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712 Public Reviews Given
729 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I try my best to read everything on Writing.com with great care. My reviews always include a first impression, my feelings about theme and structure and where appropriate, some thoughts about possible revisions.*Mugr*
I'm good at...
I give my best reviews on stories, poems and articles that hold my interest and stir up my emotions.~~ *Smile*
Favorite Genres
Religious/Spiritual,Romance, Historical, Mystery, Fantasy and Sci-Fi.~~ *Cool*
Least Favorite Genres
Erotica and Vampire/Werewolf/Zombie.
Favorite Item Types
Short Stories, Poems, Articles and Essays. ~~
Least Favorite Item Types
lessons and puzzles. ^^*Mugr*
I will not review...
Will not review anything with a rating over 18; no horror or erotica.^^*Mugr*
Public Reviews
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1
1
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
May 2023 Raid Image


Hello Tim Chiu , I selected "May Your Heart Know Love"  from your portfolio to read and review, as part of the "WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 's May Review Raid.
Thank you for your support of the Writing.com community!

May 20, 2023


*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
To love is to love love. It is a pinnacle of life experience. Some say that love has failed. So it may seem. But the question is was it a love that ascends beyond the petty and dismissive to the bonded, wedded, submissive heart kind of love. Not just in one soul, but in both hearts together creating life in every smile, grimace, and laugh. The peaks and valleys of love. The spellbinding, amazing, peaceful wonder of love. For those who have attained such bliss, the world is less virtual and more real, moment by sweet sanctified moment.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
There is a love that transcends the mundane. There is a love that transcends the horrors. There is a love that brings two hearts together to be meshed into each other's soul for the pure understanding of the other. One serves. Another receives. And then the roles are reversed and it is not just a flat-line endurance of life but an ever rising spiral of love, respect and joy forever more.
 

*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"May Your Heart Know Love"  is a poem written in free form with the beauty of a first person monologue. The images of windswept valleys, views from a perch and peaceful wonder, help the flow of some of the more ethereal revelations of what love is.

*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I gaze in amazement at life down below and experience
A true sense of calm and peaceful wonder.
Your delight in my transcendentalized being
Must surely be intentional; I am quite uniquely absorbed
In your trust and guidance. "

A great joy in my life is to be living this reality out every moment of every day. When I am with my love, she is heartened by my calm and peaceful wonder of what God has done me, and for us together. She gives back the greatest measure of trust and counsel my heart could ever hope for and there is more than I can take in of the pleasure that rushes in.

*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Every word sang to me. My soul is refreshed. Thank You!

*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"Make Your Dreams Come True"  declares that there is a love that is majestic, and superbly regal. It is a committed love where even the understanding of it all is in reach. There is love. The hope of love. The understanding of love. We are knitted together in love, often times more than we know.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*


(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 05.20.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
2
2
Review of Thanks God!  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings A*Monaing*Faith , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Thanks God!"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

May 14, 2023
*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Where does our hallowed meditation begin? In wonder? In confusion? In hope of a moment with the Creator of all things? Perhaps. But a few thoughts passing in the presence of our Father, and it becomes clear that we are because of Him. Then it is our praise that begins to flow up. Why? The Lord answers that inquiry in Isaiah 43:21 He has given us all of His good that we would be His people, "...the people whom I (God) formed for myself that they might declare my praise." In the music of this poem is the hymn of praise to the God I serve, and I find joy in how much wonder there is in the act of reading and writing an ode of thanks to the Lord Most High. Adonai.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Praise and thanksgiving.  Much of the human experience may not seem praise worthy, but when we look into the Book, God's precious words of life, we understand that every experience, good or bad, is praise worthy. To give thanks in the midst of every trial and temptation is true sacrifice. In each word I hear the voice of one who willed themselves to overcome each major challenge life has afforded.

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Thanks God!"  is written in free form with many varied rhythms and rhymes that hint at a pattern, but the words and thoughts are not bound to any one particular scheme. 

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Minutiae I offer,
for Your delight;”

Everything that mankind brings to God is out of our heart of love for Him. Sometimes the offering is the thought of Him, the thanks to Him, even a sacrificial moment of joy brought to Him. We are His workmanship made for worship and praise, and in the middle of my most mundane task I can find my smile is for Him and Him alone. Small, but a tangible treasure in the courts of eternity.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I loved your poem just as it is written. Thank You. *Smile*


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Thanks God!"  proclaims the journey a soul takes in finding a way of thanksgiving to the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 05.14.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
3
3
Review of Driftwood  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings a Sunflower in Texas , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Driftwood"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Near the sea. By the incoming wash of sultry waves. Where I would like to be. Where adventures proceed along the path of life where I have exerted myself to slide into my routine. But something is different today. The immediate washing of toes and sandals maybe is only a moment of the journey, for the storms reshape everything, speak a language that rightly terrifies those who watch out for us. Those who see the clouds, hear a new sound in the ocean's roar; are they just alarmists or do the waves truly rise to heights 30 feet above our bodies? And then a prize. Something to imagine into a wonderful trophy from a place far away from here.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The walk on a hurricane swept beach encourages the walker to muse about the aftermath of a transforming storm. There is something once stately and strong, uprooted and dying. There is dangerous debris. There is the beauty of just being a part of something that may have originated from the headwaters of a far away island.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Driftwood"  Written in free form prose, with images and rolling rhythm tells a story filled with the sounds and vibrations of a lonely, littered stretch of peaceful coastline. In the lyric are interactions with the "dunes," "sea," "coconuts," "starfish," and "refuse." In the debris in the wake of present and past storms are a "leafless tree," "sewage syringes," and "driftwood." The scope of the prose is inspirational for those who no longer find adventure in the wonder of nature. The pictures from each line have unique meaning. And at the same time tie the whole landscape together beautifully.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“The trees, now driftwood, so smooth to touch,
from far away places, washed clean of debris
must come home with me. A craft idea will come
from the land and the seas and my pieces of driftwood.”

Yes. This is the ending. It could just as well be the beginning. Taking a walk through the passage ways of my soul, I could have lighted on many such places of "slurpy steps," gems from another place and time, leafless trees, and dangerous debris. Its all in there. Every walk may be a metaphor for life now lived. Over. Yet, finding something new that lets me know, there are creative moments still in me to enjoy with the great energy of my youth.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I liked the varying line lengths and tempos in your prose. I am pleased with the way you've woven a story into a poem with many textures, sounds and images. Write on!


