Marv's Mind

Microwavable Safe

I ran out at lunch today to do a little birthday shopping for my daughter. I found everything I was looking for at one store. Perfect!

On my way back to work I stopped off at the grocery store and bought a yummy looking Stouffer's escalloped chicken and noodle TV dinner. I usually buy a cheap off name brand of TV dinner, something under a dollar, but today I was feeling fancy so decided to "go all out."

I arrived back at work, excited about my lunch, and promptly stuck it in the microwave for the specified 5 minutes. Mesmerized by the rotating motion of the glass plate containing my lunch, I stood there staring at it, willing it to cook faster. During minute number two I noticed something with feet scamper across the inside of the microwave. Before I could identify it..... there were two more. They were roaches! They hopped on the rotating glass plate and rode it like a merry-go-round. Once the paralysis of disgust wore off, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the employee break room, "WHAT THE FUCK!"

I think they could hear me down at the fire station but luckily none of my co-workers could. (There are tons of benefits working with the deaf!)

The roaches didn't actually touch my lunch but the whole situation made me extremely uncomfortable and nauseous. I abruptly lost my appetite and when opening the microwave door to throw my lunch in the trash..... they looked at me, as if to say......."hey, we're playing here, why don't you take a hike."

I called Phil, the bug man for our campus, and he told me "Marv, you know those roaches lived through the ice age and the poison we have ain't gonna kill them. They're immune and they make their homes in the microwave because it's warm."

Needless to say.....I didn't eat lunch today and my skin has been crawling ever since. I think I'll go puke now!

-Marv-