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A collection of stories about my family's trip to the movies going sour quite fast! |
| It was March 17th, 2024, and it was St. Patrick's day! And to celebrate this Irish holiday, you thought it would be appropriate to...pick up a truckload of Chinese to bring home and eat! After eating a mountain of Chinese food, you would then proceed to go with your sister and her sons to go watch some Wrestling! While at the wrestling show, you would quickly scarf down a burger alongside a big, fat, foot-long meatball sub! After the show, you would all head to the parking lot and...wait, what happened to the car? All you see are tread marks in the parking spot where the car was and...HOLY SHIT, YOUR CAR GOT STOLEN! Your sister would then immediately start to freak out and demanded that you call the cops IMMEDIATELY!!! Thankfully, you managed to get a hold to some police officers and tell them about the stolen car as well as everything that has happened! You all would end up having to get a Uber ride home while shaken up. A day or two later, cops would find your sister's stolen car after it was found abandoned in a ditch. The car is still in good condition, but the insides reek of booze and weed! Your sister, still furious about this, would air out her grievances on social media, complaining about how much her car stinks now! On Wednesday, March 20th, 2024, you would see on Twitter about your brother Ross and how he talked about how his doctor was extremely concerned because there was blood and pus in his latest urine sample. You then take this grand opportunity and started to crack jokes about it online, accusing him of having UTI, as well as telling him to keep his dick out of "dirty holes!" Things would be going quite well until the next morning... On Thursday, March 21st, 2024, you would wake up to one of your eyes hurting horribly! You would walk into the bathroom and look and see that you have developed a Stye in one of your eyelids!!!  You bitched and whined about how much it hurts and how nasty it looks on social media! You then see your brother Ross poke jokes about it, calling it a "pink eye!" You angrily message him back and try to correct him, but he tells you that this is for poking fun of his medical issues. HOW DARE HE USED LOGIC AGAINST YOU!!! Furious, you tell him to go fuck himself before storming off and pouting in your bedroom for the day! On Friday, March 22nd, 2024, you and your family would be going to Costco to get groceries for the house, because the other grocery stores don't sell you things in "large portions." While there, you not only ate up quite a number of free samples, but you also ate a giant slice of pizza along with a giant cookie! Even though you ate quite a number of free samples and ate quite a lot of food at the Costco cafe, you are still feeling hungry...so you decided to treat your family to a Japanese Hibachi grill!  After the food was served up, you would be quick to swallow down a giant plate or two of Japanese food, because you just feel like being a whale today! However, that afternoon after you came home from the Japanese Hibachi grill, you would find out about your brothers getting arrested while trying to confront Ross at the movies! Furious, you would attempt to get ready to confront Ross himself, but just then, your wife would let out a blood curdling scream! You would ask what is up, and it turns out, one of your dogs is having a seizure! You would go into a panic and rush your dog to the vet! The vet manages to stabilize the dog, but begins to ask you medical questions about the dog. You answer them honestly until the vet asks about what you feed your dog. You hesitate before you lie through your teeth and say you feed the dogs good, healthy dog food, even though the last thing you fed your dog was a small plate of chicken nuggets from a McDonald's. The vet sees through your lies and begins to chew you out, telling you that this kind of diet could kill your dog! You get mad and tell the vet and the nurses to go fuck themselves before leaving with your dog! On Saturday, March 23rd, 2024, you would wake up quite depressed from your ordeal at the vet's office. Your wife would tell you that your brother Ross is seeing another horror movie today, "Late Night with the Devil!"  However, still depressed, you didn't feel like confronting your asshole brother today. Instead, you would drive over to your sister's place and look over old photos of the family. You would look over pictures of Ross when he was young and "not corrupted" by the International Movie Theater and you both would bust out crying! If that bastard Ross has never set foot in that godforsaken movie theater, not only would he not be corrupted, BUT ALL OF THIS HORRIBLE SHIT WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO YOU EITHER!!! |
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