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372 Public Reviews Given
380 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I mostly use a template that covers different areas of the writing. I look for punctuation, grammar, and other technical writing skills. I will be honest with you in a very respectful manner. I may offer to assist you with making edits. This option depends on the length of the item and whether I believe you need the assistance or not. Some edits may just need to be pointed out as typos or something you overlooked.
I'm good at...
Catching changes of tenses in writing. Often times writers tend to switch from present tense to past tense. I tend to catch grammatical and punctuation errors quite easily as well.
Favorite Genres
All
Least Favorite Genres
Extreme horror or gore
Favorite Item Types
I truly enjoy writing that is from the heart; the innermost emotion that oftentimes can be difficult to share with others. I enjoy knowing how the writer feels or is dealing with what they are writing about.
Least Favorite Item Types
I do not enjoy extreme gore and dislike excessive profanity.
I will not review...
Anything that uses The Lord's name in vain or containing excessive profanity.
Public Reviews
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26
26
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)
A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: As a person with arthritis in my lower spine from a childhood injury, I appreciate the information and tips you have here. It is true, that not all arthritis has to be treated with medications (mine is not); however, there are many who cannot function without medications. I appreciate the fact that your article is written from the perspective of pursuing healthier options, which is always wise.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Your article is well written. Your technical skills are strong, but I would suggest adding another space between the paragraphs for an easier read. I would also suggest indenting each paragraph.

Parting Comments: I am glad you have found the pool to be therapeutic. I have as well, but I tell ya... On the rare occasion that I have a flare, this chic can't even walk until I have had several weeks of electric shock therapy done. I thank the good Lord above for my physical therapist!!

Thank you for sharing and contributing to the medical community here on the site. I hope you will be encouraged to share more information and insights for us to read and learn, in the future. Thank you for allowing me to review your work.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
27
27
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
How the writing made me feel: Your poem of an advanced level of diabetes melted my heart for you. It is horid to have to balance life around checking and balancing. You have done an excellent job of detailing your norm in a poem.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Indirectly. A friend of mine at church has the monitor and insulin pump. I understand the poem all too well from watching her go through it.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, your words drew me in and I wanted to understand what you were telling me. Those finger sticks are horrible.

Were the characters believable? Self expression, yes, it is your norm.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, it has frustration and anxiety that comes alive within the lines.

What I liked most: Expressing how you feel about your struggle with the daily monitoring. Writing is such a wonderful way to dump our emotions.

What I liked least: N/A - Except that you have diabetes. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

Did anything stand out? Your frustration.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? No, you have done a wonderful job.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, I want to forward this to my friend who faces the same issues.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
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Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
28
28
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
To say this poem took an unexpected twist would be a huge understatemtn.

A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: This poem leads one to believe there is evil and darkness lurking under the bed, I guess in an odd sort of way there is. It is not the snake or monster of the normal expectancy that lurks though.

Poetic Tool Box: Your rhyme is well done, but there are a few places where the meter seemed a little off to me. This could just be my tired mind at this point.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not take note of any errors, actually thought this was really well done.

Parting Comments: I like items that lead you to expect one thing and the end result is something completely different. Good job.

Thank you for sharing your poem and allowing me to review you. I do hope you do not fall out of the bed on your head when you try to get the monster from under your bed.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
29
29
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi New Friend... um, I mean foe... Here to review you again!

How the writing made me feel: This is a cute, yet CHEESY sonnet as you already knew; however, with a tweak here or there could actually be a decent song commercial for the Painted Parrot. Silly, cute.

Did the plot interest me? Silly, but fun. I was interested in finding out what was being offered and why.

Did the item flow naturally? There were a few hang-ups for me. For example, you used flowerpot to rhyme with pot (a pot is a pot so same word) You are wonderful with finding rhymes so I am sure you could find a suitable way to change one of them.

What I liked most: The playfulness. It is great to see that side of you in poems such as this and the one about the hamster.. It doesn't make you ... In all seriousness this could be a jingle for a pottery shop!!

What I liked least: It is a tad forced, you know this as you have made your own comments in regard to it, but it is still a cute moment of comedy amidst all this grueling hard work here at GoT.

Did anything stand out? The playfulness of the sonnet... If you don't like trying new things... Go ahead and say what you were thinking.. GO ELSEWHERE!!! *Laugh*

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Only the double "pot"

Was the writing memorable? Comically so, needed the chuckle, you are often good for that!!

