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 |  Little scraps of my life... my blog. |
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I am thoroughly enjoying my week off. I'm not doing much of anything and I like it that way.  My friend wants me to go out tomorrow night, which I'll probably do. She really only wants to see me drink though. Usually when we go out, I'm pretty tame because I'm always driving home. It's a wonderful excuse that no-one can argue with. She always suggests I stay over at her place instead, so I can let loose a little. I may take her up on it this time. It's not that I really want to get drunk or anything, and I have no plans in doing so but it would be nice to have a night out. Like a proper one where you don't have to worry about getting home. It does seem rather irresponsible though and I'm not like that at all. I'm not into clubs much. They're okay for a little while but soon enough everyone's had too much to drink and you have to deal with the sleazy ones and just general 'wastedness'. It gets really bogan and not my scene. We're going to have dinner first and then get a drink or two. I hope it stops there though! The only problem with it is now she has a boyfriend. So apparently he and his mates are going out and then might meet up with us later. Which is great for her and all, but for me, not so much. My only saviour would be if his friend I met last time came and actually wanted to talk to me. If not, then I don't know anyone except my friend and her bf... which she insists won't be awkward for me but I know better! So I don't know. I suppose I'll go. Maybe I won't stay over so I have to drive home, which makes sure I only have one drink. I kind of hate staying over at people's houses. It's always a bit weird in the morning. But I would like to have a whole beer this time, not just drink half of it... My friend wants to see me get a little smashed on beer like what happened on my Europe trip.  But that was really pathetic. I had one Corona, probably about a half of some else's Corona and then a Heineken. After that, I had some trouble walking straight (I could if I concentrated really hard!) and by the time I made it back to my room and lay down, the ceiling was spinning considerably fast. Now, as much as it makes a funny story and was fun for awhile, I don't really want to be getting into that state in a club. And that was only after two and half beers! So. I dunno. Maybe I'll just go and see what happens. The only downfall will probably be if my friend decides to stay forever, I have to wait around for her so I can get back to her place. |
I quit! Yup, I resigned from my job on Thursday and finished up Friday. You're supposed to give one week's notice and I was happy to stay for the following week if needed but my boss said it wasn't really necessary and I could leave the following day if I wanted. I totally wanted. So I did!  I told her I had been offered a new job, which is semi-true, so they gave me a little send off with wine and a "Congrats on your new job!" card which everyone signed. It felt kind of weird, but I don't think there was any love lost. I only lasted 7 weeks, but it felt like much longer.As for the other job, I have my half-day trial tomorrow morning and if that goes well, then I have a 10 day trial after that. I'm trying not to worry, but I have a habit of doing so it seems! I just want it to go well and not be too stressful. I'm sure I'll be able to do the work, but it's possible I might run into something I'm not familiar with. I just need to prove that I'm as good as my portfolio suggests, but I designed all that 1-3 years ago! It's stressful starting a new job and now I'm doing it all over again. GAH! But you know what? If I don't get it, I'm still happy I'm no longer working at my old job. I was kidding myself - I wasn't happy there and it was unlikely I was ever going to be. I have a good feeling about this new one though. Providential. |
| The interview went fine. The interviewer was a bit old and very casual, which kind of explains the odd (read: illegal) questions over the phone. The job seems okay enough - I do worry that my skills are a little rusty. But nevertheless, he was absolutely thrilled with me and loved my portfolio. He got the girl who would essentially be my day to day boss to come in and have a look after seeing it, and raved about it. He showed me around and introduced me to everyone, and wants me to do a half-day on Monday to start off with followed by a 10 day trial. This is all well and good, however I am left with a dilemma! Firstly, how do I get Monday morning off? The half-day finishes at 12pm, so living so far from my current work there isn't really any point going in after that. I wouldn't get there until probably 3pm. So I am planning to say I have an appointment I can't cancel so is it okay if I take Monday as a personal leave day. I'm really nervous about it... I'm not sure they will believe me. I faked my sickie this morning really well and I'm pretty sure I sold it well. But going for another one is probably a bit suss. On the other hand, I could just quit now. The only problem is if the job doesn't work out, then I'm unemployed again. Which you know, would suck, but I don't want to stay there anyway. So I'm not sure what to do. I'm also really worried this new job thinks I'm better than I am. I haven't designed anything in quite some time and I am worried I won't be able to live up to expectations. There is not a lot of actual design training, but more so general training in terms of day to day responsibilities. I will have to try and brush up on my skills over the weekend and at nights but it's so nerve-wracking! I still feel like a junior in terms of my design skills. Often I can pull things off better than I expect, but I can definitely fall into some trouble sometimes when I simply don't know how to do a task in a program. But I will take tomorrow to think, go to work, and see what happens. I don't have to say anything just yet. |
