Varying Shades of Gray - My Life

11-03-02 #2

Well, I didn't get the carpets cleaned. Instead, my mom and sister had the bright idea of having dinner together, today. So my mom and I went to my sister's. We usually do on Sundays, anyway but my mom said nothing about it for today and this even after I told my mom that I was wanting to clean the carpets, today. Don't get me wrong, I love my family I just can't stand being around them. I am glad that my brother wasn't there, anyway. He and my sister get into these big religious discussions that just drive me up the wall. I have nothing against religion, but I can think of a million other topics to discuss when we are all together, other than who's going to hell, who isn't. Everytime they get together, the conversation will lead to religion and then it starts. They disagree about their views and try to convince each other that they are right and the other is wrong. I get so sick of it. And then eventually one of them, usually my sis, will try to bring me into the conversation and ask my opinion. And I honestly tell them, "You REALLY don't want my thoughts on this subject." Whatever subject it happens to be that day, I usually tend to disagree with them. I have my views and beliefs and they differ from their's. Religion is a topic that you just can't discuss with my sister, especially. Unless of course you agree 100% with her views.
Again, I do love my mom, my sister, my nephew and my brother. It's just that I choose not to engage in these discussions with them.
Besides, I've got other things and issues on my mind besides their disagreements. So i usually drag my nephew away and we play his playstation or something else.
And no, I have not told my family about the recent events with JMC. Simply because they would turn it into a religious discussion. And my mom? Well, I love her, but she sometimes tends say things that instead of helping, only cause more frustration. She will say things without thinking of what it is she's saying and without thinking of the consequences and effects it may have on us. Now, I know she doesn't do it out of spite or just to be mean. She really is a sweet woman. But, hell, I don't even know how to explain it right now.
She and I also had an argument earlier, about the internet. She said that was going to have it cut off on the 20th of this month. NOW, I know why she wanted to get it in her name. I told her that she cuts off my main communication with JC and BOH, I would bust her f**king TV apart and then shut off the water, gas and electric and move to where JC is. Then she said, "Well it's your fault. You haven't got a job and I can't afford it." WAKE UP WOMAN!!!!!! What f**king rock have you been hiding under? Where I am at, the four largest employers have laid off about 10,000 people in the last 8 months alone. And it's not like I haven't been trying to get a job. Okay, so excuse me if I refuse to work in a fast food joint, okay. Most of them here don't pay s**t anyway. It would be a waste of my time. Yeah I know, I've heard the argument before, well it would better than nothing. Maybe, but doubtful. It'd still leave me in a finacial mess either way. DAMMIT!!! Okay, I'll quit my b****ing, now.
Other than that s**t, I am in a pretty good mood, though. I did get to chat with JC for awhile earlier. I haven't seen BOH online yet, though. :( I know he usually does other stuff on Sundays so I'm not really surprised. But, it is always good to see him, too. On those days that I see him or JC my mood usually improves. On those days that I seem them both, it just makes it that much better. Ah, oh well. I know I can't see him *everyday* :) But it helps, hehehe ;)
Well, I guess I'm finshed rambling, for now anyway.
I hope you have a great evening. :)