Neurodivergent here. All the disgusting things I do or think on display. Wail away. |
Past petulance from uninformed ignorance grows indifference, calm, before I reach the undertow. Can’t near yet like Buckley until I realize purpose, reason to walk toward blurry, hazy horizon. Nothing full framed comes into focus. But, you were in there, trapped in glass — I imagine devious, devising ways to self-destruct before any (who weren’t witnessing) could shackle with steel brakes. A barreling locomotive (none helm a switcher), I’m steering off track, seek comfort of rust in deep, blue water. Words I’ll strum, smooth with hands flattening waves, tremors, swirling that slow rises in me, above my waist, awkward arms raise like a ballerina unable to pirouette, dance like a monkey (for you), slowed by the thick, brackish, gummy bay bottom. Heading out a mouth agape, widening to an expanding horizon, dazzling, dull gold washes infinite gems purging, bleeding into black outside cold-wooded, guarded lake where this scaly monster finds safe home. Scales grow thicker, shed my words in songs forming, forgotten, drowned by brisk gales at my back when I want to perform to the empty, driftwood populated beach, at shore collecting fires, other passions burning — now a gray, dusty lump, hardened by showers In the wreckage preserved, if any want memory back, flames reflected, once mimicked a sky before truer purpose was a new heat. Wood depleted claimed all I lack, won’t, can’t give back, as waves cool, lift above my neck. Is it even tide yet? Timing wrong, I could go down to find Jeff’s secret world like an already decayed fish, past floating, since bloating, expansion that soon sends me to gruesome dark, underwater cave, to my troubadour. 3.24.23 Never done—but time is linear, a fool seeking secret portal, for the aliens who could come if I wasn’t so pathetic. My hand is numb from tap, tap, tapping my codes like riddles designed to seek random serendipity, answers in happenstance discovery. |