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 |  Little scraps of my life... my blog. |
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Hey now, there will be NO thinking that I was not coming back. *tuts and shakes head*  I've been having some personal issues/a breakdown/mini crisis and I needed a little time away from my blog. Weird, I know, but that's how it worked. Besides, you should thank me because if I had continued to make public blogs and you had commented, I probably would've taken everything the wrong way and proceeded to bite your heads off and say things I regretted later. Some things are better left in my own head. I'm being more positive and trying to steer my thoughts and actions back to where they should be. It's going to take a lot and I'm going to need to rely on God's strength, not my own - it's just a matter of remembering that. I went to church this morning after a long absence and the sermon was wonderful. It was based on Psalm 23 and it was all so relevant. It was like God was speaking directly to me. And for that, I am truly thankful. I'm still tired though. It didn't help that yesterday morning (Saturday), I wake up at 8:30am to my dad standing in my doorway with the phone, telling me to answer. "It's work," he says. "Take a message," I mumble. He refuses. I refuse to answer. We have a mini stand-off until he comes up to my bed and shoves the phone in my face. I mutter and grumble and groan... and take the phone. "Hello?" I don't even bother to sound awake, just let the sleepy crackle of my voice give it away. "Did I wake you?" My boss asks in the most annoying, chirpiest, evilly gleeful voice possible. "Yes... yes you did."  So without even realising what I was doing (this is why they ring early so you're still half asleep and not in your right mind yet), I agreed to come in early. How early? As soon as I could get there. Oh, great. And why? Because they had money to spend and felt like spending it. Uhh, what? Damn. If I'd known that, I would've said no. I suppose it's good because I get extra money, but it's not like they really needed me. Oh well. |
I look at you, you bite your tongue You don't know why or where I'm coming from But in my head I'm close to you We're in the rain still searching for the sun You think that I want to run and hide That I keep it all locked up inside But I just want you to find me I'm not lost; not lost, just undiscovered And when we're alone we are all the same as each other You see the look that's on my face You might think that I'm out of place I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered Well the time it takes to know someone It all can change before you know, it's gone So close your eyes and I feel the way I'm with you now Believe there's nothing wrong You think that I want to run and hide That I keep it all locked up inside But I just want you to find me I'm not lost; not lost, just undiscovered And when we're alone we are all the same as each other You see the look that's on my face You might think that I'm out of place I'm not lost, no, no, just undiscovered I'm not running, I'm not hiding But if you dig a little deeper, you will find me James Morrison - Undiscovered There's just something about this song. I think it just hits one of those nerves. It's funny how true it is of me, in so many ways. I always find it so interesting how pretty much everyone expects something totally different of me when they meet me. I've heard a hundred times over from someone I've got to know well, "you're nothing like what I thought you'd be." I'm never quite sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. I suppose not, because it says something about my first impressions. But on the other hand, it's a good thing too. Only the people that really want to get to know me, so I get the best of the crop. I'm not lost, just undiscovered, If you dig a little deeper, you will find me. |
| I feel like absolute crap. I feel like I might burst into tears at any given moment. I took the day off today to stay at home and work here instead because I figured I would drive all the way into class when I know it's only work in progress stuff, then work until midday, not get much done anyway and then come home. So I thought, what the heck, I'll save myself the petrol. But do you think I did anything? Nope. I just didn't do ANYTHING. I have all this work and it's all due soon and I did nothing. And I'm hating myself for it - hence the feeling crap. I've wasted precious time. Now I'm in a slump. I do enjoy the classes and designing, it's just I have so much work that I'm feeling really overwhelmed. I've got about six major assignments going at the moment and I think my brain and body are having trouble keeping up with each other. And now I have to work all weekend as usual, and as usual, I'm dreading it. I agreed to start earlier