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 |  Little scraps of my life... my blog. |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Thanks to GG very happy  for this sig! |
| It's way too late to be blogging, but I've been sitting up playing in Photoshop with ideas swirling around my head. I've been trying to think of sigs to make for an auction I may or may not be holding soon... and then I decided I'd like to try my hand at blending images together to create a "new world". The first I tried didn't quite look as blended as I'd like, so I took a break, came back and found that beautiful misty photo and thought it looked very mythical and mysterious. So this is what I created... I thought I'd share because though I look at it and see things I could change (as usual), I'm quite fond of it.  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** "Fantasy World" |
Time keeps moving on Through the sunshine and the storm And my dreams are set in stone And someday I’ll be who I want to be For now I’ll wait For the sun to shine again And for now I’ll wait For the rain to pass away And I’m looking for the brighter days When all my hurts seem to fade away I’m looking for the brighter days to come my way Faces come and faces go But none seem to look my way And walls have stood and walls have fallen But my heart seems to wait For now I’ll sit at the end of the road And for now I’ll wait At the end of the pathway I’ll see the sun one day shine upon me I’ll see the sun one day And watch the night-time turn to morning But for now it all comes back around And I’m looking for the brighter days When all my hurts seem to fade away I’m looking for the brighter days to come my way  Brighter Days - Leeland |
| I finally took the plunge. I did something I thought I'd never do... I'm torn up inside with indecision, should I or shouldn't have I? Did I make the right choice? Will it all work out? I don't know. We will have to wait and see. Hmm, are you thinking I got back together with C? Had sex with C? No and no. But I bought something online!  Two secondhand books, which ignoring the few bad reviews I read about the website, will arrive on my doorstep within the week. I suppose it depends on the seller. I swear I'm going to have nightmares about my identity being stolen or my credit card being used dry in sex shop. Or maybe they'll just take my money and never send me the books! *has a panic attack*Oh. And I did something else. I bought a brand new car!  |
| Why do I attract people with problems? Why? It's been happening since I can remember. I went shopping with Mum yesterday and we had an ice coffee, and I started talking about my friend with her MS and wanting to visit her in the hosipital. Mum's like, 'sooo, how's C?' And then she's like, 'heard from Sarah lately?' Hmmm. We sit and think - and wonder why all my friends have so many freakin' problems! My first best friend in grade 5, Jess, 'broke up' with me because she thought I was talking about her behind her back or something and decided she'd rather hang out with the in crowd. Okay, so that's pretty normal for two 11 year olds. Primary school girls are really bitchy, come to think of it. But then my other friend bought me one half of a best friends necklace so I had a new best friend. Oh, the simple times. Then the two Sarah's at school. My best friend who was adopted and had issues with it, had all sorts of emotional problems, who eventually went on anti-depressants, used to not talk to me for weeks without explanation and do nasty things and never say sorry, never let me borrow a pen without me having to beg (bit possessive) and then never really found her way after school until she finally opened a business with her mum and forgot about me. Yeah, bitch. Slightly bitter. What a waste of my friendship. But I still have her Gilmore Girls Season 1 DVD from like, 2 years ago. Should I post it? Drop it in her letterbox? Just drop by one day? Visit her at work? Keep it! The other Sarah at school was fine, except for the fact her parents were in the process of divorcing, her dad was verbally abusive and her brother had a congenital heart condition and he eventually passed away... Move along to uni and I met Paul. Now, Paul was probably my first close male friend which adds a whole new element to having emotional problems. Men deal with things in a completely different way. I'd like to mention right now that I'm so glad I'm female. Paul has a whole collection of issues. He could win awards. Things with Paul were never simple. He had family problems, he'd been living alone since he was 19 with a cat and his main goal in life is to find 'womanage'. Womanage that will never be me. Ever. I thought he liked me... turned out he didn't. He conveniently ignored any obvious signs he gave me and told me I was silly for ever thinking so. Okay. I can deal with being silly.  But regardless of being high on my list of friends with issues, I consider him a really good friend.My friend at work who I've just come to properly realise is a huge pain in the arse. Sure, she's a good friend, but she too has serious issues! She's actually a lot like C. Very insecure. I like her but I couldn't deal with her on a daily basis. I've always known she talks behind your back, gossips and lies. She basically talks a whole lot of shit. When I took the day off for the funeral the other day, she said she would cover for me and do a double shift. I didn't really who did my shift, as long as someone did it. So I'm like, great. I asked her how she found it afterwards, just in conversation. And she's all, oh yeah yeah, I did my normal area first and then yours... I quite like your area yada yada. Cool. That's great. Then this other girl I work with randomly says to me, 'oh, I worked every day last week. I even did your shift when you went to the funeral.' Huh? She was adamant she did my shift, we checked the dates and everything. She totally did my shift. So why the hell would my other friend lie? I don't care if she didn't do it! Asking someone else isn't a crime. I think she