Please, remember this is only my opinion. I have tried to give you a helpful review.
Your story was easy to follow and understand. Keep on writing!
Plot: I don’t think you developed the plot well. I didn’t feel my heart racing.
Character: We know little about Mike. You tell a little about his feelings. He doesn't have a distinct voice.
Descriptions: You should use more senses in your descriptions. Add a few bodily reactions.
Point of View: You don’t have a consistent point of view through the tale.
Some suggestions of edits that decrease the word count:
to calm down the horse
to calm it down
Mike an outlaw on the run, his gang went off with out him and robbed a bank killing the local sheriff as the rode out of town. As soon as he found out what they did he took of on his own. Hoping to avoid the gallows. It didn’t take long for them to catch Mike’s former gang members, or try and execute them. They were still looking for him, and he wanted to avoid their fate. So headed for someplace no one, in their right mind, would go, a place people feared.
We already know Mike is an outlaw. You may suppress this paragraph and add some of its information somewhere else.
As they went deeper into Congaree forest, the forest itself seemed to get darker, as if the vary trees seemed as though they wanted to reach out strangle them.
The deeper they went into the Congaree forest, the darker it got, as if the vary tree wanted to reach out and strangle them.
It's just some old man, mike thought, “What are you doing here old man?”
He saw a man. “What are you doing here old man?”
They spent a few more hours talking before mike went to sleep for the night, though uneasily with the new found knowledge of what lurked in the shadows in the forest.
As Mike slept the old andreal kept watch, walking around the campsite keeping and creatures away.
In the darkness slowly one shadow creature, in the twisted shape of a dog sized spider, crept towards the camp. As it creeps closer to camp its flesh twists in ways it shouldn’t. Reaching the each of the forest it instinctively scans for threats and pray. Once it spots Mike in starts creeping towards him but then from the trees the andreal pounces on it quietly driving his espada ropera through its head killing it with out a sound. Not going far from the camp, he drags its carcass back into the woods tossing it out of the way.
The verb to crept already implies slowly. The three paragraphs needs editing. Mike couldn’t see the creature, when he was sleeping. You changed the viewpoint from Mike's to andreal.
The old andreal just smiled listening to Mike open, ...
You changed the viewpoint from Mike's to andreal.
“Consider it a good luck charm.” he said smiling, “also you might need it,” he said looking at Mike’s Bowie knife, “the extra reach might just save your life.”
“Consider it a good luck charm. You might need it,” he said looking at Mike’s Bowie knife. “The extra reach might just save your life.”
As Mike climbed onto Traveller he scratched his head, What have I gone and got myself into? Well lets see these “creatures.” Time seemed to advance slowly as they traveled around the lake. As they approached the temple Traveller grew more apprehensive, so Mike tied him to a small tree and approached the rest of the way on foot taking what he needed.
Mike climbed onto Traveller. What have I gone and got myself into? Well lets see these “creatures.” Time crept as they traveled around the lake. As they approached the temple, Traveller grew more apprehensive, so Mike tied him to a small tree and went the rest of the way on foot.
Reaching the entry he used the magic stone as instructed, it created a small glowing light the floated just above his head. That’s useful. Traveling into the halls it didn’t take long for him to see the first creature. It started shambling towards him attracted to his light.
Reaching the entry he used the magic stone, it creating a small glowing light that floated just above his head. That’s useful. Traveling into the halls it didn’t take long for him to see the first creature, shambling towards him.
Reaching the temple’s center and large altar room, he could hear movement, but what ever was making it was smart enough to stay in the shadows away from him.
Reaching the temple’s center and large altar room, he could hear something moving, but it was keeping itself in the shadows away from sight.
The room had a small half foot shelf filled with something. Keeping one eye on the shadows he checked it, they put ground up coal in here, I wonder if? Reaching into his pack he pulled out a small box of matches, opening it he dumped them all into the base of the shelf at the entrance. Taking one he lit it tossing it with the others the flames soon illuminated up the room.
The room had a small half foot shelf filled with something. He checked it. It was coal. He pulled out a small box of matches from his pack. He dumped them all into the base of the shelf. He lit one, tossing it with the others. The flames soon illuminated up the room.
I think you can really cut down a lot of the part he meets with his escort.
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This review helps me recruit a creature to bring damage against the Green Witch! 
After catching his breath and feeling more energetic he stood up and entered the cave.
).