on Saturdays for awhile (the regular guy is off in Peru, climbing Macchi Picchu with a hip replacement. Lucky bastard... or maybe not so lucky with that hip thing. Bad hips + mountains + high altitude =  ) But anyway, I agreed to do it and it sucks because it means I lose my entire Saturday morning to do any work. And then there's this site, which is so sluggish it may as well just turn into a slug and get it over with. It's like no-one is ever on. People aren't updating their blogs as usual. On top of that, I'm only online while all you in the other hemisphere are asleep so it's doubly worse for me. I feel like I have few friends in real life as well... I haven't seen my so-called best friend since like August, the only time I speak to Paul is when I see him on MSN, I haven't been to bible study for about three weeks because I'm always so tired and stressing about work. Everything sucks. The only up side of everything at the moment is that Allie bought all six seasons of Gilmore Girls recently, so when I feel crappiest, I just stick on an episode and lose myself in their world. It's nice. I'm working my way through the seasons. |
| I saw a car accident last night. Well, I did see it happen but it would've happened just five minutes before we got there. I've never seen one that just happened before. My sister and I were off to see Spider-Man 3 and coming along the road, we were arguing like crazy because I wanted to go to a different cinema and she was still annoyed with me for being a little late getting out the house... and we see all these car lights and people and cars everywhere. One car had run off into the ditch into a tree and the other was sprawled across the road, glass everywhere, the front all smashed up and smoke billowing from the engine. There was people standing around everywhere and a good dozen cars had stopped. There didn't seem to be anyone in the cars, so that was a good sign. Freaked me out a little though. And then I thought - good thing I'm always late! If I had been on time, we would've been right there when it happened. My sister (being like she is) said that was no excuse for being late, but I knew she knew it was the truth. So then continuing on to the cinema, we saw the ambulance go past. I don't think anyone was hurt but an ambulance always gets called, for shock and minor injuries. So that was that! Scary. How was Spider-Man 3? Great! Lauriemariepea was right. It wasn't nearly as bad as the reviews made out. I thought it was just as good as the others, and it didn't feel overly lengthy. My sis thought there were too many storylines happening but I still can't figure that out.... seriously, she made me so confused. There were various new characters but they were all interconnected with Spider-man anyway, so I don't know what her problem was..... I loved the Sandman!! Sandman = awesomeness.  His whole sand thing reminded me of The Mummy movies and I LOVE those movies! Topher Grace was fantastic too and I didn't think of That 70s Show everytime I saw him. I've always thought he was a great actor. He did the sweet thing and the evil thing equally as good. And it was funny too! Laurie - the angry dude from the paper with his pills and blood pressure thing cracked me up! My whole cinema was in hysterics. The only bad thing was that the cinema had a blackout, so although the movie didn't stop, all of sudden we see a Windows Media Player type screen come up on the screen with the movie playing behind it. Everyone's like "what the?" And then it didn't go away, and those quizzes you see before the movie starts came up, and the movie was still playing but you couldn't possibly watch it and everyone started yelling out and getting all narky. No-one was doing anything, so my sister jumps up and runs out. It's fixed when she comes back... someone told her there was a guy already up in the box fixing it and said they had a blackout. So yeah. Kinda ruined a bit of it, but it went so long, it was like we missed nothing! |
| welkerdeb 's right. Mondays suck. A lot. Every single week. I had to work late tonight and I was sooooo tired. I still am, so I didn't know why I'm here actually.... but carry on. I came home from class and slept for a half hour, got up and felt even more sleepy. So I had my second coffee of the day (on top of the bottle of Coke I'd already consumed), splashed my face with cold water, had a banana and pasta for energy.... and concluded with singing my own little song - "Stay awake, stay awake...you will not go to sleep... stay awaaaake...sleeping at the wheel is bad because you will diiiiiiihieeeee." Clearly, I have talent. Number one hit right there. I was already tired from the word go today, but I think I exhausted myself by going to the nearest shopping centre after class and legging it around the place in record time looking for shoes brochures