lies a lot. I'm starting to think she's one of these compulsive liars... So anyway. Yay for all my friends with problems. I have more too, just not as close. Why do attract them? They all seem normal at first, then I get to know them... Maybe it's just that everyone has baggage? Maybe I seem like I don't have problems? And I don't think I do, really. I feel perfectly fine, I'm just always bloody whinging about those around me. I should become a hermit. And don't think I haven't forgotten C. He's my newest addition to my collection. He wants to visit. I know he wants to visit to try and patch things up and make us work. He joked he would come and pressure me for sex because hey, he thinks having sex would fix so many of our problems. Uh, yeah, sure. Doubt it. I warned him that coming to visit may not change anything and it will turn into a goodbye visit. He says he knows that. Should I let him come? I don't think I'll see him and turn into a pile of mush. I mean, I might to begin with, but it's hard to forget what's happened. And you can't tell me that how he reacts to things so badly isn't going to be a trend. It's a character trait, it doesn't disappear. It would be good to actually speak face to face for once and do this properly. I just don't know. I'm a bit torn. I think if he knows that things still might not work if he visits then it will be okay... |
| Okay, round two! *ignores pleas of deja vu coming from brain* Things That Have Happened to Twink Recently On Friday the 13th, I went to a funeral. Of my great aunt. But we missed the funeral. We were told 3pm, but when we got there we walked in an empty church hall and heard "forever and ever more, amen." Uhh, umm, that sounds much like the end of a service... we all think rather suspiciously. It was, we missed it by an hour and a half. One of my relatives got the time wrong, so most on my side of the family turned up late. But we still got to catch up with everyone so it was okay. Just a pity. Speckles also died. Poor dear little Speckles.  He was sick though, so I guess he's out of his misery. My dad thinks he was an old bird, but I think the pet shop sold us a sick bird and an old bird! I think he was sick right from the beginning. He's always been weird. I'm more worried about the other birds now and keeping a close eye on them. And this time, if anything seems amiss with one, I'm taking it out. I bought a small cage for this very purpose. It's just a matter of catching it without being pecked to death...My friend from TAFE was diagnosed with MS. It's really sad because she's so young, but she's had problems with her knees and walking and lots of other problems too. At least now they know exactly what's wrong and hopefully can get her on the right treatment and she can work at getting stronger. She's in rehab right now doing physio to improve her walking. I don't really know how to cheer her up, though I think she's doing a bit better now. I joked that being in rehab makes her sound like a celeb.  I've been talking to C a bit lately. He's all over the place. I have been so miserable recently and so lonely that I just want him back. I want the good times back - the cuddles, all the lovely happy things. I've almost taken him back a few times, actually, I think I might have once. But we both know it just isn't going to work. One minute he wants me back, I'm the love of his life, he's acting normally and sane and mature.... and the next it's all downhill and he's saying all this stuff and that I'm the one with all the issues. This generally happens because I want him back and then realise that it won't work even though I want it so badly. I just feel so lonely. I want a hug more than anything. And not any hug, a hug from C. I'm so pathetic. And what's the most upsetting is that he has decided that he doesn't want God in his life. He says Christianity "isn't for him" and it just "doesn't fit into his life". It's such a cop-out and it just breaks my heart. As soon as he told me, I was a flood of tears. But I still think God has a plan for him and is working in his heart, it just wasn't the time right now. It just makes me feel so helpless. I want more than anything for him to know God, but there's just nothing I can do about it right now. So, life hasn't been going particularly well, but I'm doing okay! I have this book I bought the other day, which is keeping my mind occupied before I go to bed. It's amusing, light-hearted chick lit. Just what the doctor ordered. It's called The Secret Dreamworld of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella. It's just really easy, flimsy reading and keeps me entertained. I really enjoy funny, girly books.  And a big thankyou to everyone's efforts to cheer me up. You guys are awesome. ((((((hugs all)))))) |
I can't believe I just wrote all that and then "Firefox unexpectedly quit."  Edit: I'll re-write tomorrow, I'm too tired now! |
| I think it has been overlooked in my blog that I got some budgies! Okay, so I forgot to mention it. Here they are - welcome Buzz, Sweetie, Greenie, Speckles, Bluebell and Sunshine to the family! ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** I made this signature for another forum - I have photos but this is nice and small, so those with dial-up don't have to wait forever for six photos to load! They're actually technically my mum's birds. We had a budgie years ago, Bluey, who lived for about 15 years so one day Mum decided she'd like another... which somehow turned into six! They're in an outside aviary - okay, I may as well put a picture of that up as well. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Buzz, Sweetie and Greenie arrived first for Christmas. Me and my two sisters all chipped in for mum's present. Then we thought for such a big cage, three wasn't really enough and Buzz was becoming a bit of a loner. So my sister bought Bluebell - he looks a lot like our old Bluey. Then we decided we'd like another, so we got Speckles. But Speckles is a bit weird. We think he's clinically depressed (either that or we got ripped off with an old bird). The others pick on him and he just mopes around and sleeps. He's probably sick, but I haven't been game to catch him yet. To try and resolve the problem of Speckles, I read up a bit and saw that uneven numbers aren't a good idea. So I spotted Sunshine and I've always wanted an all yellow budgie, so I bought him (possibly her, not sure yet!) So that's my budgies! My favourite is Buzz (named by me, woohoo) and Sunshine. Buzz is just slightly crazy, she's a huge scaredy-cat but so pretty and so cute. I named her Buzz because when they were first put in the aviary, the others just sat there while Buzz flew around and around and up and down and back again. I wanted to name her Schizo, but I wasn't allowed.  Sunni is the most tame of them all and will quite happily nibble on my finger (ouch sometimes though! ) and always gets to the food first. Greenie is the dominant male, he's the biggest - his girlfriend is Sweetie (I see budgie babies on the horizon) and he protects Speckles, awww. |
| They captured me! Thanks to whoever nominated me, I'm so pleased! I put "Invalid Item"  as my chosen charity, so hopefully I can raise heaps of funds for it.** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** |
| Well, I've had a shitty day, I'm in a shitty mood and just generally rather miserable. I'd love to rant about it but eh, can't be stuffed... So instead, when I read Z.˚rz 's blog entry "Invalid Entry" , I was reminded of a book my sister gave me last Christmas. It's called Bloom's Bouquet of Imaginary Words by Jeffery and Carole Bloom. The idea is to take a normal word and add a letter, change a letter or take one away and create a new word. It's so cute, and so highly entertaining. Here are some highlights:Shelfish: A self-involved crustacean. Scentiment: Aroma that evokes heartfelt memories. Cactush: Accidentally sitting on a succulent. Sexpectant: Anticipating the first night of a honeymoon. Sircumcision: Cutting the foreskin of a knight. Plumpkin: Rotund squash. Gasparagus: Flatulence-inducing vegetable. Anonymouse: Rodent with no name. Blandscape: Boring picture of a desert. Therapewtic: Sitting on a cushion during Sunday services. Flashion: A passing trend. Clausetrophobia: Fear of making changes in a formal document. Handiclap: Anatomical abnormality resulting in an inability to applaud. Stuffocate: To die from overeating. Hikerarchy: The order in which one climbs. Hemogoblin: A blood-sucking monster. Penvious: Jealous of another writer's work. Violince: A stringed instrument played with great passion.  |
| My trip to New Zealand was wonderful. At first, it was a little overwhelming being on my own but then when I met up with the tour group and got to know some familiar faces, so it got better. The first day on the bus, I randomly sat down next to this girl and we got talking, got along, and from then on we were bus buddies and room buddies! And it turns out she's a Christian too, which I only found out later thanks to Facebook. It was good to have a friend, and a dozen or so other people and we all stuck together more or less. Actually, the whole group was really nice. Mostly British, a few Canadians, a couple Europeans, some other Australians and one New Zealander - lol. The South Island was first for me and what can I say, it was beautiful. Contrary to popular belief, it had fantastic weather for the week we were there. Cold, but still sunny. This photo is Lake Tekapo, I think that was on our first or second day of the trip. It's probably my favourite shot of the whole trip really. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Skip ahead a bit to Queenstown - the adventure capital! You can do whatever extreme activity you like: white water rafting, skydiving, bunjy jumping... there's heaps of (rather expensive) life-risking stuff to do. Did I do anything? Are you insane? Of course I didn't. Oh wait... there was that plane... ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Did I mention to anyone that I was considering going skydiving? Actually, when I left, it was more of a "eh...maybe, you never know" kind of thought, not really a set in stone thing. And then when it came to the point of decision, my friend was feeling a bit the same so we just decided together that we'd go because if we didn't, we'll never do it. Which is true! I doubt I would have come back home and sought it out myself. So I made the decision and stuck with it. And surprisingly, I wasn't like peeing my pants with fear or anything. I was nervous, but okay. I know to some people jumping out of a plane is the most terrifying thing you can do, but how can it be that bad? You are strapped to a professional and you have a parachute (probably two, but I didn't get time to ask too many questions like I thought I would be! You get suited up, have a talk for like 10 minutes and you're in the plane!) I wasn't really thinking much of anything... just doing what I was told. Then I was told to shuffle to the edge of the plane and put my feet over the edge and I'm like oh shit. But I was still fine. I was fine until the second we jumped out (well, fell out) and I swear to God, you KNOW you're plummeting to the ground. That's exactly what it feels like. I kept thinking I was going to throw up because the rush of air was so forceful and I didn't want to open my mouth. lol. Anyway, it was good fun! There is another photo here: "Invalid Item" Everything else I did seems like a let-down after that now! But I also did something mega-cool, and that was to hike on a glacier. Crampons, pole and all. It was bloody hard work too, all that stomping around. And it was pouring rain! I thought they were going to call it off, but nope, carry on we did all decked up in raincoats and waterproof pants and the heaviest boots I've ever worn. But it was quite an experience! Exhausting but definitely worth it. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** And there's another photo if you'd like to see it: "Invalid Item" I have lots of other photos if anyone's interested! |
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