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Driftwood"  awakens my imagination to the rewards waiting a stroll out into my usual routine. I will need a dose of expectation though. It is possible to come across newly reshaped landscapes with a few simple gifs to take home. For me, it has been people. Treasures. Lately, I have been more and more surprised by the beautiful encounters I have with family and friends. More love. More genuine care and compassion has shown up all around me. What was once just routine walks on familiar beaches, often alone in my soul, now has all the possibility of being filled with wonder and the reward of love. Life is never static.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
4
4
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings turtlemoon-dohi , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Walking Between Raindrops"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers


March 22, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Exquisite images and flow, sets this poem in my soul's parlor front window. Here I could sit for hours listening to the fresh sounds of my native language. I know no other. So I am enriched when visited by gentle prose with no more demand on me than to enrich my quiet moments of reverie. Oh yes. I am selfish that way.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Thoughts take off on a journey of adventure to experience the fullness of fall. It's colors, sounds and smells momentarily covered by a mist that the mind expertly whisks away. What is experienced is a moment walking in the beauty of all that is good and holy about creation.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Walking Between Raindrops"  is written in "free form" allowing the flow of the sounds to have a special life in the music the words create. The rhythm is never frantic, and the pace is easily set by how my imagination wants to revel in all the author offers to contemplate.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Fast trekking
released an earthy perfume
stirring and blending impressions to pique all senses”

I encouraged my soul to push along at a quicker pace as these words inspired a desire to taste the essence of what was being released from the forest. Is this where I actually grew up? How did I not drink it in? Why did I squander the moments to try and impress Candy Jenkins at the Frostie Freeze? She would have never understood the passion that would awaken in me for the land of my birth. The perfume. The colors. The chorus of life, never touched by human hands. Pure. Unsullied.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Perfection.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Walking Between Raindrops"  celebrates one of the places a mind of extraordinary imagination can go, and paints a picture of a moment when everything is wondrous, glorious, sensual and not easily put away. Was it just something that visited me out of the mist of my youth? No. Its a living part of my soul. Thank you for reminding me to be on more walks with my soul.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
5
5
Review of Spring  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Sharon , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Spring"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

Sweet memories of a "near spring" in Gig Harbor materializes in the words of your poem, as I recall a getaway to the blessed community of retirees, arts, sailing and family. Gig Harbor. There were quiet walks through the park and the marina. A stroll through the Harbor History Museum and an amazing Burger at "The Gourmet Burger Shop." We bought a "spring flag" at a boutique, then dodged as much rain as possible, as we dashed to our car. Loved it then. Love it still, though only a memory now. The early blooming flowers were spectacular. Memorable. Your words cast an amazing vision, where gardens were filled with more evergreens than bare naked sticks and branches. Missouri.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Every spring, near a beautiful harbor, there is the great expectation that warmth, eternal blue skies and robust colors in every garden would declare the passing of winter forever. But winter won't always let go without its last kisses of frost and gale.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Spring"  is written with a lot life in its form, rhythm and rhymes. The last line of each stanza rhymes with the last word in the following line. Every line, except the second to the last line contains 8 syllables. Within this form the poem keeps a spritely tone and is pleasant to read.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Spring's arrived, but winter stays
to cool the air for those who play”

I never noticed micro climates until I moved to Washington. I worked in Queen Anne where spring would arrive in force long before March 20th, but at home, in Shoreline, just 12 miles away, spring never arrived until May! Gig Harbor was brilliant and warm the day we arrived in the middle of February, and snowing a day later when we left. But the beauty of it all? Oh my the exquisite beauty no matter the season. In the Midwest? - We pray fervently for spring!

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I loved your poem just as it is written. Thank You. *Smile*


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Spring"  declares that the breezes, and freezes, and momentary warmth, lost in a rain filled wind are all part of what keeps the soul on edge waiting for spring. It is in the flowers, that the glorious promise of spring resides. To see them is a lift to even the chilliest of hearts!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
6
6
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings PENsive is Meemaw x 3! , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "The Miracle of Friends"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

I am also pleased to review your work as part of the March WDC Super Power Reviewer's Group Raid!
Shared for Superpowers

March 22, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

It is good to remember how blessed we are to have friends in our lives. Whether they sit with us after our surgery, or take care of the many things that are put on hold during recovery, friends are a gift from heaven. Being a friend of help and support is a joy, as well, and while there is always the giving and receiving, all are blessed as the relational bonds grow in strength.  

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
A mom must go into rehab. Her child Jeffrey, reticent to be away from his mom, is finally convinced by a good friend, to be a part of their family for the time it takes mom to recover. The road to building trust and acceptance with Jeffrey is a central part of how much the mom is served by her friends, in her recovery.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"The Miracle of Friends"  is told in a first person narrative style, but from the perspective of her friends and Jeffrey. The dialogue is honest and helps move the story in a clear, objective manner. The mom's voice is most evident when she speaks of what Jeffrey is experiencing. Mom's know, sometimes even when we, as children, don't exactly know what is going on.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“She turned to leave the building with Stephen, and started towards the door. She took a few steps when she heard a couple of running steps on the linoleum floor and then felt a couple of gentle tugs on the hem of her dress. She turned, facing little Jeffrey once again. He looked up at her, not saying anything.”

I love children. It has been a journey to obtain love and satisfaction when being in their company. But this scene rings so true. What I may see as minor adjustments in attitude and emotional intelligence in a child, is actually huge! When the barriers to creating friendships cannot be overcome without the gentle nudge of a loving adult, loving adults need to step up. The kindness of Stephen's mom will be remembered by Jeffrey all the rest of his life because she helped to overcome a fear that would have only served to keep him alone and disconnected from life, probably for the rest of his life.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Very well done. I look forward to reading your next entry in the story.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"The Miracle of Friends"  is a story from the heart of one who is both healing but at the same time rejoicing. Giving thanks for friendships and the specific ways friendship come "to the rescue," is a healing tonic in itself. The story expresses the wonder of seeing ones' child accepted, loved and encouraged at the point when it is most critical for both mother and son. With every reading I was reminded to be thankful for the friends who have been my solace in times of struggle and pain. Thank you.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼


GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.22.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
7
7
Review of Another day given  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Inspirational Work Of Praise *Horse*


Good Morning G. B. Williams , I have enjoyed your writing and was pleased to read  "Another day given"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review. As an exceptional inspirational poem, I am nominating it as "The Most Inspirational Poem" of the month. I am glad you make such a great contribution to WDC.

March 15, 2023


*Books6*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 

The goodness of God is every where. The goodness is especially evident in the "day given." It is in the day given to us by God that we find a voice to praise Him. We discover the words that exalt Him. We discover the reasons to take more time to be exuberant and celebratory of how much He loves us and cares for us. Your words inspire. Your words elevate my thoughts to the realm where God is Sovereign over everything that ever was, and is and will be. Thank you for given so much of yourself into crafting this wonderful song of praise.

*Bookstack2*  THEME
 
God is everything. We can know that God is in all, and above it all, because of the day that He has given. Considering the ferocity of natural forces, the wonder of seasons, and the "feet" on which I stand at the dawning of the day, praise is the desire of this day, and every day. Praise to the One who has gifted us with many days, and then eternity.

 
*Books1*  STRUCTURE
 
"Another day given"  is written in free form couplets that emphasize the Lordship of God Almighty, in contrast to some of the toughest seasons we may experience in life. The cadence of the verses is bright, and the images inspire one to consider not just the forces that stand up to resist our desire for peace and tranquility, but to give praise to the God who will help us to prevail from now through the new life in heaven.
 
