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 |  Zee Journal! |
| I'm going to try to write this all out, but it is going to be very quick. I can't sit like this for very long. Sorry for those who might have thought I've died. I went in for emergency surgery when I began to experience severe abdominal pain. They thought it might be my Appendix, but when they went in for further study they discovered that I am in the 2% of the population that has a defect in their intestine they develop during their time in the womb. Suffice to say they took my Appendix and roughly a foot of my intestine. I was in the hospital for a week and I'm now recovering in the comfort of my parents house. This is the first time I've been able to actually make it up the stairs, and let me tell you: it's not fun. To rant for a bit, which I want to so bad so if you are reading this you'll have to deal, because I'm not even going to apologize. Because of this problem I wasn't able to see my brother before he left for Iraq. He visited me once in the hospital, but I guess I looked so bad at the time that he couldn't bring himself to spend any more time with me. My father is now gone on military training for 6 months, and I slept through the last couple of hours I would get to see him before he left. I've truly fallen for a girl that wants nothing to do with a relationship, even though she finds these ways to keep me hooked. The night before I went into the hospital we spent the entire day together. We went on a date to a nice restaurant, bought movies, and cuddled on the couch and watched them the entire night. She agreed to go on another date with me but ever since I've been in the hospital it's back to what it used to be: passive and indifferent unless I get too mushy...then she politely tells me to stop. My friend Jinx and I had a tiff the week before I went into the hospital. I was having a horrid week and I snapped at her. I apologized, but in return she turned down the apology and snapped back. I just kept myself away for the rest of the evening, I didn't jump on her. She hasn't talked to me since. Even during the million times I tried to call her while I was in the hospital. I've sent her messages on MySpace, and not even there do I get a reply. For some reason my throat has swollen up during the process of recovery. The doctors say it's probably a reaction to all of the medication, but let me just explain how swollen it is(gross alert): when I tried to pull flem up from my throat my uvula(?) literally rested itself on the back of my tongue and I had to push it back with my finger. It is not fun. The time bed ridden has given me a lot to think about, and I'm thinking I might just cut myself from about 90% of the old parts of my life and spend a year just dealing with myself. Right now I'm just slowly letting my emotions kill me. I'm just miserable to no end, and something has to be done. To be honest guys, besides a "Get better soon" I really don't want any pep talks. If I had a pen and paper I would have just wrote this down, but I can't seem to find either or. |
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