The Writing-Practice Journal

Let�s Get Out of the Way

         An almost fatal mistake occurs when the writer refuses to take himself out of his fiction, poem, or prose pieces. We are writers and what we write is more important than us. Unless we are writing into a journal, personal notebook or diary, or the POV (point of view) of our fiction piece is in first person, we have no business butting into the action.

          Some examples:

         .I.

         - I settled on the sofa quietly and watched. To me it seemed as if John was trying to wriggle his way out of this deal. I saw him crack his knuckles and look away.-

         In this setup the author is in the room observing two people interact with the entire story being about these two people. We already know he is there watching the action with the POV (point of view) belonging to him. His story would come to life better if he didn’t cut into the lives of his characters.

         A better way would be:
         -I settled on the sofa quietly and watched. John was trying to wriggle his way out of this deal. He cracked his knuckles and looked away.-

         .II.

         -I've been to see Dr. James Brueger in Anaheim. Then I met him again in Laguna Beach, and then at his Chicago office a couple of times. I heard about him from an acquaintance that he had remarried. Also my sister told me that Dr. Brueger had undergone a very positive change due to his new diet discovery.
         Dr. Bruegger’s new regimen consists of beef and green vegetables and no carbohydrates.

         This article was a scientific, expository piece about a diet doctor and his diet. As an opening, if the writer introduced himself in the beginning, it would be acceptable. Yet this writer kept getting in between his subject and his writing throughout his article.

         A better way would be:
         -I know Dr. James Brueger from Anaheim. Laguna Beach, and Chicago. Dr. Brueger’s life has undergone a very positive change after remarriage and his new diet discovery.
This new regimen consists of beef, green vegetables and no carbohydrates.-

         .III.

         -I reached to pick a flower,
         It seemed to me its thorn
         pricked in scorn;
         I think it was threatened by me
         since I believe he knew his life was short-

         A better way would be:

         -I reached to pick a flower,
         its thorn
         pricked me in scorn;
         threatened for
         its short life-

         So, let’s give our work breathing space and elbow room. We’ll be very happy with the result.

Today’s tip:
Do not mix “I think” with “I feel”.
to feel : to sense, to be emotionally affected by, or to have a broad conviction of something.
to think : to use reason or scrutinize with the intellect.

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"The Writing-Practice Journal" 

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