This a good. It helps an author pay attention to the trend of thinking. I like to review but I also like to get constructive criticism. This helps me to improve myself.
Hello! I found your story on the Newby page and I really enjoyed reading it.
Overall: I loved it and thought it was very well done, written and put together. I only found 1 small glitch that I am sure was just a typo.
Plot: Very nicely developed. There a good amount of suspense that kept the reader wondering what was to become of the lamb with a nice ending.
Style/Tone: The tone was geared very well for young readers and the style was very well done.
Scene/Setting: Nicely done, it was very easy to visualize the barn, the pen and the house
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Very good except in paragraph #10 you wrote head for the house... Did you mean headed...?
Characters: Well developed and believable
Dialog: Very smooth
Suggestions: Just that 1 glitch that I mentioned. I was very impressed with the glossary at the end. I thought it was not only educational but was a nice touch to tie the story together.
Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.
Hello! I found your story and I found it to be very intriguing. I really enjoyed reading it.
Overall: I really liked it, very different and looking at a concept from a different perspective. Very well written and put together.
Plot: This really had me going. I like the way that when I thought I had it all figured out it changed and I was off base. Great job on building, then slightly leveling off then building again.
Style/Tone: Very good
Scene/Setting: Very easy to visualize with a twist
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: Well done, no errors that I could see.
Characters: Very well developed and believable. I liked how you introduced the characters bit by bit through their dialog
Dialog: Smoothly done and I especially liked the way you incorporated action within it occasionally to add only to the story but the characters.
Suggestions: I have none- Great Job and Write On
Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.
Hi, I signed in and saw your poem and I really liked it. I read it 3 times. I thought it was very well done and had a really deep meaning. I may be wrong, but what I took away from it was a it covered life from birth till death. You come into the world alone and end up in it at sometime in your life alone and you leave alone. I would be interested in knowing if I am even close. Let me know please.
I really liked it and I thought it was well written. I saw no errors.
Hello! I logged on and saw your story and I so much enjoyed it.
Overall: First thing I want to say is WOW!! This is a great story, not only well written but it also conveys a message that is so true. It got my attention right away and I got to the point I couldn't read fast enough.
Plot: Very well done and put together and I thought the ending was unexpected and very interesting.
Style/Tone: Excellent job in portraying the moods, feelings and attitudes of the characters. I could feel what they were feeling.
Scene/Setting: Characters and setting worked very well together
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: No errors that I could see
Characters: Superb! I loved the names
Dialog: Very well done and smooth
Suggestions: I can offer no suggestions. I really liked this story. I was so impressed with your added touch of the definitions at the end. I thought that added a great touch in tying the entire story together. I hope to be able to find more of your work.
Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.
Hello! I saw your story on the Newby page and I really enjoyed reading it. It really peaked my interest right away.
Overall: I thought it was very good and well written.
Plot: I like the way you have it mounting slowly and keeping the reader wondering as to what is going to unfold.
Style/Tone: Nice job on reflecting the feelings, mood and attitudes of the characters up to this point.
Scene/Setting: Nice job on describing the setting. I found it very easy to visualize as to what was happening.
Grammar/Spelling/Punctuation: No errors that I could see.
Characters: I would like to know more about them but they are coming across believable.
Dialog: Very smooth
Suggestions: I don't have any suggestions. I liked it. I am curious though as to why the words, happy, new, shiny and bright were highlighted with bold letters, are they going to lead into something else?
I enjoyed it very much and Write On
Kristina
Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope they help.
Hi, I read chapter and again I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinion & suggestions, but I hope this helps. I really love this story. You have a knack to build the suspense at a good pace and bring the reader just verge of finding out more details involving the character, just enough to keep their interest and wanting to know more. I thought however, that chapter 2 did not flow as well as chapter 1. I think if you reword some of your sentences and correct the tense of some words, it will not alter the thoughts you want to portray or change the story. i.e. You wrote: Something knocks on the side of her head and she (grown's sp). Perhaps you could consider, Something knocked the side of her head causing her to groan. Opening her eyes she found herself staring into the light green eyes of Caleb.
I can't help but feel that her essay is going to give the complete insight of Candice and her family. I can hardly wait to find out.
You are doing a really good job.
Thank you for sharing your story and I am looking forward to chapter 3. Write ON! Kristina
Hi, I found your story on Read and Review a Newbie. I absolutely love this story and hope you find this review useful. Please note that I am only trying to offer a readers perspective and you are free to ignore my opinions and suggestions, but I hope this helps.
Overall Impression: Very well done. Candice pulled me into to her world from the start. It was easy for me to identify with her, feel her anger understand it also. I know what it is like to live with a hidden disability and I was so glad when she decided to become angry enough to fight for herself. She may not be good in math but you have given her the gift of words. I thought it flowed very well and the characters are very believable. I am very anxious to find out how she solves her inner conflict as well as the external one she is facing. I am also anxious to find out what her parents did to cause them to leave her alone. The suspense of the plot is mounting nicely.
I only have two suggestions: 1) In the essay that Candice was writing about herself, I am not sure if you meant for her to write I rest my head on my mom's shoulder and stare at the snowy trail.... I am wondering if you meant I rested my head on my mom's shoulder and stared at the snowy trail.... That would make that sentence flow a little more smooth. 2) In the same essay, the sentence Long dark hair of mine touched the snowy earth..... Perhaps consider My long dark hair touched the snowy earth.....
Thank you for sharing your story. Write on! I am on my way to chapter 2, can't wait to read it. Kristina
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