A peek at the REAL Thumbster

Guys Like Me

Hello


I thought I'd go all out and celebrate...this being my penultimate centesimal journal entry.

Too la de da huh? Penultimate centesimal isn't representative of my vocabulary. Hell...representative isn't representative of my vocabulary.

I best start all over again...


'ello...'ello...'ello

Welcome to my 99th...(as in pre100th)...celebratory journal gala.

Still stuffy huh? How about...


Yoh

Park your asses over there. Whatcha bring me? Huh? Whatcha bring me?


Too subtle?

Well this is the big one folks. My nearly/almost/just about/virtually/well-nigh/...(I'm reaching now ain't I?)...one hundredth journal entry. Can you feel the excitement too? I can't wait to see what I've got planned for my 100th entry. I wonder who they'll get to play me in the movie version? You know...people have said I look a bit like Bob Saget. Remember him? He was the original host of America's Funniest Home Videos and the dad of the Olsen twins on the sitcom Full House. Remember now? Remember him? ...Remember me?... Hello?... Are you still with me?... I wonder if he has people telling him he looks like Thumbsucker. I hope so. I don't mind being compared to him. Yeah...He's far from perfect...I'm FAR from perfect. From what I've seen of him on TV, I like his easy going manner. I take it as a compliment. I hope he does too.

I feel sexy today. Yup. Caught a glimpse in one of the mirrors here. Damn but I feel sexy today. This is TOTALLY unrelated to Bob Saget in any way now. This is about me feeling hot...not him. I'm sure he has his good days too.

The first time I ever heard the word penultimate was in the Monty Python sketch...The Penultimate Last Supper. I guess you can tell what sort of youth I had huh? I'm VERY proud to say they and others...(Bob Saget for instance)...influenced this penultimate centesimal journal entry today.

Rock on Ian Hunter

So...in an effort to keep the excitement at this fever pitch level...I think I'll write another quick little silly thingy. I've been working on my never ending story... "Invalid Item"  and I could use a break. I've decided my need to be totally stupid shouldn't be suppressed any longer. Lenny is a nice guy and all...but most of us don't have his imagination. I know I don't don't. Most of us can't be bothered to woo a woman like he does. I know I can't. Most of us never asked to be Bob Saget look-a-likes. I know I didn't.

So having got all that out of the way...here's a quick Lenny and Samantha-ish story.

Sorry Lenny. Sorry Sam. Sorry Bob.







Guys Like Me...(The story of Me and You)


Her eyes met his. His smile mirrored hers. A fleeting touch. A lilt in her voice. An offer to dance...





Hey...this isn't Lenny now...it's me.



"How much longer till the 85 Buick's done?" I asked while scratching my butt.

"It's a very big job sir. Those warning lights on your dashboard are there for a reason. It won't be ready until tomorrow afternoon at the earliest." said the service center manager.

"Tomorrow? Hell. Where am I supposed to sleep tonight?" I said frustrated at suddenly becoming homeless.

This was shaping up to be another bummer day. That's when I noticed you in the the customer waiting room.

Your eyes quickly darted down as I finished picking my nose and approached.

"Hey Baby..." I said in my deepest, sexiest voice. "Mind if I sit here?" I asked motioning to the seat beside you.

You gave me a puzzled look which I took as a come on...so I grabbed the arm of the old lady sitting beside you and pulled her off the chair.

"Fiesty little thing ain't she?" I said while warding off blows from her purse. Fortunately her arthritis and bad hip forced her to move on.

"So Baby...This must be your lucky day huh?" I said while sliding an arm around your shoulder.

"What? What are you all looking at?" I growled at the losers sitting nearby. They quickly buried their faces in magazines and let me get on with sweet talking you.

"So Baby...Are these real?" I asked pointing to your breasts.

I could tell you and I were hitting it off really well by the way you started to squirm.

"Get lost!" you yelled while slapping me across my face. I love a tease.

"Wo wawee...Wow wabot wo wan we gowin wac ta wou wace?" You looked at me oddly...as if you couldn't understand what I was saying.

"How's that? Better? I said...How about you and me going back to your place?" I said readjusting my false teeth. "You slap pretty hard for a girl." I could tell we had chemistry.

You stood up. I took this as a que to hurry back to your place and start doing the nasty.

"That's what I like to see...A woman who's as eager as I am. Don't worry Baby...This won't take long. There'll be plenty of time for feeding me after I wam bam ya."

The service manager and several mechanics from outback then escorted me out of the building. I could tell you were pretty upset.

"Don't worry Baby...I'm gonna make sure you don't forget me." I shouted to you with my nose pressed flat against the window.



Awwwwwwwww...That then was the sad but sweet story of our first date. Hopefully there will be more precious memories to follow. You know...somehow I can't quite picture Bob Saget being like that. Maybe we're not so alike afterall.


Happy 99th everybody!





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"Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor
"Invalid Item"   by A Guest Visitor