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1,485 Public Reviews Given
1,578 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I look for a good hook at the beginning and like stories that "hit the ground running". Good plots with a theme, strong characters with an emotional impact, moving dialogue, sensory descriptions, clear communication and words with a purpose are strong points of a good story.
I'm good at...
knowing a good story when I read one. I like to read as much as I like to write, maybe more. I will let you know when a sentence just does not make sense to me, and I will try to give you my opinion on how to make it better.
Favorite Genres
biographical, family, drama, mystery, comedy, nature, young adult
Least Favorite Genres
sci-fi, erotica, fantasy, mythology
Favorite Item Types
short stories, essays, fiction & non-fiction
Least Favorite Item Types
novels
I will not review...
novels...sorry, no time
Public Reviews
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Review of Through the Storm  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hi Intheventofire,

You have told an interesting old story with a new ending giving me something to think about. Your descriptions are vivid and your action verbs move the story along very well. More of this showing vs telling would give the story greater impact. A.Word search for 'was' will show you where to implement changes if you desire. Action verbs are very powerful attention grabbers and you have done an excellent job in most of the story.

Thanks for sharing this tale with a new twist, and please write more.

Connie
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327
Review of Liar  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Jadelette,

Although the triangle is an old story, you have imparted the impact of its results in a fresh manner, quick and direct. Jealousy is a human emotion, one all of us feel at some time and you have shown how awful the results can be if acted upon.

You tell your story very well, description is vivid, the anguish of the protagonist is felt, and Anton's total trust is understood.

Our emotions are as much a mystery as our brain and you have tapped into my emotions with this story. Well done.

Connie
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*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
328
328
Review of the COAT  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Bluesman,

Thanks for writing and sharing this loving story about your granddad. I like your original metaphors, and I especially like this line, I still struggle to be worthy of existing as a branch of his tree. You have shown me a wonderful story.

Your descriptions of the coat, your fishing trip, and your surprise present and how you got to the woods were all bright images in my mind. I found the idea of paper shells interesting and you made its mention seem natural.

I am happy you had a memorable grandfather, and he was lucky to have you.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
329
329
Review of Thanks Dad  
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Good Morning Jb......

This is a powerful story, chosen for the biographical tag because that is where my interest lies. I like your tongue-in-cheek and ironic writing style. It shows your emotional state rather than telling and says a lot more.

I never had a father so I can feel some of your pain and longing. You conclusion makes me happy, that you knew you could be a good father by knowing how bad yours had been. It does not make it hurt any less, though.

You have written this story well, communicated exactly what you wanted to, and that is the reason I am giving the story five stars. Grammatical errors or other technical discrepancies (if there are any) always take a backseat to an excellent story. Thank you for sharing this and I sincerely hope you will write more like it.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
330
330
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Steve Thorn,

Since I am trying to write a memoir, I am reading the biographical genre, and your story came up on the click. I find it interesting and many times helpful to know what triggers memories. Baring your scar at a water park with inquisitive faces was a natural for this story to come back to your mind.

I like the way you have written about it with short, choppy sentences. It puts me right there in the midst of it all. Don't worry about the perfection of the memory. If we all waited for that, there would be no memoirs. The new biographical genre allows for a little fictionalizing.

I also liked what you say about not realizing our mortality until much later in life, also very true. A sixteen year old can skim by death and still feel immortal. I guess it is an age thing.

I enjoyed your story very much. Memory jolts can come when least expected and reading is a good way to be 'jolted'. Thanks for sharing this part of your life and please write some more.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
331
331
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Hi Spiderfingers88,

I went searching for biographical statics (my favorites) and yours came up. You had some very interesting neighbors. I enjoyed reading about them, especially Miss Mitchell. I could picture her on her porch as you described, and, yes, I could picture her teaching piano after her 'treatments'. What a mystery the brain is. This is one of the things that has not changed. It may be a very long time, maybe forever, before we understand why things like that happen.

My husband had a bag of poop story in his repertoire except it was a Halloween prank and after they rang the doorbell, they set it afire to ensure the stomping part. I guess everyone lived through it and the memories are funny.

Thanks for sharing your well-written story and bringing some memories back to me.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
332
332
Review of Still Life  
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning Annimaarit,

You have captured some interesting thoughts in your story of an old woman contemplating her past but looking toward the future. I am at an age where the words have poignant meaning for me.

When we are young, we have so little time to think, always doing. You pose some very relevant questions of life and seem to be trying to pass on a special wisdom the old woman holds to a younger generation.

You have written a beautiful story without the regrets or pettiness that age sometimes bring with it. It is thought provoking and well-written with just a little technical polishing needed. Thank you for sharing this and please keep writing.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
333
333
Review of Rutabaga Saga  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello D.L. Robinson,

I discovered your story while browsing the "Cramp" entries. I like your tongue-in-cheek style of writing, and I like memoirs so I was happy with my find.

