%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
| (5.0)
|
||
|
||
| (4.0)
|
||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (4.5)
|
|||||
|
|||||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (5.0)
|
||
| (4.5)
|
||
|
|||||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (4.0)
|
|||||
| (3.0)
|
|||||
| (4.0)
|
|||||
| (4.5)
|
|||||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (5.0)
|
||
|
|||||
|
|||||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (3.5)
|
||
| (4.5)
|
||
| (5.0)
|
||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
I love Aerosmith. I was older than you when they were rocking the radio-waves, so understood the nuances woven into the song. 
That one particular song would get stuck in my head often. 
This was a short bio-type item and obviously a "Soundtrackers"blog/contest entry. Commenting on the brief entry with a biographical account, I could fine no errors, spelling or grammatical. Also, though succinct it speaks volumes to the reader as she could picture the eight year age difference and just how cool the music would appeal to the teen and how the beat of the music appealed to the younger sister. Thank goodness you couldn't understand the lyrics that went along with the music. 
Your mother would have to wash your mind out with soap! 
It's amazing how years later in life we really sit and listen to the lyrics of certain songs, not just the cadence of the music and the melody lines that we only seem to remember. 
Well done, and paused on a line that will give any reader an idea of where the lyrics were going in the song. 
My review has been submitted for consideration in "
This story indeed lives up to its genre or paranormal as well as horror. I had the dreadful feeling something was not going to be right when the woman found the little girl lying on the ground in the snow. 
I thought of that saying, "No good deed goes unpunished." Gee, talk about an act of kindness gone awry! 
There are a couple more places where the paragraphs could be tighter by using only the words necessary to paint the picture. This would be especially important in contests where there are strict word count requirements.
The message woven within this poem is a strong one and one that paints a vivid picture to the reader without going into detail about how the troubled relationship started. I hope there is a way for the feud to lessen, and hearts to soften and forgiveness to blossom.
He is there in prayer, in our dreams and hopes, so long as we believe, we know He will be there for He has a plan for each and every one of us. 
This is a beautiful message -- so spiritual and so true!
Like this man, she lived in her own world and the world everyone else who loved her lived in was strange in her mind. She remembered her days of yore, yet forgot who she was talking to at that moment. Dementia, Alzheimer's, diseases that kill the spirit long before the body dies.
Your poem builds up the mystery of why the man who heard screams within his own head, but no one else could hear them. How frightening that must be to a person. I love how you introduced the disappearing of the screams and how upsetting it became to this man. He had dreamed of the silence, but now felt more trapped within the silence and yearned for the screaming to return. 
The emotions were woven into each line helping this man's story to unfold. The reader even gets the family's point of view toward the end. 
However, the poem itself painted a sad picture about dementia and its affect on the loved one's family, as well as the inner torment that the one who suffers from it, lives within his mind at the whim of sounds and sights that don't register as normal to him.
I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.
I believe spring is one of the best seasons to write poetry about. The subject matter is about everything fresh and new, again. In parts of the country where winter keeps people shivering and indoors, spring is such a welcome time of year.
Personification is lovely. "I'm the rustle of the leaves" It is so true, for I can think back to the birth of spring, with leaves from a season long forgotten, and the crunch sound they make when foot is laid upon them, all trigger those emotions of my springtime in New England. Since I winter in Florida and do not return until May, spring is well under way. But it was lovely seeing it appear before my eyes -- through your eyes.
I love the revitalizing feeling one gets when spring is get closer. It is a time of blooming and when all creatures start to yawn and stretch preparing for a busy schedule of raising a new brood. I love thinking about the hatchlings and their first flight. Yes, spring reminds me of new life and new promises with love and life all abloom.
Nice analogy comparing spring to the mood. It is the desire for that renewal of life that makes spring fever present.
Love this part:
You had me going for a while when I started reading the dialogue between the couple at the drive-in theater. Yes, I guess people don't go to them to watch movies anymore. 
