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1,038 Public Reviews Given
1,623 Total Reviews Given
Review Style
I have a very straight forward reviewing style. I will tell you what I liked about the story and what I didn't. I will point out any errors that I noted as I read, but editing is not a strength of mine.
Favorite Genres
Erotica, dark drama
I will not review...
Poetry, non-fiction, Vore, Shrinking fiction, Gore or straight Horror
Public Reviews
Previous ... 3 -4- 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 ... Next
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Review of Room at the End  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | N/A (Review only item.)
What a beautiful poem and you make what I found to be a very difficult form look really easy at your fingers. I wish you the best of luck in the quotation Inspriation contest!

~ Mara
77
77
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
ROFLMAO Judity honey ... you had me laughing until my ribs hurt with this one. I love reading your non-fiction offerings. You are my perfect mental image of an author from the dedication to the written word, to the pets, and the complete disregard for those talents that just don't seem so important to us. *Wink*
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Review of Thanks Living  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Thanks Living is short, poignant, and to the point. I could picture the look on the mothers face as she pulled her children close, waiting her turn with meager fare, forced to hear the bragging cheer of one with an abundance. Incredible description and a wonderful reminder of those less fortunate.

~ Mara
79
79
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with Unofficial Erotica Newsletter ...  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
LOL I loved the "lesson" in this tale. It is an amazing thing fashion and what women will endure for it. Right up to and including risking our own safety. We also have an amazing soft heart when it comes to children and animals. The look my husband gives me when I pull off to help a turtle cross the road is almost painful. *Wink*
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80
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
This was a very interesting story and a two kleenex event. *Bigsmile* You do an excellent job of pulling on a parents heartstrings and drawing the tears. This paragraph in particular was brilliant ...

There was no sign of her amidst the mass of bathers. She could be anywhere. More than a few people turned at her call, then instinctively toward the water, searching for a girl they had never seen before. There is something singular about the sound of a parent calling for a child who has suddenly disappeared into a crowd, near water, a busy street, or some other danger. There is no hesitation or concern of embarrassment. There is only unadulterated terror and the anticipation of grief. Anyone can sense it, but a parent truly understands. You’ve probably heard someone use the expression, “he wears his heart on his sleeve”. When you have a child that you love more than any other thing, you don’t wear your heart anywhere at all. Your heart wanders off like a balloon with no string, independent of your body and often out of reach. If for some reason, that balloon was to pop; it may as well be your own heart.


Amazing and oh so true.

Your story had an almost twilight zone feel to it for me. There was a lot of telling instead of showing and yet with the style you used this worked well. Good job and write on!!

~ Mara
81
81
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
I just loved this story. *Heart* I am from a small town and the mother of a son who thinks his grandfather is God. The excitement of the boys really shines through in this story and is infectious, drawing in the reader. The picture at the end was a great addition.

Is this a true story for your family?

Great job and write on!

~ Mara
82
82
Review of Afghanistan  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Hello Story and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

For such a short piece this was very powerful. I would like to see it lengthened. It is a good reminder that the basic rights and freedoms that we as American's take for granted and the equality American women enjoy is not something that every country has.

The ending was poignant. She is indeed free, probably the only way she would ever be.

Good job. Write on.

~ Mara
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83
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Thank you for your entry into the July Round of the Angel Buddy Network Contest! *Heart* I greatly appreciate your support!

Great choice of songs and I love the way you pointed out the fear of not being qualified for anything after years at being the best of the best ... at killing. That is very sad. I liked his interaction with his daughter.

Suggestion ... this could be personal taste but I would suggest going through and replacing a couple of the places where you used Duke's name with a simple he or him. The entire story revolves around him and his feelings. Your reader knows who you are speaking of. For me it just seems repetiious. Just my opinion so please take it for what it is worth. Good Luck!

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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84
Review of Homage  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Homage brought sorrow and pride alike to my heart and made the hot tears roll down my cheeks. The return of our men and women in uniform can be so difficult as they return "home" different people with different thoughts and beliefs, seeing things in a light they didn't see before. You captured this beautifully.

