Personal Journal

Not the end of the world

Well, the dizziness and fatigue is not resultant of new tumor growth. In fact, the MRI news was good, if not great. The tumor has shrunk, but the measure of it will be imprecise until it starts growing again. There's a lot of fluid mass around it, and the tissue remains - how much of it (if any) is alive and how much is dead won't be known for a while. Again, so that's good news.

What's not good news is that the we really don't know why she's having the problems that she's having. We see the neurologist Wednesday. I think he'll have the answer, he's a smart guy (yes, redundant - neurologist and smart). I think they'll probably have to drain the shunt in Jean's head (they inserted one during the biopsy just so fluid could be drained as needed).

So now, we're back on Chemo this weekend, her maintenance schedule. Last night was her first night, and despite our belief that we had the kinks worked out this time, and could avoid nausea, we could not. Spent the night from 2 a.m. to 5 a.m. (and she was up till 8 a.m.) throwing up. Poor girl. Absolutely dehydrated beyond belief. I should really look for some weed for her, see if that helps it at all. I might just have to do that.

Tonight, we expect it again (why at night, we don't really know - it hits her when she wakes up, regardless of when she takes her chemo pills). So I'm in here writing (thankfully; it feels SO good to write again). And I'm worried about her - she fears the nausea so much anyhow.

One of these days I'll have to make an entry just about me and my stuff, but it's understandable that two whole lives revolve around this cancer, and so it's what I must document first.

It is never too late to be what you might have been. -- George Eliot
Courage to start and willingness to keep everlasting at it are the requisites for success. -- Alonzo Newton Benn