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
30
30
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
How the writing made me feel: What a lovely tribute to your late friend, I am sorry for your loss but your words show and tell how much you adored him. Was he a veteran by chance or diabetic? I found myself caring about the person who had touched you so deeply.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, I have loved and lost people that it seemed no one else could understand the pain. Again, I am sorry you lost someone you clearly cared so deeply for.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, compassion at its finest.

Were the characters believable? Self emotion and admiration for your neighbor is very believable.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, this is a lovely tribute.

What I liked most: The level of love and emotion in your words.

What I liked least: N / A

Did anything stand out? How deeply you care.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? No, self expression is beautiful. Your writing is a way of healing and you have put together a lovely piece in his honor.

Was the writing memorable? Anyone who has lost a loved one holds on to pieces such as this. It tends to remind us to treasure all that we have in the moment. Thank you for that.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
31
31
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
How the writing made me feel: As a mom to a soon to be 19 year old daughter this poem hurt my heart. I know all too well the emotional roller coaster life has been with her, but it seems there is a deeper message in your poem. Maybe if you are comfortable sharing what inspired this beautiful yet sad piece you will.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, as stated above there has been an emotional roller coaster with my daughter as well.

Did the plot interest me? Yes. You drew me in and made me want to know the story behind the poem.

Were the characters believable? Absolutely. Self and daughter.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, the poem flows well and is filled with emotion. Well, it is filled with information that brings out the emotion.

What I liked most: Your expression of love and concern for your daughter. You not only share with us in words, but we can feel your emotions as we read.

What I liked least: It isn't a poem issue - I would have liked a sentence or two explaining why you wrote the poem... No, it isn't required but I wanted to understand.

Did anything stand out? A mother's love always stands out.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? No, I love it just as it is. Thank you for sharing this, it truly touched me.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, it is a poem I could see me revisiting and reading again.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
32
32
Review of Writing.Com 101  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi - would you believe this popped up as a random read and review?

I am not new here, but this item is packed to the brim with useful information. It explains the star rating system, gives guidelines to great reviewing, and so much more. You know this because you own the piece.

I am glad this piece is here to come back to when I have a question about something or if anyone asks me a question I do not know the answer to. It is nice to have a place to refer them to.

The technical side of this is absolutely perfect, but I am sure you would be surprised if an error was pointed out seven years after this item was created. We all make mistakes, but that would be a long time for a mistake to go unnoticed on such a popular page.

Being as this popped up and I decided to review it, I also want to take this opportunity to once again thank you and SM for such a wonderful writing world. This place is such a blessing to many -not only for writing, but for building friendships and having fun.

Thank you for all you do.

A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers





You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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33
33
Review of Walk of Life  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.0)


A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: This is a beautiful poem about life and how we should behave for ourselves and others. It also serves as a powerful reminder that change starts with us. This is a wonderful message, and for that I say job well done. This is a poem I would share with others, especially the youth who are around me.

Poetic Tool Box: The poem has a few hiccups, but still is very powerful. I would encourage you to spend a little time tweaking this and make it as perfect as you can for yourself. It is amazingly powerful, build on it and show it off!

A few suggestions I have are: Count your meters off and try to get them to match so the flow is more natural and flows a little more easily. Care & fear do not rhyme, I am only pointing this out because all of your other stanzas do rhyme, so I feel it may be an overlooked mistake.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: You could add punctuation between the stanzas, but I believe that is more of a personal preference. I do on some and don't on others.

Parting Comments: I think I have said it all, this is a piece to be proud of. I am not sure what inspired you to write it, but I am glad you did.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
34
34
Review of My Yesterdays  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
How the writing made me feel: Your work never ceases to amaze me. I am impressed with how you can take what would be simple sentences and phrases and turn them into something magically poetic.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Absolutely, I believe that is why I like and appreciate this piece so much. I try to live with no regret, just learn from it. Appreciate the lessons learned, and treasure what matters most.

Did the plot interest me? Yes. Wonderful tribute to simply loving life and enjoying the yesterdays.

Were the characters believable? N/A to a degree. Self emotion and thoughts, very believable.

Did the item flow naturally? I was trying to figure out why you wrote this item the way you did until I got to the end. It works, it is poetic, it is beautiful.

What I liked most: The last line had me wowed.... For Yesterdays make up our lives... So true, and such a perfect perspective to have.