The ending interaction with the locals made my heart soar with hope that regardless of what some people feel about the war they will see that those men and women are doing their job for THEM. The last thing our troops need is coming home to another Nam. *Heart*


*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Independence Day  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
Ooooo Shannon this one is a heartbreaker! *Sad*

You did such an amzaing job of showing the pain, the loss, the disbelief, and the acceptance as she goes through the full range of emotion dealing with this ultimate betrayal. Her accusation that it hurt most of all to know that he had thrown everything they had away for someone he didn't even love ... brought tears to my eyes and made the lump in my throat nearly unbearable.

Amazing job! Good luck! *Heart*

This sig was a gift of appreciation from Brooke
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86
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
You covered all the bases on this beautiful piece of poetry. The presentation is eye catching and appealing. Your words tugged at my heart as I read your words. I was able to see the pull of the ocean in all of its harsh/serene beauty and I could FEEL that pull when you are not where you belong.

Perfectly done. *Heart* Congrats on your well deserved win!!

I hope you enjoy the awardicon. It was as close to the color of the sea as I could get. *Laugh*

Emerald Eyes purchased from Nicki D Zigns!
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87
87
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 18+ | (5.0)
This editorial is perfectly thought out and presented in such a way as it would be hard pressed to offend male or female. Your comparisons were dead on and artfully done. You presented your thoughts eloquently yet on a level all could grasp. The flower dilema is solved. Thank you for clearing up one of lifes little mysteries.

~ Mara
88
88
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
I was impressed with the tense atmosphere you created using perfect word choices and keeping things short and concise.

The story kept me on the edge of my seat until the end and moved me as the American sergeant helps Cpt Kent from the water and reassures him of his safety.

Great job! Write on.


*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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Review of Incompatible  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (2.5)
Hello Priyanka Bhowmick and welcome to WDC!

I think we all understand the feeling of finding that one person we think is THE ONE. It is so hard when that feeling is not returned or turns out not to be the case.

While I liked the poem I feel that it needs a bit of work on its rhyming scheme and clarity. For example in the second part ...

that has been ruined by some unfortunate events,
you moved away so far from me,
could not recognise, for I was somewhere driven.


*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
90
90
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Hello DogWatchingMan and welcome to WDC!

Interesting short story, but what I liked most was the way the old woman that runs the store automatically ASSUMES that the young man is a thief. It is a difficult thing when an entire generation gets labeled by the older generation, but it surely happens.

A matter of personal opinion only, the ending/mantra seems a little short, not too catchy ... I don't know how else to describe the feeling. I just felt like I the reader was left wanting a bit. That could have been intentional. I am not sure. I hope this helps and good luck!

~ Mara
91
91
Review of Breach of Reason  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: ASR | (5.0)
Awesome lead in to this newest folder and Kiyasama's graphic is the perfect compliment. *Bigsmile* I wish you the best of luck in this new venture and look forward to reading your efforts as you churn them out. Poetry seems to have broken through your writer's block with a vengence!
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (5.0)
What a beautiful song! I am not much for poems, but I was curious to read this piece that shares the same name as my most recent work and I am so glad that I did. You truly captured what it means to be with your soulmate. As I read, my first thought was "this will make a beautiful song." I was thrilled to see your authors note letting us know it is being sang. I hope that someone hears it and wants to take it to the national level. *Bigsmile* Then I can say I knew it when!!

~ Mara
93
93
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A sad story? I don't think so. Rather, I found My Long Journey to Freedom to be uplifting in the true sense of personal strength. That you have chosen to free yourself of the damning chains of family opinion and live your own life is beautiful. Too many think that because you are family they have some say in your life. Too many feel that the common courtesy extended to strangers doesn't apply to family. *shakes my head* I applaud you for taking the steps to free yourself.

