 Comedy: December 17, 2014 Issue [#6717] |
  Comedy
This week: Song Parodies Edited by: Robert Waltz  
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There is a remarkable breakdown of taste and intelligence at Christmas time. Mature, responsible grown men wear neckties made of holly leaves and drink alcoholic beverages with raw egg yolks and cottage cheese in them.
-PJ O'Rourke
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.
-George Carlin
In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!
-Dave Barry |
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Confession: This is not my favorite time of the year.
Give me spring's explosion of renewed life, summer's bikinis on the beach, and fall's bittersweet aromas. But winter? No.
Bad enough that it's cold and could snow at anytime, but you can't walk into a store without hearing holiday songs. I have the utmost respect for anyone who works retail at this time of year, because my limit in any given store is about a half hour (or 5 minutes if the soundtrack is overtly religious in nature) before I start wanting to do bad things to everything. And the workers are in there all damn day, extended hours, everything on SALE SALE SALE.
It wouldn't be so bad, I suppose, if it weren't the same songs over and over. But it is. And then the songs get stuck in your head, to the point where you're lying there in bed at night going "You know, I really should buy something."
But there is one thing that keeps me from getting dragged off to an institution every year, apart from the knowledge that said institution would probably have cheery holiday songs playing all the time. And that one thing is holiday song parodies.
There are few greater joys in life than hearing a sappy holiday song twisted into something hilarious. Here are some examples:
It's the Most Wonderful Time for a Beer
The Shoggoth Song
Walking Around in Women's Underwear
Of course, such parodies are legion. Fortunately, because I'd hate to get tired of them, too.
There are other categories of parody holiday songs as well. One is the ordinary song that is turned into a holiday song, in the manner of Weird Al Yankovic's song parodies.
Here's a medley from the Tonight Show
And another is a rare beast: an original song that is both funny and holiday-themed. I'll spare you the link to "Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer" and go straight to this gem from the greatest musical comic of all time:
Tom Lehrer's A Christmas Carol
(yeah, okay, there are some parody medley aspects to that one, so I cheated, but that song is so awesome I couldn't help it)
So anyway, whatever you're into this time of year, make the best of it, don't let family get you down, and always, always remember to drink.
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This week, I'm focusing on funny song lyrics - not necessarily holiday-themed.
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