Life’s Little Misdirections 🥀🦋

Set Me Back, Not Going Ahead…of you

Trying to make myself feel…something…
Set Me Back To Autumn

I need to seem timeless than old…I feel
beauty within;
it doesn’t project without…when their fixed eyes dim
from summer to ice-thick white…can’t feel
those flames I kept rekindling to tap warmth
in brief moments.

Will winter be eternal, spring delusion and summer
the fires of hell? So,
I dawdle quiet, alone beneath permed trees,
note the blooms that starve and wither…
not like me,
not going to be me.


9.23.23

Can’t stop myself…
What’s eternal, if you’re dying? Even predictions for my home planet are bleak…merely a speck of time left in the post-calculated dream-history of a warm, wobbly marble that just wanted to roll around with a scattered, scrambled collection in dark, structured, haphazard, miraculous but temporary disorganization, within the scope of blinding, hot gas belching temporary love.

…rerun every possible scenario; don’t die like Einstein…we can’t atone regrets…not possible to get life right.

Still got a bit of egg on my face? Thanks for noting. Can’t help you with yours if you won’t stand in the light. Is it my fault I leave myself open to the likes of you? Maybe, I’m helping the delusional delude themselves by revealing my flaws and ability to trip with shoes I inadvertently tie together…again and again…for ire or just amusement.

I can pick up and go on with my day, now, fully knowing those who are so willing and narrow-minded to judge, set boundaries, make insane rules, to protect themselves, indemnify their own ignorance.

Let me just say now, to save us the trouble later, ‘it’s okay’. Go atone on your own time. I think lol write and learn from my own mistakes. More coming. Inevitable, no matter how hard I bite these reins, blinders on. Not by choice. Your mask, not mine. Not your beast of burden who needed to understand ‘why?’ WTF, manipulative S.