Monkeys

Please Please pray

"Please pray for me.....I have some stuff on my plate...and I can't handle it. God is telling me something.....and just to make sure I get the message, He is doing somethings that I can't understand right now. And I cannot do this. There seems like no light for me at the end of this very very long tunnel. Every single aspect of my life is going through a tough time right now. I don't want this, I don't need this. Please Pray.

Bek"

That's the entry I posted in FN today....and you know what's sad? I didn't want to say anything more....and those people are my friends. I didn't want to go into detail. Sad.

Things are not good for me right now. Most aspects of my life are crumbling. I want to let my car get reposessed. I want to stop going to church all together- then I won't feel guilty that I can't go every other week. I want to quit my job- which I am going to do tonight- because then at least when I don't get a paycheck, I will know why. I want to leave this place. I want to get as far away as I can from earth. New York isn't even good enough for me right now. The only perk I have there is that my mom will actually listen to me, and when I am done venting, she will hold me and let me cry. And Patrick. Sweet, innocent Patrick. He can remind me that things can be simple. If only I was 6 again. But I am not.

I want out.