem, but would fit better into the scheme of things.

Keep in mind, you are the writer, and adjusting your creation based on another's suggestions, doesn't necessarily improve the piece. Take some time to think it over and read it aloud a few times. You may just decide to leave it as it stands, and that is fine to. Great poem.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

"Simply Positive Review Forum "

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#3630839

Review of REUNION

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

As I began this sad tale, I envisioned a cloudy day of sadness. This is a story told in a solumn voice and has a great impact on the reader.

I didn't notice any spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors. This is well told and delivers a clear picture.

I found myself sympathizing with the loss, and in the end, finding a smile in the memorial.

349

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14 days may be credited.

#3629553

Review of MID LIFE CRISIS

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE GROUP

Rated: E

| (5.0)

Meg

You have been selected as one of the lucky authors to be spotlighted at "Simply Positive Review Forum "

. That means that this week, many of our group members will be by your port to review this item. We hope you find the reviews useful, if only to find out how well this particular item is received. Sit back and enjoy the feedback and attention. You deserve it.

First of all, let me Thank You, for allowing us to review your work. Remember that reviews are the opinions of those reading, and ultimately, the choice is yours on whether or not you choose to alter your item based on the input of others.

MID LIFE CRISIS

(E)
What would you do if you had to go through it all again?
#1221079 by Meg

In rhythmic fashion you deliver an interesting look at aging and how middle age is no longer mid-life. I liked the image created. I found it made me laugh.

The rhyming couples were all a breeze with the exception of fifty to pity. The couple is close so works, but it is a little rough.

Overall this is a great piece, and I enjoyed reading it.

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

a ray of sunshine

350

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14 days may be credited.

#3625046

Review of Stuck On You

Review by ~WhoMe???~

In affiliation with JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM T...

Rated: E

| (3.5)

Dear Summer Wind is Healing

,
I will be reviewing " Stuck On You"

for you today. I hope you can gather some useful information from the review, even if it is just to find out whether or not I enjoyed reading this story. Remember, I am but the reader, the writing is yours and you alone can decide if anything should be altered. I can merely offer my advice and opinions on what I am reading. My intentions are pure, to never do harm, only offer my opinions and views on what I see.

How did I come across your piece?

You requested some reviews of this item from the "JUST BECAUSE I WANT TO FORUM CLOSED 4NOW"

! I am here to complete one of these reviews for you. Others should follow soon.

Thoughts and expectations from the title:

The title alone would have been a great deception, or misleading tactic, had the author not included the subtext. I do however feel the sub, gives too much away, and thus takes away from the humor of the story.

How do I feel about the pace and flow?

The time sequencing of the story seemed dead on to me. There was no spot that had me confounded and wondering what just happened. The story revealed itself in at a natural pace with the car ride.

Thoughts on any conflict and / or resolution:

Mary being "emotionally exhausted" by this ordeal was a bit too much for me. Perhaps being perplexed and unsure of what else to do, she tries to ignore the situation, and close her eyes, as if not seeing it, the problem doesn't exist. However, being emotionally exhausted over such a thing, sounds like she has more issues than is being revealed in the story, and for me, didn't work.

Are there any technical issues I want to query?

~crown of his head were was a...
~ Mary stared in amazement[.], [I]t seemed...
~She gazed up at Mark[,] who...
~[the] rhythm of the song...
~ noise circled her head[,] and she...
~ in the windowsill,windshield...
~give me my hair ointment[creme or gel]?"
~"That’s not hair ointment[creme or gel], on your hair Mark! It says, its fly ointment!”

My overall thoughts:

Overall the story went quite well. I felt that the impact of the humor was diminished by the title subtext. Along with that, there was one other problem, that though grammatically acceptable, was driving me crazy, and it was the following:
~He turned on to the freeway and pulled into the far lane, and passed everyone speeding down the highway. Mark pushed his foot down on the accelerator, and increased the speed up to another 25 miles per hour..

and this and that ...very distracting... followed by down and down...repetition...here is my solution or work around

He turned on to the freeway, quickly maneuvering to the far lane, and passed everyone speeding along the highway. Mark pushed his foot down on the accelerator, and increased the speed up to another 25 miles per hour
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .

Overall a decent story, that is in need of some fine tuning.
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