| Life is definitely odd. You wouldn't believe it, but this morning I got a call from that job I applied for last night! I applied at almost midnight and he called at 9am. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I mean, he could have called during work) he called on my way to work walking amidst all the rushing and surging crowd of workers. I was already late because of the stupid train, so I was trying to talk and walk at the same time then eventually gave up and stopped. I ended up walking into work 10 minutes late and they weren't happy about it. When I apologised for being late I got a "uh-huh" response from my boss. Sheesh. But I was happy as anything so I didn't care. There is only one slight problem. While on the phone, he asked me pretty general questions about my previous work and he was fairly casual, but then he asked my age. Which you're not meant to do, that's fairly common knowledge. It invites discrimination. But I thought "whatever" and answered, and then conversation continued a little more and it turns out we live in the same town... and then he asked if I was married. I'm like "uhhh..." So while I shrugged off the age question, I thought this one was a little more prying and not relevant at all. So I basically said "well, no, but how exactly is that relevant to the job?" He quickly apologised and said he was just making conversation, which I suppose may have been true but still, it's a little weird. The interview is tomorrow so I will go with my eyes wide open and alarm bells ready to ring! Being tomorrow, I'll have to fake a sickie. I was hoping to have dentist appointment or something, but I figured it seems a little suss to suddenly have an appointment and leave early. It's the kind of thing you let them know in advance. So I'll just have to call in sick. Luckily, there is something going around at the moment being the start of autumn and the weather is cooling down. I was thinking I'll go for gastro. Having a migraine is a little weak because they'll be likely to say "well, suck it up, take some Nurofen and get your butt on the train." If I literally can't make it through the train ride, then my plan is fool-proof! I hate lying though. I've faked a sickie before, and I usually try to make myself think I'm sick. Like cough a little and slouch. Hopefully they won't question me too much! So yeah. How nuts is that? It's crazy how last night I was praying (I just needed to talk) and I was kind of whinging to God about not liking my job and why did he send me there in the first place, and if this job I applied for is meant to work out then may something happen soon. He certainly works fast!! I'm really trying not to get my hopes up. But I really want this job. I want to walk in there and it be totally fantastic, and I get it. On the spot!! lol. So maybe not. But you never know... after all, life is especially odd right now. |
| Last week went quite differently than expected. As life usually does! The boss certainly was back and as I expected, nothing that happened the week before was brought up. She seems the type to not dwell on past events - it's not very business like. She's all about moving forward and making money. But not moving forward in a good way, more like an army tanker. Roll over everything and who cares what's left in your wake! Last week, they sent all my work to China and made me ring clients all week asking how their last advertising went. Then try and sell them more advertising. It was so mind-numbingly boring. I almost fell asleep at one point. I was wondering what was going on considering my job is internet based and that's what was being sent to China to do. So I got my boss to have a meeting with me and asked... she told me they are introducing a "build your own artwork" scheme and my work is being used to test it. And on top of that, we are moving into the 'next phase' of my job where it becomes 50% advertising work and 50% customer service. Oh. Great. Basically, if I don't like talking to clients on the phone then I should leave now. It's not that I don't like talking to them, it's just not what I want to do with my career. Customer service is fine, but selling is another thing. She insists it's not selling, but customer service... but you know, not really. She wants me to get more advertising. That's called selling. And I have to do this next week too, and they are going to make me write scripts so I know what to say over the phone. GAH! I hate this sort of stuff. So tonight I applied for my first "I-already-have-a-job-but-am-applying-for-one-behind-my-bosses-back" job. It makes me feel really sneaky! But I have my fingers crossed about it. It seems decent enough. It's in signage doing graphic design like my other job and they're asking for graduates or people with some experience. I'm going to ring them during the week (in my lunch break!) and ask if they got my application and just basically chase. Anyway, back to the crap day job tomorrow. I'm sure this week will be just as crap as last week. And it's getting really cold and dark too, so that's makes it soooo much better.  Not to mention that guy on Facebook has been on, and has not said a word to me. PFFFT! How frustrating. Oh well, I can still use him to daydream with on the train to pass the time. |
