A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Why question magic?

I feel like writing just now...so I will. I've got the Ramones cranked up nice and loud. Actually it's the Ramones Tribute CD. I don't care about grammar today...or rules of any kind for that matter. Maybe it's the Ramone's influence. Driving with the Ramones on could be dangerous today. I'm working on my second erotic story...but it can wait for a bit...(she's not going anywhere for the time being) Even my erotic stories are silly and stupid...go figure. I guess I'm just a silly and stupid kinda guy. I'm glad I've gotten over trying to write "seriously". Once in a while might be good...just for a change. Mitchell is going through a bad patch just lately. I won't go into it coz it's his business and I know he wouldn't want me broadcasting the details of his private pain publicly. It's brought us closer together I think. We went to the big city the other day. I used to live there. I'm glad I don't any longer. I like visiting cities but living among the concrete and plastic people rushing about like ants is soul draining for me. Some cities are better than others for some reason. I love London...even their subways. I have lots of patience in London...not much in others. Some cities suck. I often drive by all the lighted windows at night and wonder about the lives behind those curtains. Everybody is so wrapped up in their own little corner of the universe. I believe there are magical places...I have some favorites. Places so special they always bring a smile to my face...regardless of how often I visit or just pass thru. I'm not sure if it's the place itself or the memories I associate with the place...whatever. Why question magic?








Hungry Ever After

"I want something different."...hissed the Master at Simon...curling his upper lip just enough for Simon to catch a quick glimpse of a pearly white fang.

"Not Italian. I've had my fill of Italian lately...and not Mexican either. Too spicey!"

Simon cringed...lowering his head quickly when he realized he had made eye contact with the Master. He stepped backwards and braced himself for the expected consequences.

"Do not provoke me little one." the Master whispered softly as he stroked Simon's bald head. "Simple Simon."...his long curved fingers now caressing Simon's ear..."Poor tasty, simple Simon."

Simon felt the Master's talons dig deep into his ear lobe. Simon knew not to show any sign of pain as he had often witnessed how that affected the Master. He didn't want to end up like Simon #114 did...Ewwwwwwwwwwww. Come to think of it..."Ewwwwwwwwwwwww" best describes how all the 114 previous Simons had ended up...Well maybe not Simons #67, #82 and #91. "Oooooooooh gross" would probably best describe how they ended up...and Simon #23 didn't bare thinking about.

"Go now and find me something different." the Master said...lovingly patting Simon on his bald head...while licking the trickle of earlobe blood off the talons of his other hand.

"Ookie dookie Master...I'll be back in a jiffy Master. Something different coming right up Master."

The Master gave Simon #115 a puzzled look as he watched him scurry up the stone stairway. This Simon was unlike any of his previous Simons. The Master often wondered how fresh and juicy he'd be...but this pet had been spared...for now...because there was something odd about him that both amused and perplexed the Master.

"I'll see what he brings me back tonight." thought the Master as he mentally juggled Simon #115's fate.

"I must please the Master." thought Simon as he scurried through the dank castle corridors. "I've gotta remember to pick up some budgie food while I'm out. I love bath nights."

Unbolting the large Oak doors that led out of the Master's lair and into the night...Simon chanced one last peek backwards to see if he was being followed. Nope. Hot Damn. Simon was pleased the Master had placed such faith in him.

These late night foraging quests were the best part about being a sadistic evil creature of the night's lackey/gopher/plaything/book buddy.

(Okay...so the Master never once suggested that Simon #115 be his book buddy...but just the thought of the Master wanting Simon to be his book buddy made him feel all warm and gooey inside)

Simon made his way down from the Master's mountaintop lair and into the village. All seemed quiet...not a soul to be seen anywhere. Every door and shutter had been securely locked since before sundown.

"Hmmmmmmm... thought Simon as he lurked about in the shadows "I wonder who I should ask to the prom."

Simon made his way to the first house he came to and knocked softly on the back door. From behind the locked door came a muffled "Si?"

"Mexican?" asked Simon.

"Si." was the reply.

Moving on to the next house...Simon stealthily made his way to the back door.

"It's me Simon...from the castle high atop the mountain just outside the village. The Master sent me to invite you to dinner at his place tonight."

"No thank you. Uncle Gustav went with you last month...cousin Heinrich last week...and little Helga just three nights ago. No one's seen them since. The poor Linguini family two doors down has only one Linguini left. For the past eight generations...the word in the village has been that your Master is a cruel, sadistic monster with a never ending taste for villager blood and a peculiar fondness for servants named Simon."

"Really? Are you sure you won't change your mind? I think we're having Jello for dessert."

"Jello? You don't say? I'll be right out." and with that Fritz Hauserhoffen bid his remaining family members goodbye and joined Simon in the deserted street.

"Are you different?" Simon asked Fritz Hauserhoffen.

"Different? Are you asking if I like boys?" Fritz asked eyeing Simon suspiciously.

"No...I mean would you say you'd taste different?"

Fritz replied he thought he'd taste normal.

"Oh oh. Normal...Boringly normal...Dangerously boringly normal." thought Simon.

Hmmmmmmmm What to do? Simon suspected tonight's offering would determine whether there would soon be a Simon #116...and more importantly where this story went from here. What pressure.

"Normal just isn't different enough." thought Simon.

It took several minutes before Simon convinced Fritz Hauserhoffen to go back inside his hovel.

