Jots and Tittles and other Random Things

Here goes the Marbles again

I'm writing as this is the only way I can vent myself. Let it all out, so to speak. I'm usually a pretty happy go lucky kind of gal. I enjoy encouraging others, and I try to be helpful when I can.

So this past year has smacked the fool out of me. I went from a fairly active and positive person to someone I don't really recognize so much. I went from getting my credit score into a good place to "circling the toilet". I have bouts of moodiness and sulkiness that are not me. I am angry and fearful and sometimes I just cry when it doesn't seem to be a reason to.

I realize that I was literally at death's door. I was even "knocking on the door" of my mortality. It still seems surreal to me, but now I have a host of problems that are seemingly never ending. I haven't had trouble breathing, and now I seem to be sucking on an inhaler like it's my best friend and I couldn't live without it. Doctors come and go.

Some good news, I guess: my left kidney seems to be ok, and is doing about 70% of the workload. My right kidney is my "problem child" and I am having a laparoscopic surgery to see about getting the stone out of it. One day, I hope that my kidneys will be "OK" enough that I only have a yearly appt, instead of monthly appts

I realize that this body I'm in is just a housing - that I have a body waiting for me one day that will be incorruptible and glorious. I'm just tired of band-aiding this body at times, but it is all that I can do for now.

This is a little heavy, and I don't mean for it to be...I am venting my frustration out on my computer, and I hope I don't scare anyone off.

I'm ready to be myself again. I know it takes time...I'm just the most patient of people. I try to stay busy, and end up in a funk sometimes. I guess I need to prioritize what I need to do...I'm having to live by lists and sometimes that's hard too.

Thank you for bearing through this rant and venting outlet. Blessings to you.

Sincerely,
AmyJo