*Books3**Bookstack*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Life feels just right and as it should be, and I am awake and on my feet.
Another day given.”

Nothing can dull our senses to the goodness of God, if we consider that God gives us a new day. Until the Lord Jesus calls His bride up from this earth to be with Him, the saints of God will, even in giving their lives for others, enjoy the beauty of His presence which makes every day, bright, beautiful and a joy to live.


*Books2*  SUGGESTIONS
 

I loved the poem just as you have created it. Thank you.

*Books1**Books1*  IN SUMMARY*Bookstack3*

"Another day given"  celebrates the Glorious God of Heaven and earth; the Maker of all things and the Lord of all things. The center of the work is a concentration on where our praise for the God Israel arise. We are His creation and it is He that puts us on our feet to run into the day with exuberant praise. Truly the words and images inspire the heart to hope in the Great I Am!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*

Please Visit ▼


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WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.15.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
8
8
Review of Talking Story  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings fyn , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Talking Story"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

March 9, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
I love history, mist-ory, myth-story, threads of time collapsing on a junior in high schooler, wondering if he would ever enjoy the pondering of Babylonians, Assyrians, Persians and Greeks. Oh..did I leave out the Egyptians and my dearest Hebrews, children of Abraham? I could map it, time line it and thanks to old movies and TV I could even imagine it. Two threads emerge, and I find those threads in my own nature, empire building and war. Whether its Babylon's rise to conquer everything or the cattlemen against the sheep farmers of the old west, who rules is determined by the peasant's blood.

After we attain such revelations about "tapestries," "destinies," "bloodlines," "patterns," and "our stories," what then. Aha! Teach the lessons, accumulate the lessons and never ever ever forget.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
It is paramount to learn history, even if, with time, it gets tangled into a nearly incomprehensible jumble of facts, non-facts, new facts, hard facts and soft facts. Then, when all seems absolutely misty clear, one may act out in a way that demonstrates history is our friend, because as our friends, friend history, we have a solid foundation of reason to have fund the most colossal arsenal on earth to protect our American treasure! Maybe I'll sleep well tonight. Hmmm. Maybe I won't.

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Talking Story"  is a unique free form poem written in four line stanzas. The rhyme in each verse is created by the repeating of the same word at the end of line 2 and 4. The meter begins with the first verse using 8 syllables in each line. This opens up in the following verses, with a wider selection of rhythm from line to line.

The words, images, tone and pace of the prose is appealing and it is easy to be caught up in both the theme and the music of the piece.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Mists swirl the myths of time
into threads new tapestries to weave.
Ancient bloodlines draw yet new tales
so it is and so we weave.”

I like that the first line of this verse flips around the words of the opening line of the poem to present a whole new vision of how the threads of history are woven out of myth, and the legacy of one generation left for the next. Also, the bloodiness of what was, somehow now has become a bloodline. As suddenly kings appear and individual nations are carved out of empires, what must be told to the populace to peacefully separate the royal from the common? And then poof! They too, nearly all, disappear.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I think this is perfect the way it has been written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Talking Story"  encourages the ponderer to ponder some more. What am I taking away from my history studies? Since search engines have become highways to instant libraries, I now know more about President Eisenhower's war record, and years as president than ever before. I am swept into every battle that was fought in the Boer wars and the Crimean. Have we learned then from these conflicts, the rise of one power over another and the fading away of a nation? I'll not make a politically biased comment here, I'll just say I'm an ancient warrior whose time of service has not ended and I'll be hyper vigilant tonight!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
9
9
Review of Take me away  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Starr , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Take me away"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

March 9, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

 We could be seeking the pastoral, uncomplicated regions of the country. Leave behind the stress, and mayhem of a shoulder to shoulder existence. The village life perhaps; where the nearest drama and chaos is twenty miles away. There is a land of "far...far...away!" There is a land where trees dance in the breeze. I call it Missouri, but any place on earth where the clog of humanity gets untangled might serve as a place to establish a homestead. A homestead where ponds abound with fish and fowl, forests protect birds and rabbits, squirrels and deer thrive. Some might say, "is the serene quiet worth the sacrifice of not living sandwiched between other living souls?" *Smirk2*

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
It is time to fly away to the open expanses of the undeveloped lands. There are plenty of those, though the city-bound-economically trapped souls of the urban colossus would lie and say that the amount of natural preserve is extremely limited (diminishing) - "not making anymore" - But the suspicious heart buckles up for the great exploration and jumps out beyond the big city lights to experience acre after acre of uncorrupted natural beauty. Will I answer the call of the open fields, mountains, woods and meadows? The Lord God who made it all definitely bids me come. Then its "Settle down my son. Settle in."
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Take me away"  is a free form poem written in 8 stanzas of various lengths. The lines too are in free form. The flow is graceful and the words blend sounds and rhythm in a meter that is easy to embrace. Words like: "breeze," "serenity," "peace," "soothe," and "gaze," brings the poem to a graceful, joyful conclusion.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I want to go where the whippoorwill calls

Feel all the mist cascading off the waterfalls

Feeling the grass underhand

Reacquainting myself with the land.”

I have had this joy. I abhorred the "sticks" as my city friends called it when I was growing up. My bedroom, only a few hundred feet from Everett's pond, was always filled with the sounds of croaking bull frogs, crickets, red-winged black birds and blue jays. When the cow was past milking or couldn't get untangled from the briar patch, she'd pierce the evening serenity with her bawling howls. Ironic that after twenty years working in Seattle I would crave it again. But I thank God, I knew the way back. I am restored to life again.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
This was the perfect treat for me today. I will revisit your words from time to time to remind myself what I have been blessed with now, and what price I paid to arrive here. Thank you.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Take me away"  puts some demands on the soul, the mind and spirit of mankind to consider the price one pays for living the "good life" in the big city compared to the restful, peaceful, serene possibilities of the transforming life of being wedded to nature and all that is naturally good. One cannot help taking to heart the admonition of the poet that proximity to what has been naturally created is a much greater benefit to one's life than the congestive, heart-stopping pace of the city.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
10
10
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Bagv*HAPPY HAPPY GLORIOUS THURSDAY!!*Bagv*


Greetings Anna Marie Carlson , Happy Thursday! I was pleased to read  "Dreams of Being A Princess"  through the "Read and Review" application and delighted to give your writing a review. Thank you for being a delightful contributor to writing.com.