What I liked least: Nothing

Did anything stand out? As I mentioned already. The valuable reminder that our yesterdays make up our lives.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Add more :)(more like this, this is perfect as is)

Was the writing memorable? Absolutely, I want to share this with my daughter.

I always enjoy reading your work. I do not make it to your port often enough and see that I need to be intentional about do so.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
35
35
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You have written a beautiful sonnet expressing your reliance on The Lord. Your words flow beautifully. I enjoyed reading this and hope to read more of your work soon.

How the writing made me feel: I absolutely love poetry about God's grace and goodness. Isn't it wonderful how He just wraps us in His loving arms no matter where we are in life.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes, it is so humbling how He is strong when we are weak. Truth be known we are always weak, and the sooner we learn that an lean on Him and not our own understanding the better off we are.

Did the plot interest me? Absolutely. Spiritual poems and testimonies bless and encourage me so much. I was deeply moved by your words.

Were the characters believable? Character is self / spirit. Strongly developed. These are the deeper truths that develop our character in life as well. Job well done.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, you have written a beautiful sonnet. Pleasing to Him.

What I liked most: The spiritual essence, faith filled words. The flow is natural making this a true joy and honor to read.

What I liked least: Nothing.

Did anything stand out? Your love and reverence for The Lord.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? I did not take note of anything I would change.

Was the writing memorable? Yes. I need to check out your book for more poems like this!


Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
36
36
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I enjoyed this poem sooo much. This was the break I needed in my wonderful world of GoT'ing!

How the writing made me feel: Oh, what a sad, sad tale for the rejected unicorn BUT this is just too comical. I love how it is written in unicorn rainbow. I wish she had changed her mind and given in but love... oh love.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Can't we all relate to rejection? But, can't we all also relate to hope? Yes, I can relate to the sad, sad tale of the forlorn rejected unicorn.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, I found this unusually entertaining.

Were the characters believable? Yes, I smiled and laughed and then I was sad for the poor fella. Personality really pours out in this poem. I feel you have done a wonderful job with showing his heart and her attitude. Job well done!!

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, playfully so.

What I liked most: Taking this magical adventure was a seesaw of emotions. I wanted her to change her mind, but she was a stubborn ole biddy. He deserves better anyway. LOL

What I liked least: That he didn't get her, of course.

Did anything stand out? The creativity. This is wonderful.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? Yes, there needs to be a new chapter and he needs to win her... Life turns the pages, he can to!!

Was the writing memorable? Yes, comically so.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
37
37
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
How the writing made me feel: Wowed. You pack a powerful punch in such a short piece. I greatly appreciated the explanation as to why the item is short. Understanding that daily writings are not expected to be long I am super impressed with this.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? No, I am not a blood consumer. Still impressed with those of you who are though.. Bwahahaha... Excellent character development.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, I was drawn in and wanted more to read.

Were the characters believable? Yes, I normally would not read items in the fantasy area but if I read this a prologue I would have continued reading the piece.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, nothing was rushed or forced. Very well written for a short item.

What I liked most: Your ability to add such detail and imagery in few words. Powerful.

What I liked least: I wanted more.

Did anything stand out? I wanted more so DUH!

Is there anything I would change within the writing? I would consider writing a novel if I were you. I think you found your calling.

Was the writing memorable? Yes, this is an item I would come back to read if you told me you decided to turn it into a larger piece. I understand this is written for a daily writing prompt but you could expand on this and have a wonderful short story or more. I would like to encourage you to do that.... I am gonna crawl away now because I choose to not be the next victim.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
38
38
Review of The Corner  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
How the writing made me feel: Your item left me a little confused. I tried to figure out what the item was written for to figure it out but couldn't find it. It is well written, but seems to be incomplete. It may be written for a short word limit contest, but as a random read and review with no explanation it leaves me wanting answers. I hope this makes sense.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Not specifically with a corner and a phone, but yes. I think we all have those special moments we want to always remember, to capture it somehow. To relive it when we can.

Did the plot interest me? I was drawn in and then left.... abandoned

Were the characters believable? Self is the only character, is believable but could use a little more developing if this is an item that will be expanded.

Did the item flow naturally? Yes, no hang ups.

What I liked most: The mystery of understanding.

What I liked least: That I never found the answer to the mystery.

