The Never-Ending Ramblings...

Nice Try

Two of the regs are here, hitting on court one. Neither likes to pay court fees. Since griping about the fees is easier than presenting an argument before city council, I am reminded of this unfair practice – to charge players for court usage, whenever they come to play tennis.

One, in particular is very vocal. He thrives on dispute. Splitting hairs revs him up. We’ll call him Bob. Bob is a pretty solid tennis player who loves talking trash on the court. When I’m not the object of his venting, its amusing to witness; his banter with his opponents. Bob hates paying court fees. I pull his teeth every time he walks into the building.

Today, he was late, his opponent already on court one tossing a few serves. “Roooobiiiin.” He drags my name out like it was a song.. “How ya doing?” More singing. Maybe he’s just downed a cool one. Or better yet, hit the eggnog.

His buddy has made his way back into the building. They chat it up a bit and then to me, Bob says, “Robin!” (dramatic pause) “Have you lost weight?” A woman’s four favorite words. Beating out, contrary to popular belief, "Will you marry me?" Hands down. Not even close. Have you lost weight opens doors, melts anger, soothes frustration.

“I think I’ve just toned up, ya know, from playing so much tennis.” A tactical move on my part, I want confirmation.

“You’re looking goooood.” He looks up from tying his tennis shoe. I wave him off. I’m getting a whiff of a scam here.

“No seriously.” He enlists the help of his buddy. “Doesn’t she?”

Well, of course, his buddy’s gonna comply. Like he’d actually say, ‘well, ya know Bob, now that I look at her, she really doesn’t look like she’s lost weight and furthermore, I think she’s gained a few pounds.

They stand there discussing my looks for a minute. Maybe they have forgotten I’m standing there. And there’s that whiff, only it’s stronger. Bob’s trying to wiggle his way out of court fees through niceness!

I haven’t yet moved away from the register so he keeps his buddy talking. “Robin looks better than her daughters.” Yeah. Right. whatever. I look outside. It must be snowing.

"I'm serious."

Yeah, I'm serious too. Somebody doesn’t want to pay his court fees.