| Oh, I am a shocker. I wait around for boys and I barely know I do it! I am by no means a chaser, so instead I just sit and wait for them to come to me. *sigh* I'm not sure it's even necessarily a fear of rejection just simply something ingrained in me that I do. So, here I am... just waiting. I don't mind. Though I get so frustrated. But the longer I wait, the more it fades and is forgotten about. It happened once already this year. I was totally into this guy from New Years and he seemed interested and then he added me on Facebook (I think I blogged about this) but then after that it all pretty much died. I commented on his status once but I'm not sure he got my sense of humour. Which, you know, if that's the way he's inclined then it's probably better off we stay apart! At least this new guy who added me laughed when I called him a stalker (but seriously, how did he find me when he has no mutual friends and didn't know my surname? Stalker indeed!) But I just wish he'd be on Facebook more to chat. I'd totally even start the conversation. Maybe. Other than that - really, really, really, really not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow. Not just because it's work, but because I may have to deal with the boss. I'm not sure if she'll bring the events of Friday up -I'm actually thinking probably not- but you never know. I may get brought in for my monthly review and God knows what will happen then. A big part of me really wants to just quit. It's far from a healthy work environment and I know I won't be able to stand it forever. But we'll see. I may even get home early enough to write something here to talk about it! |
| Oh, it's been just over a month since I last wrote! *tsk tsk* I am thoroughly enjoying this long Easter break. It is much needed and well-deserved for sticking out my job for one whole month!! That's right, you heard me, I managed to stick it out. I wouldn't say I'm loving it now, but things are more comfortable and I'm managing. It also helped that a new girl returned from her holidays to be my new 'second-in-charge' boss. I work with her on a daily basis and she is much better to work with than what I went through when I first arrived. However, the big boss is still there and not the nicest person in the world. Thankfully, for the past couple weeks she has been in an overseas office so I have enjoyed her absence immensely! Unfortunately, she is due to return after Easter and will most likely move office seats to sit right near me. Oh joy. Not to mention I got in serious trouble Friday for numerous things - not all of which was my doing, but yet I still have to bear the brunt for it. Actually, some of it was her own fault but she is the type to never own up to her own mistakes. She's a massive powerhead and everything must go her way. My main issue with working there at the moment is the fact I am working my arse off to put money in her pocket and make her richer, while I get a minimum wage for what? To work unpaid overtime every week and eat dinner at quarter to ten at night. Friday just really made me angry. You're so under appreciated in the job it's just nuts. The boss doesn't appreciate you and it's pretty rare to get a thankyou from a client. I don't know though - we'll see how we go. My other issue is the travel factor. It takes me an hour plus on the train to get there (and then back again) and I'm wondering how worth it it is. I can handle it for awhile but soon I'll be wanting to move... but if I move it means I have to commit to this job. And I'm about 70% sure I don't want to do that. This is not the career I saw for myself and it's not something I truly enjoy. It's temporary for sure. But then, getting another job is kind of in the 'too hard' basket at the moment. Anyway. Onto other topics!!  Other things have been happening, albeit not too much, but things have happened. I went on a weird blind double date last week. Okay, so it wasn't really... but it felt like it a bit. Awkwardness and all. My friend texts me asking me if I wanted to go out bowling Saturday night, so I say sure why not, and she says she will ask some other friends if they would like to come. Sure, I say! More the merrier. She texts me back saying this guy she knew in primary school who she randomly ran into recently is coming. I say... okay, that's great but is just the three of us going to be weird? She says he might bring a mate along. So I get there and she's waiting for me with these two guys. In about two seconds, I pick up there must be something going on between my friend and her school friend. So great. Automatically, we are split into two groups. So we have dinner, go bowling, and during bowling they are all over each other. Wow - somebody could have mentioned this to me!! We go to the toilets and she innocently assures me they are just friends. Pffft, friends my freaking eye. The other guy asks me if I knew about them...lol...is my surprise that transparent? I say no and he's like, oh really, I've known for awhile. Eh, what?! *raises eyebrow* My goodness, boys gossip more than girls these days. So anyway, we had fun. It was a bit weird at times though. You know how when you're with a couple and they're clearly pretty engrossed in themselves. Yeah, it was a bit like that. Not wanting to interfere, there is only one other person to talk to! My friend insists it wasn't a setup... yet asked about five times if I wanted me to pass along my number and/or get his? I went to see How To Train Your Dragon 3D today. It is such a sweet movie! I also saw Avatar in 3D, which was my first 3D experience, and I think I liked it a tad better. But How To Train Your Dragon is pretty good. I'm quite liking the 3D thing, except the glasses sit weird on my face. I have quite a small face so they're absolutely huge on me. I wish they made kiddie sizes! Anyway, only one more day of Easter holidays left and then back to work. *sniffles* How very depressing! |