March 9, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION

 "Happily ever afters," do come true, if we are able to dream. Is it every girl's dream to be a princess? I think it should be, so I will agree with you. It is indeed every girls dream. There should be a prince, and a castle and every kind of servant to meet the needs of her royal highness. Let those who fail to realize this incredible dream hold their peace. For some, for the incredibly blessed, this dream is not a fantasy, it is a most exquisite, delightful reality.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
A princess has been born! Well actually she was dubbed princess by the one who came to repair the television set. How one is elevated to princess is not really relevant, if the dream matches the proclamation. In every sense, some girls are just ready to be royalty, and it is up to the prince to wake up to the responsibility he has to be the love of his "one and only's" life!
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Dreams of Being A Princess"  is a tantalizing story with a bit of satirical warmth, told from the first person perspective of the main character. The entire story is dotted with icons to emphasize each image of the story. Once the girl's royalty is established, she takes on the joyous task of describing all that must be set in motion for the sake of her status as "princess."
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

" Let's see, what does it take to be a princess that everyone can look up to and admire? If you were fortunate enough to find a genie in a bottle, one of the wishes a girl 👧 could make is to be a princess. Living in a beautiful castle, she could wear fancy clothes, attend a masquerade ball, support a charity of her choice, or be anybody that she wanted to be.”

Once one is anointed princess, it is kind of her highness to consider other ways girls can become princesses. Her royalty has not blinded her to the care and concerns of her people. Yes, she wears elegant jewelry, gorgeous gowns while attending sumptuous parties, but all the while, she is extravagantly kind to the poor, being a charitable person supporting those of less regal standing. I love living in an age where such largess of the royal class has been well documented and lauded.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed this story just the way it was written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Dreams of Being A Princess"  reminds us that the call to be a princess may be a higher calling than we could ever imagine. I was reminded, though I needed little help, that I have been blessed to be married to a princess. I have been her prince for 47 years, and we are just getting started!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 03.09.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
11
11
Review of Turtlegrove  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings William Stafford , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Turtlegrove"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
I do hope you complete the story. I was compelled to read the story because Turtlegrove Missouri, if it did exist, would probably be less than 100 miles from where I live in Southwestern Missouri. Coming from an urban west coast environment, small town everything is new and lovely, if not sometimes bewildering.

I imagine Turtlegrove is a snap shot of what I have experienced in most of the farm communities around my home, and the characters are just fine. I mean, just fine, as how gold and emeralds, are just fine.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
An emerging journalist, who is about to leave his teen years behind, gets his first big assignment. As the story progresses we discover the subject of young David's first article has a secret. Since she has advanced in age to the century mark, wouldn't this be the time to share her secret? Even though it might be too much for sublime Turtle Grove to handle? I'll, tell you, I wish I knew!
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Turtlegrove"  is written with an omniscient point of view and conveys the story in an easy, entertaining narrative. Each character of the story is brought to life in great detail, and the lack of urgency to create a firm foundation to the story is a welcome change from the frenetic beat of "modern"/ "Post Modern" fiction. Each word and image is a treat.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“She could easily enjoy an uneventful interview with a young and naive reporter. Or, she could give him the story of his life, possibly exposing herself to danger even at her old age and most certainly causing a media storm if the young reporter would decide to print what he learned. ”

As Martha Berm's character is introduced, the beauty of the melodic pace of the narrative is directly, and vividly leading the reader into a twist to our expectations. Descriptive words of how she takes on her day invites the reader a peek into her life as it is routinely lived. It seems to be just like the other folk in Turtle Grove, filled with purposeful repetitions from the day before, embedded habits, and sleepy community. But Martha is a woman who has nurtured a deep, dark, dangerous secret that none of the other townspeople know of. In this moment, as the real nature of the story opens up, I am a bit more than stunned at the incredible surprise Martha is, and will be to those who have known of her, all their lives.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Everything was beautifully written in my estimation. There will be a few readers who would insist on more "showing" than "telling" and less passive voice, but I think when the writing is strong, the words and images well chosen, those suggestions are pedaling devices that only enable lazy readers. The magic is in the words. You got 'er done! Well done.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Turtlegrove" , a small town marvel in the middle of Missouri, has an up and coming reporter who may get the interview of a life time; and from a most unsuspected source. Hold on readers of the Turtlegrove Gazzette! Martha may be spilling her secrets, even if it costs her everything, even her life! How will this story end? Tune into your "Emerson manual dial radio" for the exciting reveal!  *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
12
12
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Benjamin Black , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Fly Free My Pretty Monkey"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Is gravity loosened just for the sake of monkeys, or are they just a figment of my imagination? Monkeys are not a solution to my inner pain, but aren't they the ones to gather the mirth, and riddles I need to keep the Haters away. The Haters try to confuse my notions of identity, and I bite on the hook they put before me thinking it is my life that has no value, no worth, no possibilities.

If I could just set the monkeys free. If they could just take wing like birds, surely my war against death could continue.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Where abuse lives without restraint, the victim dies a thousand times. Why does the imagination then press on to form its own declaration about what has killed the soul it must live with? Maybe there is never enough death to stop the drinking in of both the poison and the cure.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Fly Free My Pretty Monkey"  is a poem with an interesting structure where two lines are coupled and a third, punctuates the images with a free form line until the four lined fourth verse where the first three lines rhyme and the last line rhymes with the last line of the third.

I wrote all that to say that I found the structure liberating as the words and images convey the notions of being bound to the ruling class haters of the world, while wanting freedom to fly no matter what the cost. The structure helps the various tones resonate well with both the darker images of "bullet deep," "throat like sand," and "kill to feel," and the lighter images of "free like birds," "monkeys fly," and a "wind alibi."

 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“To soar so high above the sky
With wind your only alibi ”

I had to search my heart to know if I had actually experienced this couplet. I think most certainly in a real sense I have. It was on a Freedom Bird, lifting out of Ben Hoa Vietnam, June 19th 1969; I made it out of the war alive after 18 months. If there was an alibi involved it would have been blowing out of the 4 jet engines of a Boeing 707.

As a metaphor, it would be the day I discovered my best girl had another man. I loved her for taking on more than I could handle; I never felt so liberated, as the gray lines of the sky blew winds up Bennet Valley Road against my back. How often do you just get to walk away with no regrets?

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed the words and images of your poem. I think it was perfect just the way it was written.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Fly Free My Pretty Monkey"  provokes the soul to examine what happens when seemingly life hates you. Certainly life has some cohorts to make the conflict have some tactile meaning, but how can I separate what death has put on me from the only escape path I am allowed. For a moment I thought the path was a bullet, or just the dehydrating of my heart. Then the monkey's take to the sky and it all becomes crystal clear. I am free at last!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
13
13
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Spiritual Dawning , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Alone In The Fields"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 24, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Lyrical words, like an old tune from the '50s takes me to the rolling hills of manzanita and sage, where my soul could be opened up and revealed to the birds above me or the lizard lazing on hot rocks. Green eyed boy, I was a wallop to nature's back side back then, but cutting away from my studies at the end of spring, '66, I struck a bargain between nature and myself. I would move away one day, and the farmlands would never let me forget.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The place a poet belongs is found in the fields outside a village, with a bit of breeze and a friendly sun. The church brings the song as its bells ring, and birds are about the fields and peace reigns.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Alone In The Fields"  is a poem written in couplets with a nice easy rhythm and rhyme.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“It is here that I dwell, here that I rest
Alone in the country, oh my it's the best.”