Did anything stand out? That I didn't figure out what was going on here. *Laugh*

Is there anything I would change within the writing? -

Was the writing memorable? Yes. This is an item that I would revisit if I was told it was added to or updated. I am thinking this was a flash fiction but it could be the start to something bigger and more grand. You just never know where the greatest starts may stem from.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
39
39
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.0)
How the writing made me feel: This is a cute story many children would enjoy. I would strongly encourage you to format this for easier reading. Considering there is quite a bit of dialogue, it is difficult to read as is.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? Yes. A lot of the stories I made up for my kids stemmed from things I had experienced so I could totally relate to Lilly going on an adventure like the one her grandpa had shared with her.

Did the plot interest me? Yes, Lilly's adventure was fun, especially meeting the unicorn.

Were the characters believable? I feel there should be more time spent on developing your characters. Remember, show not tell.

Did the item flow naturally? It is hard to tell with the current formatting. I feel it needs some work regardless.

What I liked most: How Lilly was so curious if the characters were the ones from her grandpa's story.

What I liked least: Lack of formatting.

Did anything stand out? Childhood innocence... the sweetness of Lilly's character.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? I would expand on the story by adding more character development and details. Format it as a story with multiple paragraphs and go from there. You are off to a wonderful start. A great story stems from starts like this.

Was the writing memorable? It would be if I were a little girl. Still very cute.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
40
40
Review of AN ODE TO WINTER  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (5.0)
How the writing made me feel: This is a lovely poem about winter. Makes me wish it was already here because I agree it is the King of all seasons.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? N/A with the exception that I agree.

Did the plot interest me? Yes.

Were the characters believable? N/A

Did the item flow naturally? Absolutely. Beautifully done.

What I liked most: The flow, rhyme, and meter.

What I liked least: There was not anything I disliked.

Did anything stand out? The whimsical, musical flow of your words. Your grand view of winter as king and majestic.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? No

Was the writing memorable? Yes, this is a poem I would revisit as I am looking for inspiration or poetic direction.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!


A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **



*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
41
41
Review of My Storoems  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi, I read your storoem and am here to give you a review.

How the writing made me feel: This storoem had me tickled. I read to the end although you clearly state most people don't read long poems.

Can I relate to the writing through a personal experience? I found this quite interesting but have never written anything like it.

Did the plot interest me? - Yes, it was all about writing and reading poems, storoems. Cute, twisty, different.

Were the characters believable? - N/A

Did the item flow naturally? - Not really but it is intentional for the style.

What I liked most: The part about the M&M's.*Laugh*

What I liked least: That I do not know this style. Is it a real thing?

Did anything stand out? - The personality of the author shining through. He will be famous for that someday.

Is there anything I would change within the writing? - No.

Was the writing memorable? - Yes. It's uniqueness makes it stand out which in turn makes it memorable.

I did not note anything I would change.

Please keep in mind these comments are strictly my opinion and should be taken as such. Please never change anything that you are not comfortable with changing!!




Thank you for sharing and Write-On!!

A House of Greyjoy review for
FORUM
Game of Thrones  (13+)
Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers




You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
42
42
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 18+ | (3.0)
Angel_Eyes has reviewed

A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: This is a short story about Space Wizards trying to figure out where the letters falling on their heads came from and why. There is a lot of dialogue to try to figure this mystery out. It is well written as far as I can understand. I do not normally read sci-fi for this reason.
Suggestions:
1. I believe you may have left out the word on in this sentence. Did anyone else just get a letter falling their face? Mairon asked.

2. I do not understand why you used quotation marks to show dialogue in the latter part of your story but not in the opening.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: With the exception of the quotation marks I already commented on I did not see any other note worthy concerns. Your skills in this area are strong. Job well done.

Parting Comments: I encourage you to continue working on this. It is apparent you have a passion in this area and I feel with time and tweaking you will have an awesome story. Thank you for sharing this story with us and allowing me to review you.

Angela

You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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43
43
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel_Eyes has reviewed

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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: This is an exceptionally well written piece by a father who is recounting how sharing his nonsense shenanigans as a youth resulting in what could have been a huge tragedy for his teenage son he shared it with. You will have to read for yourself to find out about this young man's experience with law enforcement, fire department, and jail. Not only have you exhibited great writing skills, you have shown extraordinary skills in telling a story. My heart ached for your son going through what he did, but I get it... My daughter and her friends had a very similar experience 5 years ago and there was the threat of her having a felony on her record if she encountered any other trouble before she was 18. Scared her straight, as far as I and law enforcement know at least. I thanked God the day she turned 18 for not allowing anything else to happen over those years.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Above average technical skills.

