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| "It is better to have less thunder in the mouth and more lightning in the hand." Love the quote. And so true. Sort of the opposite of the white man’s version of “all talk, no action.” One thing I have learned from a bureaucracy (or a kids’ playground) and something I tell my 7 yo all the time, the ones who hit or criticize or bully are trying to exert control where they can because they feel they have no control in their lives. Its all opposite. So, if you wish to look in control, say less, help more, boast less, ask more, talk less, listen more. I’ve also seen this work in parenting. My 3 yo is a bit stubborn. Many are, I’m sure. I have noticed with him that if I say more than about three words in a command, I’ve lost him. He’s a smart kid but I have a feeling I sound like the adults on the Peanuts shows (Charlie Brown). I can point to the bed and look at him and he knows what I want him to do. I can hold my hand out before approaching a street and he will take it. If I say “hold my hand” he will say “no, I don’t want to”. I can threaten to do something if he doesn’t quit acting out or I can give him a swift pat on the bottom and he gets the point (not hard, mind you, I am a social worker, but sometimes words take too long ie. Tweezers in the outlets LOL). I also can see this with employees and employers. The “do as I say, not as I do” routine is just not working here. Talk is cheap when it isn’t backed up. You can’t say you are supportive of an employee and then stab them in the back later and expect there to still be trust. Same goes for clients. I have some clients that I’ve been asking about when they were doing something (starting or finishing a class, getting their drivers license, whatever) for months and months. I finally tell them, “here is a list of some things you need to accomplish and here’s my number. Call me when you finish each thing. If you need help, call.” I do this b/c I personally get tired of “I planned to do it when I got my next paycheck yada yada yada” I can’t write that on a court report – she almost finished with this, she plans to this when she gets her paycheck, she doesn’t want to do this because someone said they didn’t like the instructor, etc” I know these things they do seem like jumping through the hoops and they are to some extent but when the worker says “you want your kids, you need to really change but some things need to be on the court report (finished) or he won’t give you the kids back”. I know it seems so overwhelming to have a stack of things to do before you get kids back or before you get to another level at work or whatever the case may be. I think if you can just make a list and scratch off things as you go, it helps. It also helps to stop talking about all the stuff you need to do and just do one thing, just one. Pat yourself on the back, do a little jig, scratch that puppy off the list and do the next thing. Action – that is what will get you closer to anything, not just talking about it. And with that said, I have about three contests to enter by the end of the month outside WDC so, in order to do rather than talk, I will shut up and get it done. Take care all, SWPoet   ** Image ID #1265210 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1192380 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #1410321 Unavailable ** ** Image ID #swpoet.JPG Unavailable ** |
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