~ Mara
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Beautifully written, Kiyasama. I was never a fan of the man or even his music. I listened to my parents music ... Blue Oyster Cult, Bob Segar, BTO, Ted Nugent and the like. Though not a fan, I have to admit to admiring his Thriller video as "like nothing I had ever seen." Though not a fan I understand your grief at losing someone you admired, that moved and entertained you. I felt the same when we lost the great Dale Earnhardt. I cried for two days. People at work came up to me, laying a hand on my shoulder and asking if I was "allright?" I never met the man but I loved him. So I understand the feeling of loss and I offer you his fan my sympathy. *Heart*
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Review of Escape  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Hello Jim!

I am so glad I got a chance to read Escape. You do a great job of capturing the down trodden life Leon lives, the feeling of being invisable and insignificant. Opal has a wonderful Jessica Rabbit, classy dame feel to her and just breathes a breath of fresh air into the story and the reader.

Great twist at the end!

One little typo I noticed ... “Who’s the guy we’re busing out.” (busting)

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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Thank you for an enlightening, thought provoking, and yes even entertaining, read. *Bigsmile* This is a piece that a lot of us should take a peek at to remind us of how lucky we are to have such a great place to share our work. There are a lot of people struggling to pay for their paid memberships in these tough economic times, but I have also noted a strong community spirit as people participate in raffles and auctions to help their fellow members out.

I have never seen another on-line community like WDC. Thank you, SMs and Jack (Jack shares your time *Wink* for all you do for us at WDC. *Heart*

Emerald Eyes purchased from Nicki D Zigns!
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Review of The New Bus 16  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
Sadly I am as ignorant of Israel and the cultures there as with a lot of Americans. I am embarrassed to admit I do not completely understand the never ending war between Jews and Muslims. The suicide bombs, those I hear about and death I understand.

The fact that people must fear for their life as they make their daily commute is unfathomable to me. In rural Indiana we worry about road construction, getting caught behind slow moving farm machinery, or possibly a car accident making us run late for work. Only one day in my 39 years have I actually worried about something blowing up or me dying on the way to work ... 9/11 ... and even then ... I leaned on the thought that blowing cornfields wouldn't make much of a statement.

"The New Bus 16"  has made me think. It makes me think not only about the differences in culture, but the dangers and problems of others and the good life that we have here. Thank you for sharing bits and pieces of your country with us.

*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
98
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Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (4.5)
Hello Noa נעה and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

Realistic fiction is a good genre choice as this piece was definately hard hitting. Jakob's sorrow, loss, and guilt comes through in heartwrenching clarity. I admire Moshe's spirit, fire, his dedication to his religion and the strength of their people. The words he uses while talking to Jakob are at times harsh, but love can be the tough variety. I like the way he picks up the boy and trys to help him move on with his life.

One suggestion ... the store owner seems to completely disapear after he hires Jakob. His boistrous, threatening attitude in the beginning makes me think he would be a tough task master. It would seem the reader would hear from him in checking in on Jakobs work and/or a roar when Moshe is slow in getting back out front to wait on a customer.

*Note4*Please remember that these are only my opinions as a reader. Feel free to use or ignore them as you feel best suits your story and personal style. You alone are the best judge of what works for you!*Note4*

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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99
Review of I Hide  
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: E | (4.0)
Greetings living mis-understood and welcome to WDC! *Bigsmile*

I have a couple good friends that battle this impulse and you have down a good job of capturing the need and addiction associated with cutting as well as the desire to hide it from a society that doesn't understand.

I hope that writing helps and that you enjoy your time on WDC. Good luck.

A beautiful shamrock signature made for me by the extraordinary Adriana Noir!
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100
Review by Mara ♣ McBain
Rated: 13+ | (5.0)
A messenger in Rags carries a powerful message and is packed with emotion. You had me in tears half way through the story. I was so proud of the way Donnie was hugged with abandon and taken in with no worry or care on her part for what the rest of the world thinks. That is friendship, love and everything that is right at its very finest. Amazing message. Write on. *Heart*

~ Mara
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