Parting Comments: Thank you for sharing this, there is a valuable lesson to be learned here. We do not need to share a lot of things with our kids. My daughter's issue above was not from anything I told her, but I did tell her some things that gave her some "exceptionally bright ideas" - NOT!

I hope you are writing other items on here as well. I enjoyed the clean, precise style and would enjo reading more.

Angela
You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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44
44
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: Such powerful truth in an incredibly short piece. Isn't it amazing how we can truly see people once we give them the benefit of the doubt. Your story is short but packs a powerful punch. I would like to have a little bit more imagery but you have a very well written piece.


Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I did not notice any technical errors. It appears you took your time and it shows in your skills.

Parting Comments: The old cliché "Don't judge a book by its cover" comes to mind. We never know what we are seeing in a person's eyes. I have often wondered what people were thinking and then I realize I probably don't want to know what half the people I encounter are thinking.

You are a talented writer and I hope to see more of your work. My only possible suggestion would be to add to it. Take us on an adventure with the person you learned you could trust.

On a side note: Do you think if you had encountered the terrorist their eyes would have had the same dark look? We just never know.
Angela


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45
45
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | N/A (Review only item.)
A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: A seemingly very sincere and comical story about Boo's creative taunting. I am so glad everything came out okay or actually didn't have to. Very well written, can feel the "laughter" in your writing and that is impressive.

Mr. Hooves knew what he was saying and is portrayed as an intelligent man. You portray yourself as a worrier, and Boo as the beloved baby. Excellent character development for such a short piece. Job well done.

Boo made me laugh. Haha, mama, you only THINK you aren't going to make me the center of attention right now. Too funny.

I did not take note of any errors in the technical error. I found this to be entertaining and well written.

My dog recently go ahold of a miniature box of staples, ate the box, but left all of the staples. I was a nervous wreck until I found out he was fine. Unfortunately, I can relate to the concerns.

Thank you for sharing this tidbit. I enjoyed it.

Angela



Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: .

Parting Comments:


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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46
46
Review of His Mother's Eyes  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers


Hi Old Friend, I never tire of reading and reviewing your work. Another great one.


Overall Impression: I would say this is one of my favorites so far. You have created really strong characters. Chris, Elizabeth, and Dad are all presented well in the story. I can feel the emotion of the conversation, the hospital room, Chris's hurt from reading his mother's writings and from missing her as a young boy. I can feel the emotion as he finds out the truth about his mother's death. Intense. Impressive.

Likes / Dislikes: I am especially impressed with the dialogue. I could see this truly being a deathbed conversation and confession. I am impressed with your punctuation and grammar as always. I would have liked to have had more to read. Considering the way Chris had his mother's eyes at the end, I think it would be interesting to have a sequel... Does he act like her? Does the crazy in his mother AND father carry over to him. This would make one amazing book and you are the perfect person to write it.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: I am super impressed with the formatting, dialogue, punctuation, content, spelling... Overall total package here. Job well done.

Parting Comments: You have a wonderful talent for developing a story. You have strong characters, a plot that thickens, a climax that is draws you in, a climax at the end... You never fail to give your reader everything they want and more.

I am glad I came across another item of yours to read and review. I hope you will continue to write and share with us here. Keep up the great work and Write-On!

Angela


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

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47
47
Review of Blue Coma  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: E | (3.5)
Angel_Eyes has reviewed "Blue Coma"

A House of Greyjoy review for
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#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: This is an interesting tale of a person who does not know what is going on, where they are, anything really. The end to your story really surprised me. It seems you have put a lot of thought into this and I applaud the direction you went with it. I am sure that would have been a very happy mom and dad.

Likes / Dislikes: I like your great attention to detail. The lights, the ride, the journey, and the unexpected twist at the end. I would like to see you use the tools on the site to format this for easier reading. Maybe, consider using "indent" and spacing between paragraphs. I found it a little challenging to read as it is.

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Your grammar and punctuation are decent. I believe if you take the time to format your story as I mentioned above, it would be easier to give punctuation tips, but overall I feel you did a decent job in this area.

Parting Comments: One thing I keep thinking about as I write this review is would I remember the story and is it believable. I find it very difficult to believe the character would be having the thoughts he is having. As unsuspecting as it is, I believe his thoughts or conversations with himself would be much different. I like the twist, but I am not convinced that it works for me. This, however, is the great thing about writing... What you think this journey would be like and what I think it would be like are totally different. I do believe mom and dad are glad that journey is over.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. With a little time and effort I believe this would be an item many parents would want to share with others. Keep up the good work.

