Zee Blog

Hopeful Pesimism.

So I'm slowly pulling myself up from the funk I've been in recently. It's a slow process, but one that is working out I think.

I'm still pretty depressed, but the levy is holding now. I have to keep myself focused on everything else in life and the comfort it allows me in its chaos.

Still lonely, though. Like usual I'm surrounded by those who have someone. It's funny how when you have someone you can be so passive about it when they're not around. Yet, when you know in your heart you have no one you feel nothing but suffering, even when you know that someone else is out enjoying their time with their significant other.

Some great music I have today. Truly beautiful, yet truly depressing all at the same time. The irony of exposing yourself to such things when you really want to just smile.

Ugh...when will I be able to smile for more than a moment and mean it?