My True Soul

Growling is fun

*Growls* I hate that!!!!! I still love Sarah's voice. And when I hear it, STILL, it makes me smile... grrrr, I don't wanna smile cause of something like that. She left me a voice mail on my cell tonight while I was on the phone with Eric. N, I just listened to it... she didn't say anything, just asked me to get online since she didn't get me. Well, I did, but, because I'd wanted to talk to someone else. Gaaaah, I HATE THAT! I hate it cause I love it, it's, odd. There was nothing at all special about that voice mail. But still, there I am, gaaah. I hate having the thing about voices and it really gets to me how hers is just... so damn pleasing to my ears. It always has been, along with her laugh. And I still think it's cute when she gets sleepy. *Bites lip* Grrrr. Eric was like "you never know, you 2 may get together again". I just was quiet... then I said "eehhh...no". And I'm worried again, she's fainting like she did last year before she got shingles. *sighs* I want to be let go of feeling that way when I hear her voice. And I wonder why Eric basically calms me and tells me not to get so mad, cause she might be my soulmate... it makes me wonder, were we really that good of a couple together? My thoughts? At times, yes. At others...not at all. I have more thoughts but, goodness.

Jess kinda laughed at me cause I was talking to Sarah and April at the same time. I talk to Sarah, I get a headache, I get nervous, I get... just so wound up. I talk to April, even when she's not feeling great, and I am concerned, but I don't get a headache, I don't get nervous, I don't get so wound up. And she calms me. *smiles* Anyway.

Oh yes. Before all that. I talked to Eric for an hour. He said he feels like he's loosing contact with the peeps in my hometown. I see how and why. But I am not about to loose Eric for a friend. I am Gimli...he is an ELF. Quite literally, in many ways. =)

Aaahh, thank you Shorty...I'm stealing this quote for the night. "‘Cause I hate the way I feel tonight/And I know I need you in my life/Yes I hate the way I feel inside" - 12 Stones

My mom and I were talking about mixed couples earlier. Not in a bad way, just in general. Well, my dad came in...started telling us about something Dr. Laura said. This guy called in on her show and said his white daughter was dating a black guy and then went into how he thought it wasn't natural for that to happen. Dr. Laura was all "Look at character, not color" (right on Dr. L!) and my dad agreed with that, but then he says that she's all for there just being one race of people. (I'm still wondering how he got that or if she did say it.) Well, he's all against that, he says it's not natural like the caller did.
My mom and I are confused to why he thinks this. We asked him, not in a mad way, we just wanted to be enlightened, ya know? He explains... it makes no sense at all. My mom just looked at him "you think that's not natural cause you've been TAUGHT it's not natural." I was asking him if the guy meant he had a problem with just his daughter being in that situation or if he felt that way about it all...never got a clear answer.
He's now getting upset, he's yelling, and all this. Mom and I were just listening...until he said it was the same as dogs and cats breeding. We both let it out then. That is in no way the same thing. And quite frankly, it was stupid as hell to say it was. Now, he goes on, trying to explain his point. We're both still listening, he's still shouting.
Finally, I said the ONLY reason why I didn't want one race, was because I felt it diminished the differences that make people unique. I don't want differences to cause hate, but I think it's special that we each have our own lil culture. So, I guess I just like embracing the roots of who we are, not sticking to them, but knowing they are different from others. And that includes culture groups, not just race. My dad said that's what he meant. If so, he put it in a VERY crappy way and argued a bit too much about it all. My mom and I just... we looked at each other and rolled our eyes.

Speaking of my dad. He also told this guy he works with that he and my mom were thinking about moving to the lovely state to our west, lol. The guy tells his wife, who talks to my mom, n she asked my mom about it tonight. Ya know, sometimes, my father should learn just to keep his mouth shut. I guess everyone should, but I swear. I'm still puzzling WHY anyone would want to move to that state? I mean, I know I did, but I did because of college. Not cause I actually wanna STAY there.

I am trying so hard right now not to cry. I have not cried since....July 11th, save 1 tear. I will not cry now...not for these reasons. No, this has nothing to do with my dad n stuff.

Anyways, I get to go see my FAV women's basketball team EVER play against my school's team. Who's side am I pullin for? My fav teams! And I get to go for free if I can find my student id. (That rhymes...) It's lost somewhere amongst everything here. The last time I had it was...when Return of the King came out. *makes face* I haven't mentioned this to my parents. Oh well. I'll find it.

My mom had a good point when she came by earlier. I am planning on going to see Mrs. B tomorrow and Kat. That won't be til like 1 pm, but still. I'd like to get up a bit earlier. Gonna start packing tomorrow so I won't be rushed. I hate that rushed feeling. Oh and when I get back, I am so going to the Deli. That's what food I want!!! I'd been wanting something now I know.

Oh, n yes, my coke thing. I'm down to 1 regular coke n 1 diet a day. Agh, I want food... all the sudden. My stomach hurts, my chest/throat hurts. I'm out!