Monkeys

Right now

So here I am....at work again. Seems like I do that almost every day of the week....anyone notice that??

Last night, Joshua called and we went out for coffee. But then there were too many people in StarBucks so we couldn't sit down. So we drove to Denny's to eat, and they wouldn't let us bring in our coffee. So I ended up drinking mine later...cold.

It was an okay time. Still kind of wondering why he wanted to do so. I mean, I wanted to, so it was all okay. But I'm not sure that he really wanted to. If he was wanting his birhtday gift, it's too bad, because I fell on it yesterday morning, and broke it. And, I can't get a refund....because they would know that it was not, for any reason sold to me like that. So yeah. He didn't get that. But it was good to hang out with him. Just hang out. He wasn't under any pressure for anything....and...well, I was....but not neccessarily because he put it there. It was just there.

I slept kind of oddly last night. Just couldn't get comfortable I guess. Emotionally and physically. When he took me home, I really wanted to hug him....but didn't want to seem pushy. He needs time...otherwise, if I hug him, he'll bolt. He has already made comments to others about how desperate I am- how I cling to others who are close to him. When in fact, I do not cling to him. But I do love him. And I hope that the love I have for him never goes away. Because it is such a real and wonderful thing. Awesome.

Beckie