How many years I fought the notion of the under developed lands that were my home. Those who would have been my peers fled to the cities. The ones who remained frowning sullen and weary with the toil of work and family. After years in the towers of the financial hubs of the world, in the clammer and grind of earning more wealth than should be legally allowed, the bells of my serene village now soothe away the grit of climbing the corporate ladders. Today, though the northland breathes out icy winds against my body, I will embrace the fields and woodlands once more.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word of your poem. I believe it is complete in every way.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Alone In The Fields"  is an ode to what was once mine, and then given up. Too little appreciation for what God creates, led me to a non-life. My return is celebrated in the words and music of this sweet work of prose. Thanks for a little more rest in my day.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(101x3@021515)
(101x4@111615)_(100x6 031820)_(100x7 020923)
 (YCM_@122313) 02.24.23
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
14
14
Review of Unlabeled  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Smartie , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Unlabeled"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 23, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
A step back to an uncertain time, I meet myself on the road to finding love, but held up all along the way by how interactions, love actions, hostile actions were labeled. In the wandering, interminable waiting for clarity, there is always this part of me that wanted something more. She couldn't define it without showing more of her vulnerability. I couldn't express the turmoil inside when I saw her, or missed her, or almost forgot about her in the work of staying alive.

Above us, each night, hung the question, "are we alright?" I think I said something reassuring, she gave me a gift. It's been 47 years now. We are one.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Will friendship remain through all of the heartache relationships can experience? Can we be back to normal? There always seems to be a price to pay to be in relationships and one of those prices is not knowing moment by moment if there is a normal, and are we in that beautiful zone, or are we somewhere else.

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Unlabeled"  is written in free form prose with short glimpses of wonder and speculation. The imagery is conceived through thoughts and imaginings that remain ethereal except for the solid image of "gifts" and "talking"
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I wish you could tell me
As I am getting dizzy
Going back and forth
Not knowing”

The label that wants to be put on the relationship seems to be revealed. I've only been dizzy for one other person in my life and it was because of the passion that would rise and fall in our relationship. At a point where I thought all was lost, five years into our marriage, I stood in the middle of a street, nearly out of my mind with dizzy. I knew in my heart she was gone, but then we had been so close to this moment before. I couldn't go home for not knowing. Yet, I had to know. That moment has gone unlabeled for many, many years, until now.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word. Thank you!


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Unlabeled"  poetically inspires a memory of how lost one can be when a relationship refuses to be defined. Even when the cultural, societal, laws and boundaries are applied to define what is normal, the emotional reality within a relationship is that all of that stuff doesn't matter. Only an open heart can cry out to another for love, and normalcy. Will all human effort close the distance between two friends? How desperate the soul can be in the unlabeled moments of love. Beautiful.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.23.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
15
15
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Smartie , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Depiction of Guiding Spirit"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 18, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
With extremely strong images, a picture of the spirit world all around us is brought into a clearer, more focused view. There are sights and sounds that stir up images from my own wonder years, hoping to find something significant in every breeze getting through my makeshift tree fort, always disturbing the carbon copies of drawings I wanted to recreate. Then, a disease hits and then there are the moments when movement was impossible and recovery was spent watching mom's soap operas and game shows.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The poem takes on the thoughts that have a random pattern sometimes, but then suddenly make a picture of how it was to be in a moment of time. It is almost like awakening in the arms of a guiding spirit. Some angelic in nature, some positively not.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Depiction of Guiding Spirit"  is written in a prose form keeping the rhythm and tone open to any image that may find its place in the stream of writing, be they thoughts, memories or multiple time points.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“The splintered fence boards, bent and twisted

the product of childhood rough-housing

A game of charades with post-nap movement

The building blocks played with by a child

stacked and rearranged, new blueprints every hour”

When visiting actual places in time where remain scars, and deformities, there is probably a reason for being there. After all there are always reasons why we acted out as a child, despite the hurts and pains that became monuments to childlike folly. As words connect with a now moment, sitting at my computer, pounding out the legacy of three quarters of a century on earth, all I have left to do is smile, and enjoy what was done unhindered by the giants in the spirit that opposed my growth, my assimilation of knowledge, and my search for love.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word. There is great space in the images to see my own life. Thank You. A rare treat.




*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Depiction of Guiding Spirit"  is a rare ballad that gives my soul license to imagine something the artist may have never intended. It invites a revisit where what I saw in this hour, may be completely different years from now. Beautifully done!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313) (02.18.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
16
16
Review of Redland's Revenge  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" *Boat2*



Hello Moonstone ,  I am so glad that you are a committed contributor to Writing.com’s wonderful community! Thank you for your informal request for a review. I was pleased to read  "Redland's Revenge"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.

February 9, 2023

*Books1*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
One is not often given the opportunity to visit the grim reality of the educational world of an all boys school. But when one can make the journey, at least in a vivid tale with extraordinary characters, one should get into it.

Remember the institution called middle school? The place where teacher's rule and administrators execute justice. Where the students had, what one might called, a secondary kingdom all their own? I remember that there were times of great power struggles, and then, of course, the pain of capitulation and submission. And I remember too, the over arching equalizer for both kingdoms: "what grades did we, as students, actually earn?"

If a teacher can't teach and a student can't learn, the school is just a "care giving institution" so that parents can have freedom to do what they do!

Ahhh, so the story goes, and Welcome to Redland Academy's seventh grade science class, where boys will be boys; and where science hardly ever has a place in the day to day transformation of those boys, into men.
 
*Books2*  HEART INSPIRED
 
For Robin, the task of learning seventh grade science has taken a bad turn. Through some outrageous events, Robin's mother sets in motion a revolution. And as mother's go with their somewhat demanding ways, she could easily raise her palms up and outward and claim, "no responsibility here boys!" But wasn't she the one that got the tutor, which led to study groups, which led to Noah's science notebook being destroyed, and...well, it goes on with great and glorious energy.

The story becomes an inspirational tale of how one event can lead to others, and others, and ultimately helps build a man out of a boy with enough fortitude to shake up the establishment.
 
*Books3*  SPECIAL ELEMENTS
 
The dialogue is strong and true. The action of the story, recounted from a first person narrative, suits the world of the story's pre-teen boys. The interaction between the teacher and the boys is spot on, and the depiction of how hungry the boys become to learn science and get good grades in their tests was elevating and hopeful.
 
*Bookopen**Bookopen*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
These were a few of my favorite sentences:

“I began, 'Well, Mr. Parriott was talking about something--"

'What was he talking about?' My mother interrupted.

'Girls.' I cringed at the word. Since starting a boys' school, I have rarely hung out or even been around girls other than my mother.

'Girls? Why?' Her voice was curious, but also worried.

'I dunno. He does that sometimes,' I looked out of the window. 'Are the boys playing soccer?'"


I had dozens of these kinds of conversations with my mother when I was about Robin's age. I don't remember any of them, but this mother-son moment is the essence of what I remember. Subjects I remember? Girls, girls, girls, girls, etc. As I recall, my mom was opposed.

I love Robin's forthright words with his mother. I can't recall ever being quite that honest. And in every way it is endearing and shows his trust in her. He gives his mother the opportunity to know what he knows, despite the possibility she will take the side of his teacher.
 
