Rants on lit. from Guatemala

for today i am a teacher

Music: overdrive, by the japanece group Judy and Mary. I actually like this band. Despite the fact that i can understand only a few words of japanece... it´s still cute beyond belif...

Read: Some wierd thing for school. Let´s see, i read something called the lady or the tiger? wich apparently is a mandatory short story to be read in highschool. Sometimes i feel damned lucky i was borned in lathinamérica.

Well today is the day i finally become a teacher... ajjj... the things i will do for money! damned it! at least i didn´t end up as a two buck prostitute in 5th av. good salary, bad hours.

My job is going to be, belive it or not "english lit teacher" god damned if they could read this... with all it´s misspelings... i´d get fired. So, i´ll keep to myself from myself the name of the school.

Got to talk about phylsosphy today. That was refreshing. God how i miss being in college, then we could do our philosophy thing... kitchen philosophy, but it was accelerating never the less!

this guy was telling me about how metaphysics must start as a detachment of the self. which is, in my oppinion, nonsense. One must start from with in himself. Asume what it is to be oneself and then move forward. And the more we talked about it, the worse it got. I can see why he thinks that... But it certanly is a trap of thought to pretend thought can scape itself. (have to give this another revision)

Got to meet some of the students. Even one that i met first on the net. How small the world is, is not even funny... damned, if i were famous i´d be lesser known. I picture myself like a fungus that grows behind that can you are afraid to get out of your freezer... i´ll stay in your mind, but will not insite action.

i told this student of mine: "old people need their stuff to be where it has always been. Because if you change something, the thing looses it´s meaning" and i think this is true. Sometimes we need our chair just as it is, no matter how beat up it is... this is reality for you right there.

In other news... Mariana almost never writes to me anymore... god i miss her. I actually thought she loved me... what a fool.

Now i don´t know what to do... but hey, who does right?

i heard somewhere that when you are in love you just know it... and if you don´t that means you are not in love. And i don´t know anymore how to feel about mariana... so what would these mean.

What would happen if mariana was the girl in the lady or the tiger? i don´t think i´ll be dead, or married. She just wouldn´t have showed up.

I´m bitter, can you tell?