Straight No Chaser

Yes Jesus Loves Me

...which is a comforting thought, amid it all.

not to be dramatic, but it really makes me feel, well, borderline, when things that are supposed to hold spiritual significance...suddenly don't. "misstra know-it-all," which till about twenty minutes ago i assumed was about the higher power, is actually just a light, poppish poppydoodle about a materialistic human man.

i want to be finished with this journal.

this is going to be a noisy semester. roommate's tv is perched high on her dresser, with speakers positioned to blast their noise directly over the top of my tv. meaning i have to turn mine up very loud, to hear it, which naturally prompts her to turn hers up louder, until it's just this meaningless cacophony, audible from way the hell down the hallway.

i think the reason i don't pray more than i do, besides the fact that i always figured it was the spirit of intent that mattered, rather than the quantity of total hours spent doing it, is that i'm always afraid i'm doing it wrong, because i cannot shut my brain off to send my thoughts fully to the heavens.

that's what it's like, being in this room right now. i need this to be a sanctuary, and instead it's an orchestra pit, five minutes before the performance starts. endless tuning, snatches of melody but nothing recognizable.

i guess i should say something. move the tv. one of the two.

i should be a better christian. i want desperately to find myself enclosed in holy silence.