Complex Numbers

Loose Morels

I talked about poisonous mushrooms a few weeks ago, here: "Everyone Calls Me Mushroom Because I'm Such A Fun Guy" . Today's article, from Atlas Obscura, is about a non-poisonous one. Well, sort of. Well, not really.

The Mysterious Mushroom That Only Grows in Burn Scars  
To find fire morels, forage after wildfires.

You mean... go... (shudder) outside?

Also known as burn morels, these fungi grow exclusively and prolifically in the ashen moonscapes of recently burned forests.

I have to wonder how many cases of arson were people wanting rare shrooms.

They’re toxic raw but have a subtle, umami flavor when cooked.

And that right there is enough to make them a great big nope from me. If you have to cook something to make it non-poisonous—especially if you happen to be camping in the middle of a burn scar—it's not worth it. I mean, what if you don't cook it enough?

Fire morels, which Steinruck says have a mild smokiness to them...

If they didn't, I'd be concerned. More concerned.

The trek is challenging, from the terrain and from the fire. Spivack warned me that “after a fire, it’s even harder to get a toehold after everything’s burned. The slippery wet ash seems like an ice rink under the duff, without tree roots holding the soil in place. Burned-out stump holes and root channels can lead to a nasty fall if you’re not paying attention to where you step.”

And you thought a trip to the grocery store was loaded with (morel) hazards.

Apart from the stupid amount of time and work required to forage for these fungi, there are some interesting bits.

“There’s such big questions on how [fungal roots] can persist for so long before a fire,” says Ron Hamill, a mycologist who has been researching burn-related fungi for the last 15 years and is currently working on a book.

Please, please let the book be titled something like "Loose Morels." I'll also accept "Morel Support."

One reason that morels remain so mysterious is that they are nearly impossible to distinguish from each other. “We were really limited [in research] before by our ability to just identify fungi,” says Sydney Glassman, a professor at the University of California, Riverside. But technologies such as DNA testing and stable isotope testing are changing that. Her lab uses molecular analysis and bioinformatics to identify pyrophilous, or “fire-loving,” fungi.

And another reason not to bother: the possibility of misidentification. I know I don't carry a DNA kit around with me when I go (shudder) outside.

All of that notwithstanding, I still think it's cool as hell that even after a raging inferno, life, uh, finds a way.

Mostly, though, I had to make the pun in the entry title.