to use in my catalogue. I was a woman on a mission. I was power-walking it past every store, my eyes frantically glancing at the name of each store desperately looking for footwear. But each store I found had no catalogues! I even pretended to actually be shopping so I could sneak my way to the counter to check for piles (what? I couldn't just tear in there at top speed, make a beeline for the counter and leave again! Well, I could've but I have my pride!) The only good one I got was the actual shopping centre one featuring stuff from all different stores. And THEN, I got an idea!! "Really?! What?" The crowd asks incredulously. Go to the websites of a whole bunch of shopping centres and shoe shops and ask them to mail me a copy of their latest catalogue! Genius. I'm not sure how many I'll actually get, but one already replied and said they'd have it in the mail tomorrow so that's a good sign. I figured they wouldn't mind if I'm a potential buyer, right? So easy - all my hard work delivered on my doorstep!Something bad also happened today. I lost all my work from Illustrator.  I was trying to save some changes and it just stopped responding, so I had to closed it and when I went to re-open it, it said 'file has been damaged, cannot repair.' Nooooooooo!!!!!!!! Well, I would've reacted like that if the teacher hadn't been sitting there. Instead, I went "uh-oh" and stayed silent. The only good news is that I saved the file as a .jpg the other day, so at least I can re-do with something to work by. For those that are interested, this is my new movie: http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v34/twinkledee/dangerouslyinloveposter2.jpg I have the actual image saved in Photoshop with the movie title, so what I have to do is re-do all the extra wording (like the writing down the bottom, which took FOREVER). Go on, tell me you like it. It'll make me feel better. |
| *sigh* I don't think my GP earning thing is going to work out..... should I: A) start an auction, B) make another cNote collection, C) give up and buy everyone merit badges, D) spend less time on WdC pointlessly meandering around doing nothing and concentrate on more important things...... It's frustrating. *sigh* Alright, I'll stop now. Remember the bitchy manager who returned? Well, the whole store has pretty much turned against her. haha. Everytime she's not around, people are talking about her. I was at the printer and a bunch of kids were complaining about how she'd said their shoes weren't acceptable and this one guys pants had pin stripes on them and he was wondering if she would pick him up on it.... then they left and she actually came in with another manager and was saying how she was going to put a sign up about people's tongue and lip piercings (fair enough, I suppose...it really doesn't look good). So on my break, in she comes to the staff room and pins up a sign. It goes on about dress code and that the rules will be enforced next week. Everyone starts going on and on and on about the unfairness of particular rules. lol. There are rules I can see the reasoning behind, but there are others that are just stupid. Like it says in the rules that hair longer than your shoulders should be tied back. Mine is just below my shoulders, and it's been longer, and I've never once in the six years I've been there tied it back or been asked to. I just don't ever tie my hair back because I have a thing about my largeish ears and would rather they be covered (seriously, if my hair is tied back and I'm standing with the light behind me, my ears take on a life of their own...) There should be no reason for my hair to be tied back. It's not a health and safety issue and I don't work in hospitality. No-one's said anything yet though. The particular manager came up and asked me how my sister was (she worked with her all that time ago) and she never mentioned my hair. In fact, she hasn't mentioned anything since the chewy actually. But if she does ask me to tie my hair back, I'm flat-out refusing.  Actually, the conversation we had was kind of weird. Funny, but weird. When she asked about my sister, I mentioned she was married now and she's like... "ohh, wow.... what about you?" Me: " Me what? Married?" Yep, that's what she meant. Me: *laughs, splutters then swallows nervously* "No, of course not!" Her: "So, do you have a boyfriend?" Me: "Ahhh, no..." Her: "Any potentials?" Me: "Um, no?" Her: "Well, you never know... he could come along at any moment..." Me: "Well...no...well...maybe...*laughs* " Does anyone else think I'm just slightly intimidated by this woman? I must be. She freaks me out and makes me all nervous because I think she's going to get me in trouble for something! I'm such a timid girl. No, really... I am. Confidence is not my strong point. |
