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 |   So playing the trombone wasn't getting me in enough trouble? |
Cooking for Festive Family Fetes is a task I always enjoy. My family all have hearty appetites and enjoy eating. I usually plan each meal well in advance and do the grocery shopping in stages. I did the planning, but then a little problem popped up in the form of unexpected work. So shopping was out. Lennie the love o' my life couldn't shop for me. So what was I to do? Anyone who knows me knows there are four miscreants muses who haunt inspire me. I wondered if one of them might be able to do the shopping? Let's see, the first possibility is the Grumpy Leprechaun. He'd be perfect. If he dressed in something other than that tacky green suit, he'd almost look normal. Kind of like a little kid with red whiskers. He might be my best bet. "Shopping is it now laddie?" He carefully put down the corned beef sandwich he was munching on. "Well now, if the liquor cabinet needs restocking or the beer frig is empty then I'm at your service." Grumpy took a long swig from his mug. "But, the last thing I bought in one of those markets was a hundred-pound sack o' taters, and ya complained about that for months. So no thank ye kindly, I won't be doing no food buying, at all, at all." Next up was Pub Bunny, a short floppy-eared rascal, who seemed to change the color of his fur on an hourly basis. when I asked him about that his answer was. "Did you ever notice how Grumpy looks at his mug when I change color?" So, I asked him about shopping, apparently, he's a veggietaterian (sic) and refuses to shop for anything but produce. Let me tell you, my family isn't vegetarians, and trying a meatless wonder meal is out ... way out. Next up was Anon-Y-Monkey, as soon as I found him I knew he was a non-starter. Especially since I found him hanging with Andre. They were drinking Vodka Virtuals and tossing coconuts at the chihuahuas. My last hope was A Guavé Tortuga, the retired rock star. I wasn't sure how he'd feel mingling with the common folk at a grocery store, but, I was desperate. I caught up to him, which wasn't hard, he's a turtle, on his way to Best Buy. He's looking for a new turntable. Explaining my plight, I asked him for the favor. To my surprise, he was happy to oblige. I handed him the list, and he looked it over. "You need to add cucumbers." "What, I'm not making anything with cucumbers?" "The cukes are for me—" "Oh!" "Turtles LOVE cucumbers!!" With that, he turned and quickly walked off, well, quickly for a turtle. A Guavé is a pretty astute turtle because several hours later a guy rowed up in a dugout with a sign that said "PeaShell Food Deliveries". everything on my list was there, along with 25 pounds of cucumbers, A Guavé showed up about 2 hours later to collect them. His only question as he turned to leave was. "When's Dinner?" |
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