Angela


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
48
48
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with The Iron Bank of Braavos  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Angel_Eyes has reviewed "The Black Cape And Top Hat"

A House of Greyjoy review for
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Returning in April - Prep starts March 1st
#456789 by Gaby ~ Counting GoT Numbers



Overall Impression: I am wowed. I believe I held my breath through half of your story, and that is hard to do with me. The story is so well written that I felt as if I were sitting there with Mindy and Ben as they talked. A lot of imagery, a lot of "imagination" for lack of better word. This is great.

Likes / Dislikes: I especially like your character development and how you show the reader rather than tell them. I could close my eyes and see your story. The only thing I dislike is the length. The story is so good I would like to have more to read. (Your story is not rushed, I just like it that much.)

Punctuation/Grammar/Spelling: Above average. Well written, punctuated properly. Absolutely no concerns to point out in this area.

Parting Comments: You are a very talented writer. I felt I knew the dogs didn't do it, but the ending.... People gotta read to see what happened to Cory and ... Mindy, Ben? You and I know, but I am not giving it away. Too bad he didn't get his mind off of it though.

Thank you for sharing your wonderful story. I do hope you will continue to share with us. Keep up the good work.


You can play,
You can lie,
But WE will find you,
and YOU will die!

** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
49
49
Review of Solution  
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Cody,

You requested a review and feedback to improve your poem. First, I would like to thank you for the review request and your openness to constructive criticism. Please keep in mind, that my feedback is my personal opinion and should be viewed as such. Please never change anything you are not comfortable changing.

Overall impression: Your poem is written to express personal thoughts and emotions throughout the struggle of overcoming addiction. You have done an excellent job of expressing how real the journey to sobriety is. I commend you for taking the journey. Job well done.

What I liked most: I always like reading pieces based on personal struggles, perspective, and the such. I feel it helps me understand what makes the author "tick." Thank you for sharing such a personal part of you with us.

What I liked least: One thing I like is commas instead of periods between stanzas if it will work. I will show you an example below using some of your poem.

There was a time in my life my soul felt dead,
The drink and drugs had messed up my head.
I found a fellowship of people like me,
who had a solution I couldn't see.

You used this technique in some places and not in others. Consistency helps the flow of the item immensely. Not a major change but will help your reader a lot.

You asked for rhyming critique and help towards the end so I am going to make a few suggestions below that I hope help you or at least give you some ideas.

There was a time in my life my soul felt dead, (11 meter)
The drinking and the drugs had messed up my head. (11)
I found a fellowship of people like me, (11)
who had a solution I couldn't yet see. (11)
Abstinence is the key they frequently would chime, (12)
but you have to stick with it one day at a time. (12)
My life gets easier each and every day. (12)
I'm glad these people guided me along the way.
For with a loving God of my own understanding, (13)
I can do all things and my life will be outstanding (13)

This is just a sample of what you can do. The meter matching and the rhyme working will help with the flow. Try reading your poem out loud to yourself so you can hear the way your reader is reading it. This will help you with all areas of improvement and editing. (not just this item, all items.)

I hope this feedback helps you, and I will be glad to continue helping you with this. I will be thrilled to see you get it where you want it, because you have a powerful message. I grew up in a family of alcoholics and I took the "dry" route out of fear... Again, I commend you for realizing it is a path to destruction and I wish you the best. There truly is freedom in Jesus if you will give it to Him.

Thank you for sharing. I encourage you to keep up the good work and Write-On!

Angela


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50
50
Review by Angel_Eyes
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good evening! You requested a review so I am here to review you as a member of WDC Power Reviewers Group. Please keep in mind, the following review is my opinion and should be received as such.

Tickory Tock, The Doc Forgot To Knock is a very well written monologue that is somewhat humorous but very true. The dreaded visits to the doctor or being in a hospital room is brought to life in your writing.

There is only one thing I noticed that I either "missed" or conflicts. The title of your piece is Tickory Tock, The Doc Forgot To Knock; however, the last line conflicts with this. I am wondering if pokes with the "swords" without waking you first is what you are referring to or if they are knocking at the door... Cliff-hanging pondering. :)

Exceptional verbiage, punctuation, and content.

Thank you for sharing your talent! Keep up the great work and Write-On!

Angela


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