| It's been a stormy day today. I woke up not only to my phone alarm ringing and thinking that some was actually calling me (it rings every other day and I don't think someone suddenly wants to call me at 7am ) - but also to the VERY loud sound of thunder. My bed shook and everything. I'd forgotten what thunder sounded like! With the drought, we haven't seen a thunderstorm in years and years. It is so cool! After the fright of waking up to that wore off, I just lay there and listened to it, watching for the flash of lightening. Reminded me of when I was a kid, we used to get lots of thunderstorms and I'd always see the lightening and lie there all excited waiting for the thunder. But now as an adult.... okay, okay... I did exactly the same thing but I was wondering where the rain was. It thundered for ages with no rain. But finally it came and it was so nice to see proper rain. So nice that I decided it was too wet and stormy to venture outside and skipped class. It would only mean that I would have to drive in the rain and then walk to class with an umbrella (because I always have to park light years away) - and everyone knows that you should use an umbrella during lightening. It's completely beside the point that the storm would have subsided by the time I made it to class...  I got some work done today though.... at home nice and cosy in my trakkies. I also followed a link from Lauriemariepea 's blog and spend far too much time awwwww'ing and laughing over lots of cute lil kitties. This one < http://mfrost.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/gaaallllgh.jpg > got one of the biggest laughs - look at that look on the kitty's face behind them!!! CLASSIC! But, oh, there's more.... http://mfrost.typepad.com/cute_overload/kittens/index.html |
| You know what? I put that spider entry of mine up as a static item and I'm tired of all the sucky reviews, so I'm sticking it on private. Okay, okay - I get it - I can't write very well anymore! Maybe that's what happens when you decide you'd rather take a different direction in life and end up in a graphic arts course..... eh. Anyway, that said - remember that article I was doing for the Christian women's magazine? No? Well, I mentioned it a couple times late last year/early this year and yeah, it takes that long for things to get sorted because it was published recently. There was a bit of back and forth in the beginning and then the person I was working with disappeared off the face of the earth and I got an apology email from the editor a month or so later, who then also went over my work. In the end, I just felt like going "just take it!!" because I was so over it. And that's kind of what I did too just not in so many words. But it's published now and my name's even attached with a (very) mini-bio so that's good. So, did they ask me to come back and write again? Uhh... no... even better! I'm going to be the new designer. Well, kind of. The current designer is feeling overloaded with her work and would like someone to help out and maybe eventually take over. She's also working on designing a whole new design and would like to collaborate with me on it. That's great, although it may not work out because I live a long way from where she lives and where the rest of the editoral committee lives... but we'll see. As the designer, I would work with a template and just layout the articles but I would get total creative freedom for the cover and fonts. It's not paid because the magazine is run on donations and a voluntary team, but that's fine because it looks great on your resume. Kudos to my sister for suggesting me! It's great having a sister with the biggest social circle I've ever heard of.... I'm a little nervous because I said yes so fast and I've never done this sort of thing before. I'm learning it in class and the laying out part is fairly easy but the current editor suggested not relying on stock photography for the cover because it doesn't always print in grayscale very well... which means I will have to get the hang of the pen tool in Illustrator in record time so I can draw things! That thing is such a little bugger, it never does anything you want it too! It's getting easier with practise though. Unless... any of the artists here would want to draw me something!  Hehe, how cheeky of me. It's not really how it's done though...you're supposed to do it yourself so you can put it in your resume and prove you can do it. But if I'm desperate..... |
