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here's where I will store my April 2024 Dew Drop-In poems |
Computer Blues (revised) Sometimes I thinkMy computer is plotting against me And only me! Trying deliberately to drive me mad. My computer knows When I am busy, Then it throws a hissy fit. Here are some of my pet peeves Constantly Crashing It often refuses to boot up, And crashes constantly. It loses data it had the day before. Or five minutes before. Or refuses to save the data. Just messing with me. As it loves toying with me Making me yell and scream On my computer screen. Can’t Open Files Often when trying to open A document in Word, The Word open file button Fails to respond Sometimes you have to wait Five minutes for it to respond. Or when trying to open a file The computer opens a random file Instead. Or when trying to open a document It kicks you out Often several times Sometimes you can Open a copy Sometimes not. Sometimes you can save the document Under the same name Often you have to save it Under another name. Sometimes it refuses to open A document saying There is a dialogue Box open. Which is a lie There is no Dialogue box Visible. Random Blue Screen of Death Cursing up a blue stream of blue curses As the blue screen of death Marches across the dark blue screen Smiling at me. Years ago my computer converted everything to the number 6 endlessly scrolling down the blue screen of death. as it did not like that I had spilled coffee on it! Endless Non-Response Spinning blue wheels Open the document once Not twenty times! Quit with this Endless spinning blue wheels. In endless loops Until I have to reboot the computer. Computer error Haiku Codes Don’t give me computer haiku error messages That only makes sense to a computer geek. Such as general error reading files Who is this general Failure And why is he reading my files? Or can’t save the file Or can’t save the “An open file” When it just did ten times in a role, Or kicks me out, while losing my data. Copy and Paste Wiping out document text Or when doing a simple copy-and-paste function The computer defaults to the last command Making you have to do it again and again Up to five times sometimes And on a random basis The copy and paste function Wipes out all data In the document And to add insult to injury Deletes all previously saved version Sending the data Into computer limbo land Never to be found again All without warning Just zip it's gone! Frozen Num Lock Another thing My computer loves doing Is on a random basis, Turn the numbs lock on Without warning Turning text into numbers. Requiring you to manually Turn off the number lock. All Caps Pops On a Random basis Once in a while The all-caps button Mysteriously turns on Turning everything into caps. Fortunately Usually, there is a warning flash. Defaulting to Foreign Languages A very annoying feature Is that when you log in from overseas Everything defaults to a foreign language Usually without the ability to change It back to English Despite the fact Your settings are all in English. There may be a hidden button To change language Written in the language Used in that country. AI hallucinations AI is a great tool But sometimes It gets things wrong Or it makes stuff up! Google Bard Once tried to convince me The US Embassy In Seoul had moved Five years before To a new location Outside of Seoul. Only problem was That was an AI hallucination Based on a proposal almost ten years ago. Mission Accomplished And all the other gobbledygook messages That pops up every five minutes, it seems As the computer slowly drives me mad. Flashing the final insult User-driven mad Mission accomplished. |
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