 Comedy: April 30, 2025 Issue [#13111] |
This week: Revisiting the Dark Ages Edited by: Lornda  
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Sometimes the past can bring back funny memories.
"My mother always used to say: The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana."
~Betty White
"I walk around like everything's fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
~Anonymous
"Nothing is more responsible for the good old days than a bad memory."
~Franklin P. Adams - American journalist and humorist |
Recalling the past when you’re older, is like remembering the dark ages. I’m not referring to the dark ages of medieval times a thousand years ago, but for me, it’s around thirty odd years ago. With the world changing at cosmic speed, it can be hard to adapt to the way things are now. We talk into watches and a voice service for the time. No one knows how to read a map and so we trust a Global Positioning System to send us to our destination, and even the English language can be a challenge with new words popping up like weeds. Why does the word deets even exist? Just tell me the details!
While thinking about the past, I recalled a couple of memories of my own involving the dark ages when things were simple – or where they?
 Good riddance to the VCR .
I jumped for joy when the VCR ended its reign. My mother thought it was the best piece of machinery in her life. She now had a way to record all of her soap operas and was so proud that she could program it by herself. Watching her enter the information with a large remote control and small buttons was hilarious. The constant beeps were torture to hear. Without fail, she would make mistakes while punching in the times. The endless number of beeps to backspace and fix it sounded like a heart monitor on too much caffeine. The streaming route these days are better compared to the challenges my mother had programming one of those monsters. I’m sure she would be appalled at such futuristic nonsense and truly miss the beeps.
 Does anyone read a map anymore?
Before GPS became a famous doo-dad, Google Maps blew onto the scene in its infancy stage. I had to drive on an unfamiliar highway to visit someone in the hospital. Thirty minutes later, I was stopped dead at a cul-de-sac. To my right, three cows grazed in a farmer’s field, and to the left, there was a heavily populated graveyard. Apparently, this was my final destination. There was only one thing that was going to guide me, an old map shoved deep into the glove compartment. I rummaged through it, tossing crinkled receipts, the car’s owners manual, and twenty-two folded servettes from McDonalds on the passenger’s seat. The map was definitely there since the dark ages. When I unfolded it, each crease was worn with wrinkles and tears from not being folded right in the first place. I remembered my map-reading skills from grade three and traced where to go, which was one block over from the cul-de-sac. I guess Google Maps thought through the field was a better route.
 I know how to tell time. Do you?
I laugh at how old fashioned it is to tell the time my way. While talking with my nephew recently at a family brunch, we made plans to meet to watch a hockey game. As we were leaving the restaurant, I said I would pick him up at a quarter to seven. He shot me a side-glance and asked the time again. I slowed down and enunciate the words louder. “A quarter to seven.” His facial expression twisted into something from a horror movie and then I realized he was too young to understand my old-speak. I smiled and said, “I’ll see you at 6:45.” It was followed by an eye-roll in my head.
There are many memories I’ve revisited lately. Don’t even get me started on one situation involving grocery stores. I hope it becomes the newest relic of the past one day. With all of the technological advances invented, why is it you can’t open those flimsy plastic bags to put produce in? One time, I finally got the blasted thing separated, threw in one red onion like a baseball, and it fell out and roll down the aisle. I held the bag up and the sides were ripped to smithereens. I think the guy in research and development should be fired for this disaster of an invention.
No matter how you revisit the past, good or otherwise, remember you can always write about it. Even one little snippet from your life can produce a laugh to make your story entertaining. Until next time, write on, and maybe I'll meet up with you at a quarter to seven sometime soon!
If revisiting the past isn’t your idea of a fun time, enjoy the following video of dancing through the dark ages — well, a few years ago! 
Dance Moves Through the Years
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Have an opinion on what you've read here today? Then send the Editor feedback! Find an item that you think would be perfect for showcasing here? Submit it for consideration in the newsletter!
https://www.Writing.Com/go/nl_form
 What are some inventions from the past that you wished were still around today? What’s one of your funny memories from back in the day?
 Feedback from my last newsletter, "Trinkets 101" . The question posted: What is your Trinket skill level? Are you an avid collector only, or are you on the hunt regularly?
Fivesixer  : "I remember one of the supposed purposes for Trinkets was for people to collect them to unlock certain chapters or parts of stories. Like there was a mysticism about it. In my experience not many people use them that way today; they exploded more as a fad of the site and as time went on that dwindled. There's the occasional comeback flurry, but to me they just mean another cool thing to distract us. I'll still collect 'em, but it's always felt misused to me."
Lol! Yes, it's a fun distraction. I've come across some cool ways to use them, but it's on my WdC bucket list to try and trade a couple. Of course, I'll have to figure that out some day. 
Elycia Lee ☮
Holiday  : "Thank you for the lovely trinket collection, Lornda and for featuring my poem.  That was a surprise. I enjoyed reading your newsletter about trinkets. They are very detailed and I loved the little tip you taught us about including a trinket in reviews. I do hope I can create more trinkets in future instead of the only one that I have.
Since we are on the subject of trinkets, I'd like to bring to everyone's attention to this item: "Ultimate Trinket Adventure [Mainland]" . I have yet to participate, but this is such a fun way to use trinkets as a key to unlock other items. I do want to create something like that in the far future, but I definitely want to play with Gervic's trinket adventure land first."
You're welcome for the trinkets and for the poem highlight! I have come across the way Gervic used Trinkets a few years ago. It was fun! I'm glad you enjoyed the newsletter and thanks for the comment.
Ichabod Crane-writing-reading.  : "Good newsletter. Thank you for including 'Flea Market Trip' in your Editor's Picks."
You're welcome and thanks for the comment!
Sumojo  : "Thank you so much for including my story The Collector in this week's Newsletter."
You're welcome! 
Detective  : "I'm not sure what my skill level is. I collect trinkets as a come across them, whether in the Newsfeed or in the Newsletters, particularly when offered for answering questions, but I don't go out of my way to hunt them done."
I do the same, too! If I get bored, sometimes I'll go hunting. 
StephBee  : "What a great NL about Trinkets! I learned a lot. This one is a keeper!"
Thanks for the comments, and I'm glad you enjoyed reading it! 
dogpack saving 4premium+  : "I collect trinkets as much as time and energy allow. If I could I'd collect everyone: past, present, and future." ( Submitted story: "Looking Forward A Relaxing Weekend" )
Me too! Thanks for the comment!
 Comments from the Newsfeed. Thanks!
TheBusmanPoet  : "Any time a trinket becomes available to me, I accept it."
ßlυҽყҽʐ 🤍  : "I used to collect just the trinkets that appealed to me until I realized I could get CR for every 100. Then I started looking for all I could find."
tj wanderlust-words-in-motion  : "I used to collect just the trinkets that appealed to me until I realized I could get CR for every 100. Then I started looking for all I could find."
dragonwoman : "Love whatever comes my way."
The Puppet Master : "I got another trinket point! Thanks!"
HollisFrances : "Novice."
Mousethyme : "Just a casual collector."
Schnujo's Giving Away GPs  : (Regarding "Trinkets" ) - "I'd like to point out that the list of trinkets was actually transferred to me without permission by someone who had started it and was leaving the site and wanted me to take care of it and update it for them.
I definitely haven't updated it...which is why you shouldn't transfer things without permission. Eek! I have since changed my settings so that can't happen anymore...after another couple of things were also transferred without permission.
And since changing my settings, I've had others complain that they can't transfer things to me, you know, without permission. Yeah, I know. lol
Anyway, enjoy the trinket collection I didn't ask to own and I don't update! Hahaha!" 
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