Hmmmmmmmm What to do now? It was at that very moment Simon happened to conveniently notice a paper on the cobble stones by his feet. The paper wasn't just another ordinary village flyer...but the very script for this story.


"Ah hah! I don't have a clue what I'm looking at but I have a feeling this could be important." thought Simon as he read the script.

(Okay...I admit this lacks a little something in the credibility department...but hey...A cruel, sadistic monster Master? A servant named Simon #115? Jello? A story with only one Linguini? You've been buying it so far. Don't start getting picky on me now...besides...I'm a lazy writer)

Simon made his way quickly to the village doctor's house. There's no need to go into detail about the doctor because he's only a minor character who's only role in this story was to give Simon the things he asked for. So off went Simon with his bundle of doctor things in hand.

Back at the castle Simon could see the Master was feeling quite peckish...and annoyed. *cue the sinister music*

"Where's my offering? I trust your very life with finding me something different and this is what you bring me?" the Master said softly but cruelly as he inspected the things Simon had brought back from the village doctor.

"Please Master! Try this." said Simon as he offered the Master one of the IV bags of blood he had gotten from the village doctor.

The Master's long curved talons reached out and snatched the Blood bag away from Simon.

"Imbecile!" snarled the Master as he hungerly sunk his fangs into the plastic pouch. Blood squirted out everywhere and covered the Master's face and hands.

"Ummmmmmmm...Not bad. I can see where these would be more convenient to take on a picnic than a struggling villager...but where's the challenge? Where's the sport? Nope You've disappointed me my Pet. Our friendship has come to an end tonight." said the Master beckoning Simon to come closer.

"Please Master...just try this last one." said Simon nervously as he offered the Master an empty IV blood bag.

"Do you take me for some kind of villager?" hissed the Master as he stepped closer to Simon...wrapping his long curved talons easily around Simon's neck.

"Please Master"... Simon could barely whisper with the Master's grasp growing ever tighter..."I don't understand...but the script says for you to insert the needle into the large vein in your arm and everything will be okay."

"The script says for me to do that does it?" said the Master nervously...peering around himself while loosing his grasp on Simon.

(The Master had only one fear...ME! He knew only I was smart enough to harm him. Only an author could write him out of existence)

So the Master did what the script said and inserted the needle into his vein. The needle stung as the plastic tube quickly filled with dark, black-red blood that flowed into the empty IV bag.

"The script says for you to drink Master." said Simon #115 hesitantly.

So the Master sunk his fangs into the full IV blood bag that was attached to his own arm. The Master had never tasted anything like it. This blood was definitely different from anything he had ever tasted before. Tangy...yet not too spicey. Sweet...with just a hint of salt. A secret blend of eleven different herbs and spices. A mixture of six hundred victims and lost soul's blood from throughout the centuries.

The Master sunk his fangs into the bag and drank greedily. Soon he had sucked himself dry...and with that he collapsed into a heap of dust on the floor.

So ended Master #6's reign of terror.

Snuff out Simon #115 will he? I like this Simon...and with that I sent Simon #115 off to get some Jello, feed his budgie and take a bath...as I began to write an add for a new Master #7.









I would really like some barbeque peanuts right now. I love nuts. Nuts are proably my favorite type of food now that I'm a veggie. That's probably not the best advertisement for any would be vegetarians out there. Become a veggie and you too can find nuts thrilling...not to mention noodles and pasta...Yummmmmmmmmmmm. Mitch and I got some veggie burgers in the big city. Some places make FANTASTIC veggie burgers...(I used to love hamburgers...KFC...Hell I loved all fast food). I'm NOT a fan of McDonald's veggie burgers though. I've wondered if they purposely make them shitty so their beef burgers seem better. There are some places where I can't tell the difference between the beef and veggie burgers. I sometimes wonder if they give me the same thing regardless of what I ordered. I've worked in a few fast food places way back when. I wouldn't want to eat at any place that would hire me back then. I wasn't evil...but I did enjoy a good laugh. I've been listening to the same song over and over again for the last few minutes. I like to write this way. Some songs stay fresh regardless of how old they are...others have to grow on me. Some songs I fall quickly in love with and then ignore for years....only to rediscover them all over again. Usually I like or at least can listen to everything that becomes a hit...but every so often a song sneaks onto the hit list that I can't stand. These songs have become hits but I can't figure out why. It's like all kinds of people collaborated just to irritate me. The song writer for writing the crappy song in the first place...the back up musicians...the record company for believing in the song...the radio stations for playing it over and over and OVER again...and the public for buying millions of copies of it. If they REALLY want to piss me off it will win a Grammy or something. Fortunately this happens very rarely with me. It must really suck liking a genre of music that almost everyone else thinks is crap. Going to concerts with 30 or so people in the audience is never a good sign. I've been to a couple of concerts where they didn't sound anything like their CD's. I know some bands want to give their fans something different when they see them live...but some end up not even sounding like the same band. Usually it isn't a good sign when the lead singer brings out bagpipes...although I have been to a concert where that happened and he wasn't bad. Wanna hear about my love life? Tough. I'm not hearing about your's so you can't hear about mine. Do you think bagpipes have been ignored in erotic stories? I haven't read enough erotica to know yet what's normal...but I have yet to read anything about bagpipes. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. I would think they'd have potential. Come to think of it...everything has potential when it comes to erotica. Oh oh...I can tell my mind is drifting back to my story again. I best get back to the dirty business of daring deeds and moist moods.




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