|Comedy: October 28, 2020 Issue [#10432]|
This week: Getting back to the Southern Comfort Edited by: Wicked Ẃitch of the Web
More Newsletters By This Editor
1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions
The love rug? Not what you think. Well that depends. It could be what you think if you’re as warped and as busy a witch in October as this witch is!
|Getting back to the Southern Comfort No, the title does not refer to the liquor, it refers to my packing and traveling South to my Southern Comfort zone-home. Yes, folks, it’s fall, and the leaves in New England reached their peak and have turned from rusty, muted shades, to a brownish end of the glory-line color. Some are actually beginning to crunch. This means darker, drearier days ahead. I actually could sniff a bit of potential snow in the air. It has a fragrance that precedes the actual snow storm. It’s like a pre-warning of nasty times ahead.|
Don’t get me wrong, I love the first snowfall. I love the beauty of a blanket of crisp, white covering upon the ground. I don’t like slip-sliding when the snow melts a bit and then freezes over night. As the owner of 2 replaced hips, I cannot imagine the pain of slipping on ice and falling onto some titanium implanted within my body. Ouch! And what happens if somehow the metal itself twists in a way that looks quite unnatural when I attempt to go from horizontal to vertical? No, let’s face it, walking around with one leg facing forward and the other facing back means I get no place fast. And I, the actual attempting-walker won’t know whether I’m coming or going.
So, you see, Florida is more of a preventative medical care. Why? Because I’m a klutz! Yup, that’s right, I admit it. I can trip over my own feet walking into the kitchen because my skid-proof flipflops have a pull-back reaction to a rubber mat. Hmm, rubber to rubber? Perhaps it’s mat to footwear love. Yes, that must be it. That picture perfect rectangle of supposed foot saving comfort while standing in one place for hours is actually a beautiful potential mate to my footwear. After all, the two of them have spent a lot of time together because I love to cook and that requires a long time on my feet standing in one place, mostly. More like the three of them since I do have 2 feet and one comfort mat. That would be a irubbernage a tois! I don’t think I like that kind of stuff going on in my house. I absolutely refuse to have my mat and shoes have more fun than me in my own home! Besides, why choose a mat – it just lays there!
Oh, what adventures lie ahead with this trip. I’m sure it will work its way into the next Comedy Newsletter. It’ll probably be written poolside, in the warm breezes, as palm fronds sway and birds sing, because they don’t deal with cold winters either. I am that tree, those birds. Yes, I am WebWitch and I need me some Florida fun in the sun with both my feet facing in the same direction while navigating the sandy beaches. And that’s a good thing! With my legs and feet all twisted around had I spent winter up North and fallen on ice as described above, those sharks off the shore might think I’m some delicious sea creature to be had for lunch. I’m no fin of that!
Yes, folks, I’m hitting the road to Florida. The next time we meet, I’ll be reporting from my Southern Command Center. I’ll be super tan by then, too! Plus, I’ll be celebrating a witch’s favorite night – Halloween. I was going to dress-up, but decided I’m more convincing going as myself.
Until next time – laugh hard, laugh often! And, watch out for those rubber mats.
Have a safe and fun Halloween! And if you haven't already, don’t forget to enter a WDC member’s festive Handle over at "The Witch's Garden " Merit Badges to be given out weekly until Halloween.
Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
Don't forget to support our sponsor!
To stop receiving this newsletter, click here for your newsletter subscription list. Simply uncheck the box next to any newsletter(s) you wish to cancel and then click to "Submit Changes". You can edit your subscriptions at any time.
This printed copy is for your personal use only. Reproduction
of this work in any other form is not allowed and does violate its copyright.