Limericks Mk XI

SOUTH AUSTRALIAN LAMENT



New trams, trains and buses? Hooray.

Of course, at the end of the day,

when the pollies all spin

the public can’t win

so we are the ones who must pay.



HIGH FINANCE



The accountant had had a bad year

His figures were nonsense, I fear.

He was getting no sleep;

he was in very deep,

and the Fraud Squad was getting too near.





THERE’S NO MONEY IN WRITING



An illiterate writer from Staines

found his stories gave other folk pains.

So he sold all his tools,

his collection of jewels,

and lived off the capital gains.



FRIENDSHIP



If the world ever comes to an end,

I want to be with you, my friend.

We’ve been through it all,

the rise and the fall,

‘til we, too, to dust must descend.



TO RHYME OR NOT TO RHYME



An ancient and much beloved bard

found rhyming increasingly hard.

He toiled day and night

with all of his might

for one Hallmark Mother’s Day card.



SHOPPING LIST



“A dozen large eggs and some meat;

loin chops would make a nice treat.”

“At those prices, my dear,

it’s becoming quite clear

that we’ll have to reduce what we eat.”



MOTORING MADNESS



So I said to my mates at the bar,

“My wife really wants a new car.

A Ford is alright

and we don’t want to fight,

but a Beemer’s just going too far.”



ROYAL MARRIAGES



King Henry the Eighth has six wives.

But terminates two of their lives

For two, a divorce.

Poor Jane dies, of course.

In the end, only Catherine survives.