I liked the twist you spun in at the end. That was excellent. You led your reader down a path that frankly, I thought sounded like those grade B slasher movies, and I guess it sort of was, but the ending turned that all around in my mind.
You wove quite a smooth little comedy, into one of our childhood favorites at Christmastime. So, now the truth is out there? Now we know why the red nose, and some Santa personal facts that have eluded generations of children? 
Adding a little technology into the operating of a sleigh on Christmas eve, is also a good spot for a giggle. Oh, my, the secrets being kept from Santa are grave, indeed! You did a great job with the Holiday Rush prompt and entertained brilliantly within the 500 word count limit.
This was a fun read. The dialogue was well done. You capture the reader's attention and make it a quick and quirky read that makes the story of Rudolph a true shocker! Should we continue to allow our children to watch this cartoon of the fake news about Rudolph? And, don't even get me started on Santa Claus -- the party dude who had a little help during the holidays to complete his job.
I enjoyed the spoof on the classic detective, Dick Tracey. Dick Casey, holds his own, however, as a private detective, looking for an new and exciting case to get into the spirit of things. Spirit indeed, as he sets out to find the Candy Cane Killer, during Christmastime, a miserable criminal dressed up in Santa Claus garb. Good disguise, as people willingly get close to Santa when he's parked his bottom at the mall, surrounded by elves. But that's beside the story. He kills and must be stopped.
Good shots by the private dick. He saved the victim from further victimization that would surely lead to her death.
The language was campy and set the tone. "Yous" probably could have been dropped as it was used addressing one person. I believe plural form of colloquial language would apply to plural, as in "yous guys." It is at least, how I remember it being used growing up in a very ethnically cultured neighborhood. Good times, indeed!
I love your weaving wind and the elements of time together. Nature always makes a perfect backdrop for poetry. It's amazing that when the wind howls, we listen and sort of block it out, until we notice the silence when it stops. Sometimes silence sends us deafening messages. It would make one pause to listen. 
It was such a pleasure to not only read, but to visualize, motorcycle parts on the dining room table, a pal named Tom who is really a live turkey that never found his way to the business end of the ax, and the very creative party games, such as drawing in the dust left on the floor by the wood stove. Yes, very good advice on how to turn dirt into art, and settle for a frozen turkey, with which you would be unable to bond -- hopefully. 
My only suggestion would be that you skipped a couple spaces between paragraphs, rather than paragraph indenting, for easier reading on the WDC screen. It breaks up the appearance of a wall of words. Not a huge deal, just easier on tired eyes.
Darrin certainly had a unique way of confronting demons from his past. It's disturbing how relentless bullying can lead to disastrous results.Here, the one who was bullied,carried the burden of psychological pain that outlasted the physical pain for decades. 
A reader has to be on her toes to keep up with the scene unfolding before her eyes. However, after a double-check-back, I saw the light. The bit of confusion of names disappeared, because once I got to the end, I realized the need to refer to Darrin in the third person. 
The ending was a real stunner. It must have been the ultimate betrayal to him, that Mitch didn't even recognize who he is. Nice twist with this character! 
I felt the character's passion for food and the perfect spice. He had mesmerizing way about him that kept him alive in some very sticky situations. 
There are several grammatical errors threaded through this short piece. There is a tendency to run-on sentences and there is a need for more punctuation marks. A couple examples are below, but these are not all that issues I encountered in the story. 
I enjoyed the culinary concept of special spices and their uses. I think as mentioned above, there is a need to tighten up the sentences and edit out unnecessary words.
You keep the reader on her toes, and holding her breath until the act was done.
His reasons were developed in the story and his assurance that it would be a task completed, revealed that he didn't have long to live -- nothing to lose, attitude.
What I didn't like so much?
Another poking fun at the President. That's getting a bit overdone lately. And you're not even a US citizen, Bob. 