 
*Bookstack3*  SUGGESTIONS *Bookstack3*
 
There was just one line that seemed a bit awkward to me, and believe me it might just be me. This was the line:

"He wasn't that much older than me, with long black hair and was wearing a Redland T-shirt.

I think it would read a bit smoother if it was two sentences. He wasn't that much older than me, with long black hair. He was wearing a Redland T-shirt. This would also add emphasis that Matthew is or once was a Redland Academy student.

Checking the sentence in my grammar checker, if you decide to keep the sentence as is, it should have a comma between the words "hair" and "and."

*Horse*  IN SUMMARY*Horse*
 
"Redland's Revenge"  is a wonderful story of how relationships, and the right motivations can give our young people the education that will serve them well as they grow up. What every society needs is that edgy blend of a distaste for tyranny that keeps the soul in bondage and complete respect for those who have our best interests in their hearts. Well done!*Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
17
17
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Natsby , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 9, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Single words trigger a solemn journey through a hurting soul. The prose is filled with the tension of a person whose life never met expectations, and yet still contains some of the promises that may yet be fulfilled. "Is it a woman?" you may ask. "Isn't it always," says the patron to the bar tender, who just laughs.

In my case I'll just call her J. There was never a resting place where I could be safe in my pity. Beautiful? Yes. But no tolerance for too much "me time," to reflect on "could I have done better?" When I brought her into the family my mother laughed hysterically. She knew her mission to "fix me" was in capable hands.


*Coffeer*  THEME
 
But wait! Maybe its not a woman. Maybe its time. Time too has a way of playing with our ego, mocking the wicked loves of our past, the long record of losses, and defeats, and chaos. It all disturbs my peace. The theme of the poem is actually a delight to play with, because if I am able to write out my soul's deepest regrets about past relationships, I, through my Savior, can begin to have a map that shows the exit of all my past longings experienced in a hopeless, tragic life.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED"  is written in free verse, with introspection as its driving rhythm. There are heart beats occasionally followed by rumblings from the soul. The tone is heavy, reflective and mysterious.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Good and evil are my family, constantly fighting to define me, they move around, never can they quite settle down. And always there is that one that I must let down.

These acquaintances always come to find me, sometimes I invite them, saying, "please, join my pity party".


Before there can be "the one," there has to be a family called: "good and evil." They will come to find me in my sweet misery. Weren't they the ones that warned me against bad friends, bad women, bad, bad, bad, but did they ever really know what was good??? besides themselves?


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Every part of the poem reads very well and is clearly written. I do not have any recommendations for improving the piece.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Sailing in my Relation-ship - REVISED"  speaks partially of "Good and Evil" as my family, constantly fighting to define me, moving around, never quite settling down. And always, there is that one that I must let down. But the poem calls me to a reflection of what I wasn't, as a friend, a child, a love, and a person of faith.

In the end, memories, regrets, ego, cunning, and irony help me to be prepared for the beautiful beast who will prepare me for the great bye and bye. Oh so lovely, sweet and mystifying!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
18
18
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Angel , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Political Insanity"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

February 9, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Thank you. I am glad you wrote this piece. I don't know any of these politicians you write of. I am so glad. But I can see them through the lens of an American election year and know their innards, as we say in Missouri. I can speculate about their motives, their benefactors, and who in the world spends 20 Million dollars to get an office that pays 280,000 a year? Who are these people? I would pay them just to not run for office. Anyway. Thank You. I enjoyed seeing your view from inside a nation I truly respect and have sincere yearnings in prayer for.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The political arena births "demented clowns," allies with animal mascots, "power hungry insanity" and fake characters that seem to enjoy the fact that their underpinnings are built on lies and deceit. How do you know a politician's promise is untrue? It begins with the words: "I will..."

 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Political Insanity"  is written in free verse with varying rhythms and tones. The music in the words is somewhat dissonant, but adds color to the subject matter which trends to the dark side with a delicious bit of irony.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Wouldn't it be better if they didn't talk,
If each were just a mime,
Acting out their campaigns
In silence, like Charades.”

Yes! And again thank you. I have never dreamed this to be a possible bit of legislation for the new world order, but yes! I think it should be made into a law. In fact if a politician opens mouth to say anything they should be disqualified immediately from the race. Brilliant!

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I enjoyed every word, image and syllable of this piece, though not even tempted to look up to see who any of the characters in the poem are. Again, brilliant!


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Political Insanity"  is a poem about the nature of a campaign in which enough hooey (another Missouri expression) is hurled at the voting public that the true nature of our politicians, parties and government alliances with evil, fools no one. They are all insane! And as a side show, they definitely need to be confined to games of Charades!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(02.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
19
19
Review of Pain in the neck  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings drifter , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Pain in the neck"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

January 25, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Philosophy was my crutch in the '70s. The beauty of philosophy is if you are a halfway decent writer, it is nearly a sure passage to an advanced degree. My only problem was conning someone gifted in math to do my Algebra for me. I know, off topic a bit...but no...the ones who refused to do my homework so I could get a doctorate in philosophy were my "pain in the neck." As for the lack of endurance...ha! I read Nietzsche, and Kierkegaard, embraced their world view, their rejections and sufferings, their pain.

I like that you are pushing the limits of the "pain!" It gives me something to reflect on as I reload my weapons.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The pain in the neck is only the gateway to the challenges of living or dying. If the dance is on the edge of the places where ideas battle then we must dance alone. The pain lets me know that something piercing my neck is headed for my soul. I must not give up on my soul at any cost. It may be mine to protect, but it is not mine to save.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"Pain in the neck"  is a tantalizing prose piece. The tone darkens as the images reveal a penetration to the body that threatens the inner workings of the soul, while the mind begins to fight against body's desire to accept its fate.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“I can not win the battle alone. Let us fight together against that which pierces the soul revealing the wound.”

Rehearsing the words to lift an interpretation from all of the elements at work in this piece, there is a sudden truth that surfaces. There is a fight. It is a fight for the souls of man. Presidents, tyrants, despots have wanted those souls for their own ends, their purposes. And even when the governments present themselves as friends and helpers to the masses, the end result is to enslave the soul to be a minion of the proletariate.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Your writing met all of my expectations. Well done.



*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Pain in the neck"  challenges the philosopher to look at the pain in the neck as a symptom of something more deadly encroaching on what should be a safe harbor of thought and creative expression. But it is a battle now, as it always has been, to live in the sweet joys of the liberty we have earned!   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.26.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
20
20
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Click on the fancy snow image to join us in reviewing the WdC Community


Hello Graywriter ,  congratulations on winning the "Winter Fun Raffle and Auction"  and for being awarded a review from the SuperPower Package.

I was pleased to read  "Black Cat Adoption"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.

