Complex Numbers

Logos

I have only a passing interest in marketing, and suck at graphic design, but I find logos interesting. So, apparently, does Cracked.

The Bizarre Origins of 15 Famous Logos  

"Bizarre" is too strong a word here, but such are clickbait headlines. You won't believe what happens next!!!

In the quest for that perfect logo that will stand out but not in a bad way, companies have reached back into the scary, briny depths of human creativity, taking inspiration from everything from strip clubs to Greek gods.

So there you have it: the answer to the question (which nobody ever asked), "What do strip clubs and Greek gods have in common?" (Other than "Both will smite you if you put your hands somewhere you shouldn't.")

I'm not quoting all fifteen here. Just the ones I have something to say about.

14. Chupa Chups

You’d never know it from the lack of ants or anything decaying, but the Chupa Chups lollipop logo was designed by Salvador Dali during his “anything for money” phase in 1969.

This one, I knew. (Actually, I think I knew most of them, but there's always something else to learn.)

12. Starbucks

Hopefully everyone knows by now that the original "mermaid" was bowdlerized to appeal to prudes. What might be news is where the big-titted mermaid originally came from.

It probably actually came from the artwork in a 15th-century German book.

"Probably?" Okay.

Speaking of titties...

11. McDonald’s

The golden arches were adopted as an ode to the ones that framed the original restaurant, but they were kept because they were Freudian. During a branding overhaul in the ‘60s, one psychologist advised them to keep the logo because it “symbolized a mother’s nourishing breasts.”

We're talking about two of the biggest franchise chains in the US, and thus the world. The moral of this story is: boobies work.

9. Michelin

This mind-blowing about the Michelin Man comes in four parts: 1) He has a name. 2) That name is “Bibendum.” 3) He’s made of tires. 4) He partied like a rock star. Early advertisements featuring the Michelin Man from the late 19th century often depicted him smoking a cigar and drinking champagne...

I think they accidentally a word there. Also, the Michelin Man is apparently a badass. Or was, until they turned him into a marshmallow.

8. MGM

The first MGM lion was apparently such a beast that he was buried under a marble slab to “hold down the lion’s spirit,” as if it might leap out and turn someone awesome via possession, but that’s nothing compared to the next one, who was the first to actually roar.

As far as corporate logos go, it's hard to beat an actual lion. (Food Lion, aka Shitty Kitty, doesn't count.)

Why hasn’t Marvel given this guy a movie?

For the same reason Cracked doesn't do an exposé on Alfred E. Neuman: competition. Marvel is owned by Disney, and the Mouse has more lawyers than a lion can eat.

3. Facebook

“Blue is the richest color for me -- I can see all of blue,” he later explained, because that’s Mark Zuckerberg’s top business concern: Mark Zuckerberg.

Colors aside, I always hated the facebook logo's font.

1. Gucci

Those two interlocking G’s don’t just stand for the brand name -- they’re actually the initials of the founder. Yes. The poor man’s name was Guccio Gucci.

And based on the movie House of Gucci (an MGM film, incidentally), you could probably power all of Florence if you attached a dynamo to his spinning corpse. To be fair, insiders have said the movie's not accurate, but at least you got to see Lady Gaga's boobies.