| Second day and I'm still not really enjoying it. I feel like I've been thrown into the deep end... I know they don't think I have because in the interview they prided themselves on the fact this isn't a sink or swim job and I get full training. Well, the training involves my boss coming over occasionally and going through some things. Everyone has their own work to do and I don't really feel like I can ask questions without interrupting. I basically feel like an annoyance to her - like she has her own work, and then when I ask will come and help quickly, go "so have you got that?" and already start to move off. It's like... well, no I don't! It's my second day!! They've put my name to clients already and told them I'll be looking after them - I don't know what to do with these people or anything. It's just really weird. I'm floundering so badly. I'm just trying to remember everything, let alone really understand it. I feel like she is expecting me to remember everything just because she told or showed me once before. That's stupid! I don't know what to do. I'll make up my mind after the two weeks, but honestly if I decide to stay it will be just for the job. I don't really see myself enjoying this very much. There isn't a lot of enjoyment to find - there's no real job satisfaction. You get ads printed in the paper or online. Yippee. It's not a big deal. I don't want to be a quitter... but it's tough right now. And then a part of me is just wondering if it's laziness. I'm so used to being casual in life and not working so hard. Mum thinks that if after two weeks, I'm dreading every day and not enjoying it at all then just leave. Anyway. Have to sleep. Only get about 2 hours of free-time a day.  |
| So today was my first day of work and it was awful. I was almost in tears by lunch (which was at 2pm). I'm just so overwhelmed and stressed. I don't really know what I'm doing there. The job involves a little more than I expected - apparently I'm called an account manager not an advertising consultant like I thought. There is also not a single Mac computer in sight - I'm positive I was told in the interview they use Macs. I'm also expected to write copy for ads, which basically means writing the ad for someone. I wasn't aware of this. The vibe in the office is kind of weird... it's not completely together and not really friendly, but not entirely unfriendly. I really don't know if I want to do this job. Not to mention I got home at 7:30pm because I live so damn far away from the city. I feel like I've joined the rat race!!! Me and hundreds of other people catching the train doing the same thing day in, day out. Is life really this boring? I feel quite lost. One good thing happened today: I got two lovely emails from the SM reminding me that today is my 6th account birthday for WdC!! YAY! It also meant I got 6,666 GPs... not too sure about that one! lol. |
| The way life can change in the space of 24 hours is staggering! I didn't get the job I mentioned in my previous entry. I was feeling a bit bummed by that and I haven't done much in the last two weeks...until...the company rings me up Wednesday and says they have a different (but very similar) position they would like to offer me. So I go in to meet with them yesterday and I got the job and start Monday! It's all very sudden and overwhelming. I don't know if I will enjoy the job or what's going to happen but there's a four week training and probation period where I'll find out. It's very scary though. The other thing is that it's right in the city which is an hour train travel for me. I know I will have to move if it works out but for the beginning, I know this is going to be really exhausting. My days will basically be 6am to 7pm. I'll just have to be responsible and go to bed early! Not a lot of free time. As well as the emotional stress of it, I think I'm going to be so burned out. I guess I'd want to move as soon as possible but that's scary too!! I think I want to wait until I'm settled a bit into the job. I don't think starting a new job and moving at the same time would be good, regardless of travel time. So anyway, just checking in. I'm really nervous but trying not to be. At the start of the year, I said I wanted to get a job and move out. And I do. But geez, not all at once. And I never said a job right in the city... I was thinking, ideally, it could be out of the city and I could live maybe 20 minutes/half hour away. I do like the city though. I like the vibe of it. And working in the city makes me feel professional and grown-up. lol. I don't know if I want to be grown-up, but it seems like it's unavoidable! I do feel cool when I'm wearing my work clothes and have a coffee in my hand. I don't know how long that will last. I suspect soon you'll feel like you're just blending into the crowd. So wish me luck! I'm going to do my best. |
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