I share your distaste for rutabagas, but I must admit I never was inquisitive enough to google it and find out why. I tasted rutabagas once in rutabaga pie. Somehow I mistook it for strawberry pie because it was red. Eewww, it was awful. What a dirty trick.

I did enjoy your information but not enough to try it again.

Thanks for sharing this cute and well-written story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
334
334
Review of Trilla  
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Good Morning Steve Ellen,

You have written a universal story in second person and you have done it well. Your first lines drew me in creating a mysterious atmosphere of which I had to know more. It reminded me a little of Michener's stories especially Chesapeake.

Second person is very difficult to write, but I found only one sentence that jarred my attention. Perhaps you have to talk directly at the translator ear to make it work. I do not feel the sentence was necessary, and it did take me out of the story as an aside of the narrator. This is only my opinion, and you know your story much better than I do. I wanted to share it in case it might be helpful to you.

Your story's message to me was that we do not know ourselves until we know love, and then love becomes all important to us. I say it is a universal message because that is how life is.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
335
335
In affiliation with  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi BScholl,

I'm not one of those people who look at the end of a book first so I was very disappointed at the "unfinished" word. You have me very wrapped up in this story. I realize it has all been told before, many times, but like you, I am looking for a new ending. I hope you write a good one.

What you have written is done well and as I said grabbed my attention. I like the smells in the diner and the description of the parking lot out the window. I like the personal thoughts of Gary. They move the story along without kicking out the reader.

When you add some more, please let me know. I am interested in how you will decide to finish. Thanks for sharing this much...

Connie
** Image ID #1388845 Unavailable **


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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336
Review of The Old Man  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello T J De Wahl,

I found your story in a newsletter and since it was described as emotional, I thought it might be a good one. I was right.

You do an excellent job at describing the old man. He came to life for me. I could picture him sitting, staring blindly at the photograph, and fingering the loved necklace.

I was glad for the kindness of a stranger, it made the story so much more adding a personal touch we hope is in all of us. Love is universal and has many degrees.

Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
337
337
Review of The Brooch  
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning Asherman,

I thoroughly enjoyed this short story which shows how little we know about people no matter how much time we spend with them. Julia trusted her mother and had no idea how manipulative she had been.

When you mentioned the cedar box, it made me think of mine. Cedar hope chest (Lane for mine) companies used to give these little boxes to graduating senior, trying to drum up business I suppose. I keep treasures in mine, too, treasures from long ago.

You left us wondering exactly what happened to Ramon, and it might make a good follow-up story. Being a mother, I understand some of Julia's mom's concern. Sometimes it is hard to know the right thing to do.

I like your story and I like the questions it raises. Thank you for sharing this.

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
338
338
In affiliation with The Storytellers  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Good Morning Don Two,

I like a poem to tell me a story and you get an A+! Your trip to Bermuda was not in the stars. You relentlessly try to "thwart" the inevitable, but in the end destiny takes over.

My favorite picture was the "fire-drill for the forlorn". I imagined the assembly line moving luggage from the taxi to the van...just like a fireman's bucket line.

I read your poem aloud, and it flowed smoothly, rhymes were good, you used some alliteration, lots of metaphors, and as I said before, just a great little excerpt from life.

Thanks for sharing and please write some more....

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
339
339
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Webwitch,

I always look forward to your weekly newsletters for a good laugh and found this gem listed below your last weekly offering.

I could see your mom's delight when she hit those slot machines. If she had any, she lost all fear and timidity. Maybe I need to visit Reno.

I'm glad you found her and she returned to her normal self, but I am sure she will never forget all that emotional joy.

Great story and thanks for sharing....

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
340
340
Review of The Pen  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hi Calvin,

This was hilarious. My goodness, I hope I never find one of those pens! My sarcasm usually is silent *Blush*! But I have to say you have excellent penmanship! *Laugh*

Great imagination on this story. Thanks for sharing it. *Smile*

Connie


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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Review of OUR IMAGE  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Old Warrior,

I found your article on the random read and will attempt to give you an honest critique.

At first, I found myself in full agreement with your image of Americans, but as I realized you were lumping everyone together, my personal experiences told me this was not true. I am an optimist and prefer to hold your image in the minority. As recent examples, look at the outpouring of love to the people of Newtown and Sandy Hook. Yes, perhaps we do place too high a value on material things, but we still have honor, faith, and sacrifice. Balance is what is important, and when it matters, goodness prevails.

I totally agree we must practice what we preach and would hope that all Americans are not judged by the few.

Your article is well-written without any obvious errors in spelling or grammar. It is apparent you did a good job by the "prickle" it caused *Smile*. Please keep writing, provoking thought and discussion.

Thanks for sharing,
Connie
342
342
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Wren,

I stumbled onto your blog this morning, read the last two entries (I thoroughly enjoyed the mother/daughter exchange), and was moved to visit your port and read a story.

This is a good one. I thought you were talking to me (and I, to you). You have a terrific story-telling technique, as though you are right here with me.

