Time To Get Real

Musings

Okay, so I fucked up. I missed an appointment today, though I can't remember what it was for. I missed taking my medication so death was on my mind again today.

Mornings are always bad, mostly because the most traumatic things in my life has happened when someone has woken me up. People dying, mostly.

Sometimes I wonder if death is a friend or an enemy. I've been fighting it for so long, and in the end, I have an appointment with it anyway.

I shouldn't talk like that. I shouldn't even think like that, but it feels like all the fights been sucked out of me. You know, like when someone punches you in the solar plexus. I don't know why that is. Or maybe I do and don't want to admit it.

I better take my fucking meds.