Limericks Mk X

AN IDLE IDOL



There’s a little green idol next door

Sits perched on the living room floor.

The family all

want it put in the hall

where it used to be kept once before.



GROG



A disaster—I’ve run out of booze

I don’t know what else I can use.

While coffee is fine

it’s not quite like wine

I’ll make it myself – I can’t lose.



TRUE LOVE



Milady fell down in a swoon.

Her lover arrived far too soon.

But her husband’s strong arms

quickly soothed her alarms.

They made love by the light of the moon.



TRUE LOVE (2)



“Of course I forgive you, my dear.

You really have nothing to fear.

Why, you forgave me

when I went on a spree

with the wife of Lord Henry DeVere.”



FALSE LOVE



Her lover was waiting, bereft

when he found that the lady had left

with her husband, forsooth.

Faced with this awful truth

In twain had the swain’s heart been cleft.



DARWIN IN “THE WET”



For weeks it’s been pouring with rain.

Again and again and again.

I just can’t keep dry,

however I try.

I think that I’m going insane.



ALIEN VACATION



A little green family from Mars

Drove all around Sydney in cars.

They were caught by the cops

after stealing from shops

having spent all their money in bars.



POLITICAL DISCOURSE



“A pox on your politics, sir.”

“Have a care with your language, you cur.”

Nothing changes, they say

and so, to this day

politicians still relish a slur.