Your visualizations are so real, the vegetables seem like a chorus preparing to sing out their hearts. Who needs Bill when so many other wonderful things are around?

I loved this story, as you can tell. I will be reading some more.

Thanks for sharing,
Connie
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343
Review of Cafe Kringle  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Good Morning,

A story with a message. Hopefully, this will never happen to the "real" Santa Claus. It is scary to think that crime could travel that far.

Your twist at the end gave it just the right touch, although sad for the reindeer. The truth is that sometimes you just don't get another chance.

Thanks for an interesting read. Your story is well-written, and I enjoyed Santa's dialogue *Wink*.

Please keep writing...

Connie
344
344
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Maurice,

I noticed your blog (very catchy name) and clicked on your suitcase to take a peek. Since I love memoirs, this was the piece I selected to read.

I would liked to have known Claudette. She sounds like such a happy, upbeat person to have been around, and you did her justice with your story. I enjoyed the excerpt about the "wishes". What an appropriate name for a mixed box of chocolates. She must have been a joy to be around.

Thanks for sharing this well-told story, and please write more....

Connie
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345
Review of Missing Pieces  
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hi Jooker,

I'm very interested in the dialogue only concept and find the stories intriguing. You move this piece along smoothly with no disjointedness or confusion even though you change scenes. You simply and directly relate a broad range of topics, a runaway, an abusive stepdad, a strong-willed preteen, a kind wannabe father figure, and insinuate a perfect ending, a happy adoption with loving parents. The banana milkshake may have been a little overkill, though lol.

Still, a good dialogue only story with a naturalness for both characters, I was a little surprised the girl got into the car. She must have been a good reader of character. Please keep writing....

Connie

** Image ID #1718355 Unavailable **
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346
In affiliation with  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hey Revelry,

I enjoyed reading your memory of an old-fashioned radio. You loved it so much, I wanted to give you one I have. It belonged to my mom and has sat unused much as yours has. But, then, sorry, I could not part with it. It has my mom's dna on it *Smile*.

Your dad probably is attached to his mom's radio just like I am to mine, although it may be hard for you to see it. I feel it has some special meaning we are not aware of...yet. I am almost positive that one day it will be yours, just be patient.

You told your story well and, as you can see, it resonated with me. Please keep writing more memories...

Connie

** Image ID #1718355 Unavailable **
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347
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Good Morning,

Thanks for sharing this story and giving me the opportunity to read and review it. In my opinion, it is well-written, and, more importantly, I enjoyed the read. You use interesting metaphors and turn a somewhat serious subject into one that is lighthearted and delightful. I liked your dad's definition of marriage.

You use a lot of foreshadowing about the shower water so it was not a surprise to find you were left in frigid temperatures. I like your sense of humor.

And I think you have made an amazing discovery, if not new, that marriage/love requires a lot of give and take, some little white lies, and always (always) consideration for your better half before yourself. I expect you will be married for many years just like in the "I do's", till death do you part.

Best wishes for you both and "please write more"....

Connie
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348
Review of Old One Ear  
In affiliation with The Talent Pond  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Cynaemon,

Your name was new to me so after I got your review, I looked around in your port and found you write about things I love, specifically, cats. It looks like we share a love for the little, furry felines

At first I thought this was a story for the younger group, but as I read on, I realized the message you impart is important to everyone, no matter the age. In some parts it seemed similar to an allegory or the old Aesop's Fables I read when I was a youngster, many moons ago. I especially enjoyed the tale's (sorry) first person point of view, Miss Hatshepsut.

I knew the story was a good one when in my mind I could see the felines as humans. The manner in which you wove the writing journal into the story (an item important to all of us) became more natural and unique as you disclosed Old One Ear's character.

I did not see any places where I would know how to improve this story. In fact, I wish I could write one as good. Thanks for writing and sharing this, and I will be reading some more of your stories *Smile*.

Connie
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349
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hi Snow,

I like the way you set up your story, mentioning the nightingale in your first paragraph. I knew it would have something to do with your plot. You also laid out Lydia's distrust of the myth of the nightingale, good foreshadowing.

Your story is well-written, easy to follow, with no grammar or punctuation errors that I saw.

I liked the way you brought the wolves into the story, and the way the cat showed no animosity toward the birds. This made your story almost Biblical, the cabin is presented as a safe-haven like the Ark.

Good luck with the contest. I hope you win.

Write more,
Connie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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350
Review of Beach  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Hi Word,

I love the first two stones...I guess because they bring back such vivid memories to me. How did you do that? I felt just like I was in the water....again. When I was young, my family and I went to the beach at Lewes, Delaware. It was renowned for jellyfish, I think at a certain time of the year. I was never stung, but as you say, we briefly touched, many times. I loved being in the water so much nothing could keep me out. And then there were the huge waves at Rehoboth. Your Crest-break-roll made me shiver with excitement. Thanks for bringing back these special memories!

Write more,
Connie

My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .
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