Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋

In The Dead White

Collecting air-bonded water,
invisible night rolls through
the smallest aperture
in my cell container.
Bonded, restless thoughts
invisibly hide in chest, the whole
beneath thick canopy against
undeniable Winter. Pale gray
shutters the sky until black.

Short days. White drifts.
Love leaves in darkest hours.

The season billboard of colors
entertain a dry eye,
fly, fall, skitter all atwitter —
dancing, cartwheeling,
where? Could I follow?
Just a lone driver.

Joyous, ignorant journey
of wayward life lost years ago,
tethers memory in a warm bed.
I’m unwilling to fight for her again.

She is gloom, absent
in this darkness, where I
remember days before us,
when hope reduced the daily dread —
before I glimpsed
her as a Summer ahead.

We journeyed in tandem
amid moist-clung, frolicking leaves
so many years, growing
accustomed to one I could depend.

I thought she understood
where I stand, on forest edge.

Precipice of void abyss nears again.
When did her hand loose?
Why do they all fall away?
Deceptive seasons meld slow
before plucked, noticeable departure.

The night’s air drains.
Condensates null, and no wife.
She’s dry now, sight heading high
above needle-shedding pine, swaying
in the dead white avalanche.


9.12.23

Down the hall now, her nightly terrors like frightened spirits shout and moan. I can’t reach over to comfort, settles my own heart to know I could still abate the pills bitterly swallowed.

I’m in a King size bed alone. 10.27.23
I had thoughts of having someone join me.
This void is widening, swallows something that dares but can’t be proven to exist…horror vacuii not a Halloween reference.