January 25, 2023

*Books1*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Where does the wonder and beauty of love between two people begin? It seems that even on the other side of a frozen pond, rescuing a starving animal that a man and a woman can become fast friends. The story is gentle in spirit, warm in images and serene in its perception of love and romance. My soul is inspired by the sweet confection of words that promote the ideal and the hope that not only is love possible, but it is also a powerful health restorative.
 
*Books2*  HEART INSPIRED
 
Everything about the story of Rowan, Angelo, and a black cat is light hearted and hopeful. While the skinny, pregnant "kitty" takes center stage, the act of rescuing initiates a friendship based on attractions from Rowan's view point and tender, loving actions on the part of Angelo.
 
*Books3*  SPECIAL ELEMENTS
 
The scene is uniquely designed to inspire the imagination. I can visualize the landscape easily from experience, paintings and photographs. I can feel the chill. I hear skates on ice. The voices have to be gentle and respectful to win over a frightened cat. The human heart has to be receptive to another joining in a mission that requires tenderness, kindness and the gentlest of touches.

 
*Bookopen**Bookopen*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
These were a few of my favorite sentences:

“He touched her arm with his gloved hand. “I have half a tuna sandwich left from lunch. I bet she’d come for that! If you’ll stay here and talk to her, I’ll be right back” He got to his feet and skated across the pond. She admired his swift and graceful movements, the powerful thrusts of his legs, then turned back to cajole the cat.”

Whatever the outcome of the "kitty rescue," Rowan and Angelo have begun a relationship that is based on a shared interest in helping the unfortunate of this world. Rowan is struck by the strength of Angelo, in contrast to his gentle mannerisms with her and the frightened cat. I am inspired by the stories of my friends who found love and enduring romance through just a few simple "coincidences." I am living out one of those romances myself. It is one of the more beautiful aspects of life on this side of eternity.  
 
*Bookstack3*  SUGGESTIONS *Bookstack3*
 
My only suggestion over all is to add more white space between paragraphs. This is just for ease of reading on the white screen. Everything else about your sentence and paragraph structure is spot on.

There was one edit I would recommend. In the sentence: "The sight her small pink mitten in his hand awoke feelings that had slumbered since her divorce. “Nice to meet you.”

I believe you may have intended the sentence to read: "The sight of her small pink mitten in his hand awoke feelings that had slumbered since her divorce. “Nice to meet you.”

*Horse*  IN SUMMARY*Horse*
 
"Black Cat Adoption"  is a marvelous story of a unique place and circumstance where love and romance can't help but begin. I will always have room for love's hope in my heart. And I can never be reminded enough that love is the ultimate human experience! *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr*
 

Please Visit ▼


"WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group" 





(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.25.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
21
21
Review of A Dog Named Zeke  
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Magoo , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "A Dog Named Zeke"  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”

January 20, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
How beautiful it is to hold onto the memories of the those who are one with their pets. In this world of sorrow and pain, something is tender and gracious in the relationship birthed between a man and his dog. Sometimes, when the world is just a bit more harsh than usual, we catch the glimmer of someone hurt and damaged, comforted by a buddy who is just as beat up as we are.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
Jack adopts a wounded dog, in whom he finds the love and acceptance he needs to carry his life forward with a bit more meaning, and a bit more inspiration to "keep on, keeping on."
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
"A Dog Named Zeke"  has a tone I really love to embrace. The sounds and sights and feelings blend so well together that I can almost hear the music in the syllables.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Jack took him home on a cold September day,
gave him lots of food and a warm place to stay.
Zeke was the nicest dog I'd seen in the park,
greeting everyone till a little past dark.”

I get that warm feeling that comes from knowing that every living thing created by God, has a purpose, a plan, value and worth. It is too easy to discard the unlovely, the broken and the hurt. Zeke reminds me that in most cases I don't even have a clue as to what one life means to another. But even the smallest creature has significance and power to elevate my awareness of the beauty of life.


*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I like the words, music and images in your piece. There is a wonderful message conveyed in your writing. Thank you.

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"A Dog Named Zeke"  speaks of the value all life has for the one who wants to care for more than just himself. The beauty of a special friend who lends significance to our lives has a legacy that transends this world. So it is with pets and their people.   *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼


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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.20.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
22
22
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" *Boat2*


Greetings Igor Skoglund ,  Welcome to Writing.com! I was pleased to read  "The Resilience of Roses"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.


January 13, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
Okay. You are now my favorite poet. Not only is your subject matter the greatest in all the land but the form you use to celebrate my favorite flower is exactly what should be used to extol the virtues of the mighty rose.
 
*Coffeer*  THEME
 
"The Resilience of Roses"  celebrates the wonderful beauty, fragrance and resilience of one of God's finest creations. While the images remind one of the rose's outward beauty, the poet also finds in the hearty plant the essence of what it means to survive and thrive in a harsh and chaotic environment.

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
Created using a traditional rhyming pattern, the rhythm, pace and tone of the poem is beautifully written. The images are strong, relatable and easy to embrace.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“For roses are survivors
Strong and resilient too.
They weather every storm
And always come through.”

I've always lived in a moderate climate so never considered that my towering tree roses were all that strong. The City of Santa Rosa where I grew up was filled with every variety of rose and there were rose blossoms year round. But as I look out on my rose garden here in South Western Missouri where -7 degree weather killed practically everything in sight, I am praying that the truth you have unveiled in your tribute to the glorious rose is absolutely true!

 
*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Beautifully crafted and filled with sweet, strong images, I feel that this wonderful piece is complete in every way. Thank you for your wonderful thoughts and words.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*
 
"The Resilience of Roses"  is a tribute to one of the most wonderful flowers on earth. Looking beyond the obvious beauty, the poet lifts up the rose's dynamic tie to a nearly supernatural life source to overcome every environmental hardship. Well done! *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼


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Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.13.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
23
23
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" *Boat2*


Greetings Igor Skoglund ,  Welcome to Writing.com! I was pleased to read  "The Surprise in the Shadows"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.


January 13, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
I was thinking in class the other day, how to illustrate to my primary Bible Class, something that I am afraid of. It wasn't hard to come up with one. I have always been afraid of the dark. So, as your main character leaves the library and it seems it might be near dark, I find myself growing uneasy for her. But, Oh no, now it actually is dark. In my experience nothing good happens in the dark. I am on edge as your narrative sets me up for something terrifying to happen.
 
*Coffeer*  THEME
 
"The Surprise in the Shadows"  recounts the story of a woman facing one of life's greatest fears, "the dark." When it becomes clear that daylight is fading fast, and the homeward bound walk is going to be in the dark, a woman becomes aware that someone is probably following her. And now it is dark...

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
The prose is written in the third person from the perspective of the main character. All the writing is done in a narrative style, clear, concise and informative.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Just as she was about to turn onto her street, a hand reached out from an alley and grabbed her arm. ”

To this point the tension in the story has been well developed and the expected, but sudden entrance of a "hand," gives me the "Aha moment" my heart has been preparing for. But was I really prepared for it?

 
*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
Your writing is clear, concise, well paced and informative. The main character has no trappings to distract from the power of the coming trauma.

