The Worlds We Forgot

Type: Journal Entry, Author: "A"

Just End Me Now




I'm tired
It is cold and dark and the wind is howling along with the increasingly loud rain hitting the roof.
Can’t I just get a little sleep?
I get it ok? I messed up. Had a lapse of judgment. Made a bad choice. But don't I get at least some points for recognizing that and admitting it? Don’t I deserve a little bit of this guilt to wash away with the rain? To blow away with the wind?
Apparently not. Because I’m cold and exhausted and guilt ridden and kind of maybe want to die just to see if that helps.
Who knows, maybe that’s the answer.
I wonder if you can feel the weight leave your soul - as it finally lifts from your chest as you die. Or do you feel it grow heavier until it drags you into the depths of the universe.
Either way, it’s tempting.
Because it’s hard to think. Breath. Feel. Eat. Sleep. Function.
And I want it to stop.
Please make it stop.
Maybe bleeding will make it stop.
Regardless, the blood is pretty and the sting is both relaxing and grounding.
Win-win.
…I’m tired.
I think I’ll let the weight drag me down tonight, so I can suffocate in the loneliness and drown in the rain.
I guess I’ll open the window then, to.


Name: A Date: Why bother