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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/action/view/entry_id/1035486
Rated: 13+ · Book · Nonsense · #2274912
For entries to the Wonderland Writing Activity 2022.
#1035486 added January 19, 2024 at 1:41pm
Restrictions: None
G1 - A Most Ridiculous Game
The Game of 'Kippers"

Kippers originated in the Stately Homes of the English nobblies. However during the late 18th Century it spread to restaurants, and in the 19th and 20th centuries to hotels, and even bed & breakfast establishments.

The game is for six or more players, and requires a large dining table with seating, cutlery and condiments.

Players take their seats around the table. In front of them should be a plate, and a knife, fork and teaspoon.

Once all are seated, then covered dishes are sent in from the kitchen(s). Each covered dish will contain a breakfast food, such as sausages, bacon, tomatoes, poached eggs etc. There will be at least six different dishes, and one of them will be KIPPERS. If more people are playing than there are available dishes, then duplicates of any or all of the dishes except KIPPERS are allowed.

The aim of the game is to acquire a breakfast, however, just like certain card games, different breakfast combinations are allowed, and score differently according to the skill and difficulty involved in acquiring such a breakfast. Bonus points are added for condiments, and these are discussed below.

In each round a player should have one covered dish placed in front of them. They are then allowed to peek at what the dish contains. Depending on the dish they can then choose to 'SERVE' or to 'STAY'. A player indicates their intention to SERVE, by arranging their knife and fork at five to one around their plate. If they elect to stay, they should turn their cutlery to twenty-five to seven.

If they elect to STAY, their dish remains in front of them. When all have made a choice, then the toast is tossed. On the first round this is done by a server, but on subsequent rounds by the most recent person to be eliminated, (see below).

Six slices of toast in a rack, are thrown into the air. (The rack is not thrown). When they have landed, the number of butter side ups are counted. Players then pass their covered plates to their right, the number of places that equals the number of butter sides up. The covered plate passes move past anyone who has elected to STAY, and continues to the right until everyone has exactly one covered plate in front of them.

People then take an item from their covered plate and add it towards their own breakfast plate. The person who opens their covered plate and discovers that they have KIPPERS is eliminated. They will then take their teaspoon, and lay it across their plate to indicate that they are no longer competing. The most recently eliminated person will then toss the toast until someone else is eliminated to replace them. If only one person is left that person has won that round, and their breakfast total is added for scoring.

Eliminated players will not peek inside of covered dishes that arrive in front of them. They must remain seated, so that every covered plate has someone to arrive in front of.

Whilst passing the covered dishes to the right, every player, including those eliminated pass the condiments to the left one place setting. Condiments may be added to the players breakfast plate if circumstances allow, for example if the player has Sausage and bacon, and one of either a poached egg, pork chop, or bowl of Weetabix, then they may add either Sauce OR Mustard to their plate. A full list of condiment possibilities is included in Appendix A.

Play continues until either all but one player are eliminated, or until a player declares KIPPERS.

A player who has amassed a full breakfast combination, (Full breakfast combinations are listed in Appendix B), may declare KIPPERS at the end of a round. All players remaining at this point then add up their total score, based on the items they have and the condiments added. Each players score is then recorded on the winners board. Play can continue for any length of time, indeed one game at The Grand Hotel, Budleigh Salterton, has continued for sixty seven years, only interrupted during the herring strikes of 1974-75.

KIPPERS has been called the Game of Queens. Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II is known to be a keen, and extremely subtle player, known to favour the Kedgeree Stratagem. Brian May of the band Queen, is a practitioner of the Worcester Sauce Gambit, whilst Sir Elton John, a frequent tournament player, and also current Chair-Queen of the British KIPPER Association, often plays the fearsomely complicated Weetabix/Croissants variant.

Full rules and downloadable scoring tables are available of the BKA's website www.redherring.co.uk

WORD COUNT & PROMPT

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