My only suggestion would be to add a bit more color to the main character. Some mannerisms that "show" that she is afraid instead of relaying some facts about her heart, would draw the reader into the story a bit deeper. Because this is a short piece with a surprise ending, I would give voice to some of her worry and fear. For instance, when I walk in the dark, I become my dearest, closest friend. I talk to myself. Silly I know, but people do some silly things when they are afraid. If a hand came out of nowhere and grabbed me, the reader would not need to be told I screamed, the would see me fall to the ground in a dead faint. But then that's just me.


*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*
 
"The Surprise in the Shadows"  tells the story of how one friend surprises another, but with a bit too much drama/trauma. The main character is probably nursing a newly formed trauma, and some new justification to never walk home in the dark again. Well done! *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

Please Visit ▼
GROUP
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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.13.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
24
24
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*


Greetings Shadow Prowler-Spreading Love , Happy Anniversary! I was pleased to read  "Home Is Across the Threshold "  from your portfolio and delighted to give your writing a review, as my way of saying, “Congratulations On Your Anniversary On Writing.com.”


*Snow1*  *Snow4*  *Snow2*This review too is being offered as part of the first WDC Superpower Reviewers Portfolio Raid Review of 2023!*Snow1*  *Snow4*  *Snow2*
Click on the fancy snow image to join us in reviewing the WdC Community


January 8, 2023


*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
War! The struggle for land, resources, power and authority is grave, brutal and deadly. There are those who embrace the terror of making nothing out of flesh and blood, stone and steel. There are heroes that die in the conflict every day. Even in the arena of ideas, morals, philosophies and religion, humanity inflicts as much damage on the opposing side as they can conjure up. When the blood flows the lines between the ideal and the reality becomes blurred. Did my curse actually inflict such a deep, festering wound? It isn't until one walks the smoking battlefield strewn with the bodies of the dead and dying that one begins to understand heaven, angels, spiritual landscapes and the paradise where all is at peace. A lasting rest.

*Coffeer*  THEME
 
After a vicious battle where the wounds are fresh and the ground is still gorged with blood, those who have perished under the bombardment and storm of bullets rise from the freshly hewn earth to find their way home.
 
*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
The story is a narrative from a third person omniscient perspective. The few words spoken in dialogue add a sharp contrast between what a soldier is leaving behind and the beauty and peace on the other side of the threshold.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Bright light, unlike anything Alan had ever seen radiated as the hall opened into a massive sprawling pasture, except it was nothing like the one he'd fought on that very day. As he stepped across the threshold the fragrant breeze held hints of lavender, magnolia, and pine. It was a cool, refreshing breeze that welcomed him and enticed him to enter further into the new dimension.”

I study war. Spent some months on the edges of a few battlefields though never experienced the killing. And I've grown up in the serene beauty of the farm country. Guess which experiences I prefer.

But there are other wars as well. Political ideologies have fractured families and split apart good friends. The carnage isn't as graphic as on Alan's battlefield, but then the victims are still alive, wounded and grieving over what is lost. Where is our threshold when we have the privilege of a life into our 80's and 90's? That hallway that led Alan into a "better" world may be a long way off for the warriors that crave a freedom without religious, racial, and political persecution.

*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
The story is beautifully crafted and I love the narrative's detail. The pace and tone of the story that moves from the shadowy mystery of the battlefield into a tranquil paradise, is stunning.

My only suggestion is that in the first sentence of the second paragraph you use the present tense instead of the past tense to describe what Alan is attempting to do with his eyes.

It might be better to write the sentence in the past tense to be consistent with the rest of the narrative.

Through the fog trying to drag him back into an abyss of nothingness, he forces [ forced ] his eyes to stay open and focus.

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*

"Home Is Across the Threshold "  gives a glimpse of a moment on a battlefield where those who have perished in the conflict begin a painful, but blessed, journey to their final home. The contrast between dark and light, starkness and brilliance inspires hope in the heart, that all warriors find a place to be restored to the innocence and peace they lose in the daily battles of life! Well done!  *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.09.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
25
25
Review by ♫~ Kenword~♫
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (5.0)
*Boat2*    Welcome to WdC from the "Newbie Welcome Wagon" *Boat2*


Greetings Penelope Moonbeam ,  Welcome to Writing.com! I was pleased to read  "OATH OF NEW YEAR/ THE PROMISE"  from your portfolio and it is my pleasure to give your writing a review.

*Snow1*  *Snow4*  *Snow2*This review too is being offered as part of the first WDC Superpower Reviewers Portfolio Raid Review of 2023!*Snow1*  *Snow4*  *Snow2*
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January 7, 2023

*Coffeer*  FIRST IMPRESSION
 
What a fun way to look at the inevitable. The use of an acrostic, not to exactly lyricize a special moment in time, but the format, the rhythm and cadence of the writing is light, energetic and a delight to read.
 
*Coffeer*  THEME
 
The New Year has a place with us each year. Whether invited to the table and a feast or a party and a celebration the "baby year" comes along with a bit of noise, some special promises that sound like accolades and maybe should be welcomed with a lot more energy than what our hearts can conceive.

Tied to the New Year's appearance is some beautiful prose aligned with the words "The Promise." Like the first words "Oath of New Year," the promise speaks of the joy of trust, vows, and promises where love can begin to flourish.

*Coffeer*  STRUCTURE
 
The prose is written in an acrostic format to the words: "Oath of New Year" and "The Promise." The format adds a great deal of joy to what might be taken as ordinary, or mundane. After all promises, and oaths, and New Years happen all the time, right? But the author has given us a special way to reflect on the ways our story may play out this year! Beautifully.
 
*Coffeer**Coffeer*  MY FAVORITE MOMENT
 
This was my favorite moment:

“Promise that will carry us through this chaotic unfeeling world of turmoil
Remember that side by side we shall get through the darkest moments
Only you and I, alone can depend on each other, never forget that the
Most important thing we can do is love and cherish each other ”

How blessed we are when we can share with our most cherished love the joys of a New Year and days yet to be experienced together. The treasure is in the wisdom of young hearts that know that love will overcome every obstacle, no matter what is hiding in the shadowy months of the year ahead.
 
*Coffeer*  SUGGESTIONS
 
I liked everything written in this piece. I think it is super just the way you have created it.

*Coffeer**Coffeer*  IN SUMMARY*Coffeer**Coffeer*
 
"OATH OF NEW YEAR/ THE PROMISE"  begins by giving the New Year something to say at his own celebration and ends with beautiful words of promised love, charity and devotion. I was glad to be a part of this special time of celebrating the New Year. *Smile*
 
I hope my thoughts and impressions have been a help. Let me know if you have any questions about my review.
 
Kind Regards,

*Music2*~Kenword~*Music2* *Mugr**MugR*
 

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GROUP
WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  (E)
Join the fun! We inspire reviewers through kindness and learning! Winner of six Quills!
#1300305 by Maryann - House Martell






(101@100513)_(101x2@030614)_(100x6@031820)_____
 (YCM_@122313)(01.07.23)
(Recognition 300 11.29.22)


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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