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These are my daily "affirmations" |
| I'm sitting here at work looking at a stack of citations that need to be done. I told myself that I wouldn't do anything here until I did some work. I'm so undisciplined with myself. Of course I justify it with the fact that all of my quality thoughts would be wiped out by the mindless work like sorbet cleaning the pallet or whatever. (which is probably true) I was thinking the other day about my writing. I haven't really written a story, like ever. So, maybe I'm not really a writer. I mean, I can put my thoughts down on paper, sure. Who can't? But I think that what I do is more akin to looking for approval of myself. It's so sad and unoriginal, but yeah. At least I can see it. I believe that is the utmost important thing. (they say the first step in solving a problem is realizing/admitting you have one) Don't get me wrong, I do think that I have a lot of potential as a writer, but I need to do it if I want to do it. I just think that maybe it's kind of a cop out to just put myself out there, since I think I already know myself pretty well; it's just regurgitation. So, anyway, I work at a PD. (not a popo, just a civilian paper-pusher, report taker, etc.) It's kind of great because I get to be in the loop, so-to-speak, and get ok pay. But, being in the loop isn't great always. I sometimes hear about the most terrible of things. I have become alarmingly desensitized to a lot of things, but there are some events that are so dramatic that it pierces my tough exterior. I really want to write about one of these events. I can do this and not divulge otherwise undisclosed information, but my main concern is that a person died & I have to be tasteful, tactful, and respectful. (I believe, or more importantly, my husband believes in the spirits,{or whatever}) In other words I have given myself a very daunting task (what else is there?) and am having trouble following through. Hmm. Quite a predicament. Back to the grindstone I guess. Here's a neat quote: Be good and you will be lonesome. *Mark Twain (the awesome-est of quoters) |
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