I can understand her need to go to another school where her mother does not work as a teacher. I think if a parent is also a teacher in a child's school, that parent expects more from the child than is expected from all the other students. It's probably a matter of pride, as the teacher wants the child-student to tow the line and not do anything to embarrass her in front of her colleagues. Not an easy thing for the child. Also, anything done to upset the mother-teacher during the school day, would certainly continue when the child-student gets home.
Geez, where to start? I felt a certain creepiness reading this because it had a nightmarish quality to it. I believe I have had big cat dreams. In fact the dream had two mountain lions walking about the city streets and merely feet away from me. I found it odd because one was an orange-shade and the other was a light tan. But they traveled together. I awaited what you described in your story, but it never happened. They seemed tame around me. Nevertheless, I was frightened and feared the scent of fear would make them turn on me. Thankfully I awakened, never getting the answer to my fearful questions.
Gripping horror, Bill. It shows that in a man v beast situation, man has only his wits or a serious weapon, to get him safely out of that situation. Or, a guardian angel -- so long as all you haven't run dry their protection favors. 
Thanks for entering and good luck with the contest!
I am also reviewing your item because I saw it advertised on the Newsfeed, in response to 
I found a nearly flawless flow, with a bit of drag at the end. That tiny pause did not take away from all the information one could gather when reading this poem. Yes, a bit of history and some Hollywood drama to portray Friday the 13th are cleverly intermingled within the lines, as well as sports. It really painted a full picture in this reader's mind. I for one love Friday the 13th. But what would you expect from a witch? I think it is a day that seems to freak some people out. However, number thirteen happens to be my lucky number. 
!
What about Matilda Writon? Did she get back to her own time? 
I have nothing else to say -- you achieved what you set out to do. And it's always fascinating!
I love how you weave God's hand in all of this. For, the life spent on earth respecting, keeping precious the shared love of the bond that God brought you together in, will, because of your belief in Him, last through eternity.
So beautifully worded, creating a picture of everlasting love and unbreakable partnership here on earth.
I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.
When one faces her true love at a time she is to marry another man, it is a shocking event for all involved. How will she be able to go through with the wedding? She cannot bear to stand as the thought of losing him twice is unbearable. Great ending, by the way! 
"those green orbs focused solely on her."
You did an excellent job in painting a full picture in this flash fiction story. It sort of haunts the mind picturing the bride in this situation. Well done, Miss T. I enjoyed the way you pull your reader in, stick that hook in deep, and give her a satisfying ending to the story.
you have a fine idea and hopefully you will continue to develop it as well as the characters.
I am also reviewing your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator. 
You describe eloquently, the bedside table holding a tiny Christmas tree, a wreath and a yellow ribbon, which is a very significant reminder of how many families are awaiting their loved ones return, and they tie yellow ribbons on tress, or wreaths, or a bow in their door, to show support to service people. It shows that their prayers are there for all those who are serving with hopes they will return to their families, soon.
The form was very rhyming, first three lines end in rhyme, last one doesn't. I imagine there is some form name for that, but I won't hazard a guess. A blip in the rhythm of one verse that seemed wordier. 
However, I loved the images you painted of Christmas through the eyes of a soldier. You make the reader stop and say, thank you to those who serve currently and have already served our country.
I am also reviewing your your item because it popped-up on the Random Review generator.
I read this poem a couple times to feel the emotions threaded within it. There is a feeling of regret toward the end of the poem and an admission that although it is understood that the error has been made more than once it might happen in the future, for we always seem to fall into the same old bad habits and then feel sorry about it after the fact. I believe we can live and learn and improve on those mistakes we tend to repeat.
My favorite verse was the second to last. I loved the form you used. It is shaped a bit like a diamond, to shine out the most within the poem. It summarizes all the thoughts and the warning of loose lips and the damage they can do.
I had to change the rating on this item due to the implications of violence. 
I think this free verse poem deserved a higher rating. Probably the non-form non-rhyming poem did not appeal to one who prefers traditional poetry. But I happen to like free verse. I am boosting the rating a bit with my 5 