I got up at 6:45am yesterday. On a Saturday!  Why? I went garage-saling!! Me and my sister had never been to a garage-sale before, and when it came up at dinner the other night, Julia suggested the three of us along with this other girl we know who is (news to me) a vintage/garage-sale/bargain/shopping freak, go on Saturday. So we did. It was quite an effort to get up, but apart from the slamming-the-car-door-on-my-hip-when-I-underestimated-it's-length incident.... it wasn't so bad! We went to 9 different houses in the space of about two and a half hours. Most of it was junk, so you get used to just walking around and walking straight back out again without feeling like you're offending the owner. I kept feeling like I should stand around for a bit and at least pretend like I was interested just so the owner didn't feel disappointed. But the girl was was the garage-sale pro was in and out in a flash and just stood outside waiting for us - all like "next!" She certainly has an eye for the good stuff though. She spotted this vintage looking rug/blanket over in a corner and snapped it right up. All I got was a Lee Child book for 50 cents (which was fantastic because it's one of the those big paperbacks - the ones you get just when they're released) and a CD rack for $2 (which fits perfectly where I wanted it too, so that's fantastic too!) I almost bought a Elvis frame too. It was only $3 and I really liked it but when I looked closer, it had water stains all over the picture. Oh well, maybe I'll see something similar at another sale! Other than that, I've done bugger all this weekend. It's been very nice. lol. I'm playing around with my project work a little, but nothing that's worth saving. I still haven't found one particular picture. I need to find a decent photo of a dark road, preferably one that is sort of city. As in, I don't want one that's got lots of trees in it. If possible, a road with a cliff to one side but that's probably pushing it on the specifics..... I taught myself how to change eye colour in Photoshop though! That's quite a nifty trick. Well... I think I might continue on the hunt for the road picture for now and then head off to bed early for once. |
| I've been getting really pissed off with numerous people this week. I usually have more tolerance but so many things are just rubbing me up the wrong way. I feel like going, "Just piss off!! The lot of ya! I've had it!" But of course I won't. Because I'm nice like that. One of the people was a manager that has returned to my store after like, five years of working elsewhere I suppose. I can't remember whether she was my first boss or not, but it was pretty close. I haven't seen her in all this time, so while I'm in my department doing my work she walks past and the conversation goes as followed: Her: "Hello..... how are you?!" Me: *looking up* "Oh, hi! I'm good thanks, how are you?" Her: "Good." *pause* Her: "You do realise there are some things on the floor a few aisle back..." Me: "Oh, okay..." Her: *goes to walk off, stops, takes a few steps back* "Is that chewing-gum?" Me: *stops chewing* "Uhhh, no?" ( )Her: "Get rid of it." *walks away* Bitch. Yes, I thought that was bitchy. I felt like I was 15 again and spitting it out and handing it to her! Haha, the look on her face would've been priceless (so would my bank account actually). No-one else cares if people chews gum as long as they don't chew like a cow in front of customers. And anyway, this was at five minutes to closing time and there were no customers. And it's not just me, she's told two other people including another manager to stop chewing. And she's been on a uniform rampage and being a Nazi about enforcing the "stay in your area" rule. I went off to the printer to do pricing and was walking back and she stops me and asks what area I'm working in.... I answered... she sees my pricing and goes "oh, you're doing that." She was going to tick me off for being out of my area! GEEZ. What am I? A child? I can do my work without having her on my back about crap like that. If she asks again, I'm tempted to say: "I've got such a heavy period and I really needed to change. Want proof?" *shakes head at my own immaturity* Anyway, there's other things that got on my nerves this week, but that's enough whinging for now. Update on The Brawn (you know, like The Hoff...hahaha): he's still...umm...nice to have around... but unfortunately the novelty is wearing off. He and his tats are still very much in the a-ok book but now he's getting all manager-y on me and keeps asking me to do this and that - and I also get the impression he has no idea how long I've been working there. Quite possibly longer than him but he always explains how to do the most basic of things in great detail.... but I'll just let him because if he knows, he'll be asking me to do all sorts of crazy complicated tasks. He probably thinks I'm still in highschool - most people do. Then when I say I've been and finished university, they go into shock. And he's entirely untalkative (non-talkative?) But that said, I don't offer up conversation starters either. I'll suppose I'll have to get him talking at some point. And now it's got nothing to do with anything apart from filling the boring time with something! |
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